That’s another Sunday over. This house used to be full of talk and joy for Sunday lunch. My parents, husband, children, me. Now all have gone. The place is silent. I had hoped that as one generation ended a new one would begin. That my children would return with the grandkids. But life had other plans. I miss my son so much. It breaks my heart that his life was cut short. Is it awful to hope that mine will be too. I go through the motions of going to work, doing the garden, walking but always with a heavy heart. And no one to turn too. Thank goodness for places like this site. Love to all.
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Hello Dear Orchard-I see you did not get a reply to this post, so I am here to say I hear your pain and desperation, and I want to offer support. You know you are never alone on this forum. This is such a painful journey and whatever you are feeling is understandable, as I often feel the same. What can we do to fill this emptiness? I wish I had the answer. The void is so vast. Take care of yourself, and hold tight to the beautiful memories of your precious son. Wishing you hope and strength. Xxx Sister2
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Orchard…
…strange i just found your post as i have started a post very similar to yours…Yes my house back home was also filled with so much activity which doesn’t seem too long ago…There was me, my Richard and our three darling dogs, where once everyone was flitting about from one room to the next, from the kitchen to the back garden, from the front door to the car…I still have vivid memories ( which at the time i just took for granted of ( during our summer hot weather he would wait till it got cooler in the evenings then get out from the garage his hose and hose all our flowers, the flowerpots and hanging baskets both back and front ) this was a regular thing he always done, what i would give now to be back home and see him do this again…one of our furbabies always scurried in once he saw this hose or even a watering can…I am finding the memories are so so heartbreaking and there is not one day that has gone that i have not pictured those days and not cried over this loss…i know nothing good lasts forever but we never see nor expect this day to actually arrive, and believe you me, that day is here quicker than we imagine…
Oh i am so so sad you have lost children, this is NOT the way it is meant to be…i am so sorry to hear of the loss of your son…
Jacki…sending a (( hug ))
Jackie…
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Thank you Jackie. Yes it’s breaks my heart to know my son won’t get to enjoy more of his life. He won’t experience his own children or explore his love of travel. This life can be so cruel. I have read a lot of your posts and I know you have a lot to cope with. I wish you strength to keep going x
Orchard…
…i think what a lot of people dont realise when parents lose a young child, it does not only rob them of their child but it also robs them of their grands, their future generation…Yes we parents are expected to go before our children, not the other way around…
Jackie…
Sending you a (( hug ))
Hi Orchard,
Your post could have been mine. I’ve jyst had a silent Sunday too… used to be the most noisy day of the week. Both our sons died within the last six years and my husband died 29th April this year. I can’t believe it’s just me now either … I hate it!
I hope you have been able to keep occupied., I think of the future… who will be there to hold my hand when I’m dying like I did his … doesnt bear thinking about. I miss him so so much., who is my next of kin now! What does the future hold.
Love abd hugs to you from me … I’m always here to chat, Sue x
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Sue…
…i feel exactly the same as you…now I have lost my Richard age 74 suddenly, i am 68 and have PP-MS, who is going to bury-cremate me, i made him promise that my ashes go with me three dogs ashes, now who is going to do that now…I am also wanting to be with him, his ashes but i allowed his sister age 83 to have them sent back home 140-150 miles away, we moved away just three years ago due to my MS illness, Richard is now back home at the crematorium with his parents and brother, i cant be in two places, with him and my three beloved fur-babies…I always had told Richard i want mine and the dogs ashes to be scattered amongst birds and trees…
Jackie…
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Good morning Jackie,
It’s a horrible horrible lost feeling isn’t it. I am 66 and Roger was 72 but he was fit a d healthy. He was diagnosed abd died within four weeks. All he was worried about was leaving me on my own after all we had been through. I said it’s ok I will be alright! I do t know how I said it. I told him to go a d be with our two sons. But in reality I wanted him here with me. Their ashes are all scattered in an orchard st the back of our local park … our so s used to play there abd make debs there etc and so did our three grandchildren. That’s where I want to be.
