Am I strange?

I keep reading the messages on here and they are lovely. However, I am getting worried. So many people say that their partner “appears” to them in one way or another. I really don’t want that. I just want him back and knowing he “is there” brings me no comfort at all. I don’t need that. He is gone and I accept that, but I didn’t want to be without him and having him partly there in a vision or a picture falling off the wall is no damned good. Sorry. It’s the burial tomorrow and I don’t know how I can cope with it.

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Thank you from the bottom my heart. It is so lovely that you care.
I am signing out of Sue Ryder as some people seem to think I was being negative and they mae me feel so small, stupid and alone. I didn’t come here for that. I wanted to be loved and comforted and that just didn’t happen. My husband would be devastated if he knew.
Goodbye and good luck. X

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Hi AnnR. I do hope the funeral goes well. I don’t know how to phrase that any better. Sorry! Nothing about a funeral can go well for the bereaved, I do know that. If you don’t want anything to happen in the way of visions or suchlike then it’s very unlikely to happen, so no worries.
You have enough at the moment to cope with so try not to give such matters any thought. Just take it day by day. I can only wish you well for the time ahead. Please come back and talk whenever you want to. Everyone on here knows, so you are among friends.
Take care. John.
I have just read your post about leaving the site. Now who would make you feel that way? I have been met with kindness and understanding on here, and yes, love. ‘Small stupid and alone’. You may be be alone but you are by no means small and stupid. None of us are. I wonder where you got that from. Please don’t leave. We all have so much to offer and later you may well find some comfort here. Be kind to yourself. John.

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Thank you so much Jonathan. I
With one exception, everyone on here has been so kind and caring. My husband used to say “there‘s always one” !
As for tomorrow, I am sure it will go well. I have got the most amazing and caring funeral director. Whether it is his job or not, I could not have wished for better support. It is almost as though he knows me and I am so glad I chose him. (If anyone who ives inEast Kent would like to know who it is, please email me on [edited by moderator].)

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Thank you so much Tillwemeetagain” You have made me feel better. I will see how it goes, but I must say that my already fragile state was not helped by that person’s criticism of me. It hurt!

Now Ann. Promise you will come back to us. People can give comfort and help, and also what is important is that you can help others in a similar position. But for the moment take it hour by hour. Blessings, and if I may a virtual comforting hug. John.

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Thank you so much for that. I have got the burial tomorrow so I am feeling extra fragile and the words of that person really hurt me, whether she meant it or not. I will have a rethink after tomorrow.

Hi Ann
I must admit I never gave visitations from my husband a thought but the first year I had many from him and they did give me comfort. I had to come to terms that I was never going to have him physically by my side again but to know he was somewhere near did help me. It didn’t stop my many tears but I did have some respite after he visited me a sort of calm. My husband was very ill when he died and to see him looking so well again was all I needed. Your loss is so new and very raw so perhaps you will feel a little differently at a later date.
The funeral was something I absolutely dreaded and even considered not going but somehow we draw strength and find a way through it.
xx

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Thank you,for those kind words. Maybe I am extra sensitive because the burial of the ashes is tomorrow but that person’s criticism really hurt whether she meant it or not.
I will have a rethink after that, but an apology from her would be nice.

Thank you Pattidot. Your reply has given me something to think about and I thank you for caring. I hope I too will find strength for tomorrow. My lovely family will be there for me but they are hurting too. How can I comfort them and me?? Love and hugs,
Ann

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Thank you so much. The support I have had had from people on here has been invaluable and I thank you all so much. I will let you all know how it goes tomorrow.
Bless you.
Love and hugs
Ann x c

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Hi Anne I really hope you get through tomorrow as best as you can. Sorry if some are negative on here I posted something thinking I was helping that person only to receive a comment from someone else stating I was going off topic and missing the point. I did not respond. Please try and be yourself tomorrow it will be really hard for you cry scream whatever makes you feel a little better probably the wrong word better don’t think it ever gets better. Sending love x

Hello Ann, you’re not strange, lots of people don’t get comfort from signs even if they believe their loved ones carry on existing after they have died, a robin doesn’t mean anything to me as it could just be a coincidence, I just wait for the day till I am one day reunited with my dad hopefully, but if people do find comfort from signs, then that is great for them.

Please do not leave this forum, we’re all broken souls here and sometimes you can misunderstand someone, the person who offended you is a nice woman and she did not mean to hurt you at all, I hope the funeral goes ok tomorrow and if you need to talk about it, please do come here and let us know.

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Thank you so much x

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I agree. My tears are a tribute to my husband. I am letting him know that I will never forget. I don’t fight the tears any more.
xxx

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Thank you so much Kim. All the best to you tooXx

Thank you Pattidot. All the best to you x

I never gave a thought to signs such as Robins or feathers before. I did not expect any signs from my parents but when I lost my husband who was my soulmate and best friend I somehow felt a connection to these things as well as so much more and it became a whole different meaning to me. I am a down to earth person, and not prone to imagining and I was surprised by such happenings. I am not saying that my husband is still existing but after talking to a spiritualist who has become a friend she has explained so much to me that does make sense and yes, give me no end of comfort.
xxxx

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Dear Pattidot,
I am so glad you are getting such comfort from the things you mention. I had no belief in it but my eyes are gradually opening and my feeling now is, well, you never know.
Thank you x

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Good for you, Patti.

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