It seems so alien being the only one left. I hate it. I do t see how I will ever ever get used to it. I’m going to make a new will and put my wishes in there. I have good friends who say they will make sure it’s done I do t know. Grandchildren are too young to be talking about stuff like that really. Maybe their mum will do it I dont know.
I never thought my retirement would be like this.
Like you all I want is to be with him. I looked after a patient once … old and cantankerous … but I liked him. He said I do t know why someone hasn’t invented a way for you both to go at the same time save a load of trouble! He was right looking back.
I hope today is fairly ok for you. Take care avd Thankyou for replying.
Love Sue xx
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Well I’ve had such a lovely week with family,friends and grandchildren.Then suddenly I’m all alone again missing my husband so much and the tears start flowing again.Its like some kind of cleansing process because after a good cry I feel a little better but empty.It is early day’s. Only April when I lost him .And I know it is what it is. It’s just good to share my feelings with other’s. Thank you for listening.
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Hi … glad you had a lovely time but it is early days for us isn’t it. I’ve just been crying in the phone to my grand daughter … she had One of her A levels remarked abd is into Oxford now. Her dad would be so proud… I wish he were here to know. My husband her grandad would be over the moon as well.
Crying is a I seem to do at the morning me t too … I hope this gets better as we go along.
Love Sue x
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Hi Sue. Great news about your grand daughter. You must be proud.Yes it’s times like that you wish your loved ones were around to share the news.My husband David just missed our 3rd grandchilds 1st birthday.He was just starting to reognise his grandpa and hand him a ball.He is my eldest son’s first baby and he was heartbroken when his Dad passed away as we all were.My husband’s birthday is coming up in September and we plan a nice meal in his honour. He was a chef so it better come up to scratch.Love Jeanette.x
Jeanette…( peaceful spot )
…it was April 11th when i lost my Richard, seems so many looses happened during April on this forum…My Richard was 74, i am 68…his death was sudden and unexpected on the morning - mid day where he died in his armchair…
Jackie…
Hi Jackie. I’m 65 and my husband was 67 when he died in hospital of total heart block and other complications on April 26th.We were planning a happy retirement together.He had already retired and I am due to retire next year.Heartbroken is the only way I can describe my feelings.People say I’m coping well but it’s when I’m at home on my own I really feel it.Bless you I know how you feel.Its hit me a little sooner than expected.It will take time for all of us.I do feel my husband is with me.Well that’s my belief and it gives me comfort.Keep strong.Love Jeanette.x
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Hi … I hope you have a lovely meal then! It has such an impact on everyone doesn’t it., my youngest grandson is 11 and he misses his grandad so much … they were so alike and did a lot together. He keeps saying he can’t understand why the hospital couldn’t get him better. It’s hard to deal with all that without frightening the kids.
It’s such a shame that they are missing out on grandchildren and all their milestones and yes, you are right, it’s horrible not having anyone to share news with … good or bad.
Take care … love Sue x
Can’t even watch Poldark without getting upset as we spent quite a few wonderful holidays in Cornwall.My husband loved it in St Ives.I couldn’t go back there for a long while I whould find it too upsetting.The memories?x
I’m the same … we loved Cornwall and went there a lot. I can’t imagine being able to ever go there. It’s so hard to do things on my own … even locally I find it hard. I wi see if it will get better x
I managed togo to see my sister in Suffolk on my own and my brother in Surrey.It will get better.Its hard tho.Doing things without them.x
Thank you for being there for a chat.Night night.x
That’s an achievement! I dont drive so have to get used to trains/coaches I suppose. I have been cycling locally to get to where I need to be. I hope we can co tinye to take steps forward. Thanks for replying … I’m here any time. Love Sue x
That’s an achievement! I dont drive so have to get used to trains/coaches I suppose. I have been cycling locally to get to where I need to be. I hope we can co tinye to take steps forward. Thanks for replying … I’m here any time. Love Sue x