The anniversaries of my wife and I come thick and fast. March was her Birthday, this month is when she went, next month is our anniversary.
It’s taken a while to work out how to cope with them, but it’s finally come clear.
On each occasion, I’ll do something new, which I know will be challenging, and I’ve never done before.
Last month, I struggled up to the top of Mam Tor ( a very big hill) in the rain , where I’d asked her to meet me. That was a great day for me.
This month, I suddenly decided at bedtime that I would like to play the flute!! I’ve never played a wind instrument, other than a cazoo and that doesn’t count! I asked on our local Facebook group if anyone can help, and got a quick reply from a flute teacher who remarkably only lives up the road, and by 10am I’d booked my first lesson this Thursday. It will either be a great success or an abject failure, but I’m sure I’ll be proud of myself for trying, as I hope Penny will be as well!
Next month, I need another challenge to try for her (and me!).
Any ideas?
Good for you. I love your posts, you are an inspiration! Thankyou.
Thanks @Arvia. Have I inspired you to do something as well. ?
Penny died two years ago when I was 74, so I guess (hope) that I’ve got another 10 years in the tank. I figured that there’s a reasonable chance I’ll finish up in a care home, sitting in a chair looking back at my life.
I decided I would then want to look back at those last years, hoping I had made the most of them, and had no regrets that I had wasted them. I only have one chance
Wether anyone feels they have ten years in their tank or two your positive attitude is an inspiration and the idea of doing something new for both of you is wonderful.
That’s amazing!
Mam Tor is a decent ascent - I went up it some years ago.
Hmmm, well, flute playing is a long-term endeavour, are you looking for something else like that, or just a challenge that can be done in a day?
Long-term: learn a new language? Taking on a new volunteer role?
Day challenge: hike up another local peak?
As others have said, your way of thinking is inspirational
I’d be looking at both, @Burgled . I’m not looking at being a flautist, good enough to play in a orchestra, if I get better each day, that would be an achievement. Maybe just tooting along with the ukulele bands I’m playing with would be good, or tooting at home to the dogs.
I think I need a short term target for May. I was looking at abseiling off a skyscraper in Sheffield, but I don’t think I can do that, I’m too old, with a cardiac condition and two metal knees.
Maybe potholing might be ok?
Too heavy for a gyrocopter and similar.
I used to volunteer for Guide Dogs for a few years, and I would love to do it someore, but they aren’t looking for volunteers any more
I’ve just finished playing with a banjo band in Sherwood Forest, so I took the dogs for walk and now having a sausage and egg butty at a bikers cafe.
They are all old blokes like me, having a wonderful social time.
Hmmm! Shall I buy a bike??
Maybe not, but it’s an option for some of you
Oooh, how about Cinnamon Trust? Volunteer dog walking, usually just once a week (or more, if you can manage it). I’ve made some wonderful friends, doing that .
Thank you @ burgled. I’ve just contacted Cinnamon Trust, looks good (That’s if I ever complete their huge application form)
Oh brilliant! They have a new chief exec who seems to be really responsive, so they probably wouldn’t mind hearing your feedback about it being a hefty form.
Just to throw our ideas into the hat, Sue Ryder have lots of different challenge events that raise funds for our services:
There’s an event called Zip The Cow in June. It’s great fun and your knees shouldn’t be an issue. It’s in Sheffield, so not too far from you.
Walk to the top of the iconic “cow” at the Cow and Calf Rocks above Ilkley and then jump from it, sliding 270m at speeds of up to 35 miles per hour.
You can find out more about Zip the Cow here:
Please us let us know how you get on with the flute too, @tykey! Would love to hear your progress 
If anyone wants a challenge, which goes on and on, is to get yourself a Ukulele and join a club, especially if there is local one run by the U3A. If anyone says they aren’t musical, then that,'s no excuse, because ukuleles have little to do with music, they are just for bashing out tunes and singing with like-minded untalented people. VERY easy to play, you can be strumming along within a couple of minutes. If anyone says they can’t sing, then they are wrong, you will sing just as badly as 99% of everyone else who will be there. Can’t read music? It wouldn’t help if you could. We have a blind lady who loves playing with us.
What you will get is lots of fun and company from people who are retired, very often bereaved, and struggling, who will soon be your friends.
Give it some thought, you can then tell your friends and relatives “I am now a musician!!”
@tykey I srcond that one. I played Uke with 3 different groups for about 5 years and loved every minute. I only stopped because i had Carpal Tunnel surgery, and didnt have enough strength in my hand to hold down the strings.
Maybe i should try again. Theres no one here now to hear if/when the air turns blue!
Hi @tykey
I love your positive way of thinking, it’s inspirational.
Hmmm… As for challenges, the only limit is your imagination, my favourite saying is “Imagination is strongly than knowledge, dreams are more powerful than facts, & hope can triumph over experience,”.
… How about a dance class, or cookery, invent a new game, complete a 1000 piece puzzle, … Not sure if it’s quite what you’re looking for but I’ll suggest it anyway, I have invited a game I used to try to keep my mind focused when I’m stressed, it’s called “celebrity name chain,” the rules are simple, you start with the name of any celebrity, for example, Bruce Willis, then the first name of the next one starts with the first letter of the last ones surname, so in our example ‘W’ for Willis, so for example William Shakespeare, so our eg list might go like this:
Bruce Willis,
William Shakespeare,
Sandra Bullock,
Bryan Blessed,
Barbara Windsor,
Wendy Richards,
Robin Williams, etc etc etc, the only rules are that they have to be a real person, past or present, (so no cartoon characters or fictional characters, though stage names are ok), & they have to have a surname, so it doesn’t break the chain, (so you can’t force example say “Madonna” or “Cher”, at least not unless you include their surname), my challenge is, how long a line of celebs can you make in a chain like this, without duplicating any of the names? They can be singers, actors, comedians, musicians, TV hosts, sports people, people from history, dancers on strictly, authors, artists, inventors, The possibilities are endless. (I will admit, my record for this is 366).
Hmmm… Other possible challenges, a game of I-Spy bingo, you have a card with some random things on it, then go on a day trip somewhere, & look for the things on the card, if you get a line you shout bingo, if you find all the things on the card you shout house, maybe make a rule of what you do if you find all the objects, so like, treat yourself to an ice-cream or doughnut.
There is also something called “smart games”, they’re basically like 3D puzzles where you move the pieces to solve them, but there’s like several levels ranging from beginners to master, you could set yourself a challenge of how many levels to complete, (I have seen them an Amazon, in some book or toy stores, & I think in Hobbycraft, but if in doubt, always check online).
How about applying to go on a gameshow,
Burgled suggested learn a language, what about learning hyroglifics, ok, maybe I’m being a little too ambitious now, but as I said, the only limit is your imagination.
@paeony . Yes you should start again in a uke band, it is great fun isn’t it, especially if you play a gig on front of an audience. But if you want to play at home as well, I’d get an acoustic guitar, much more musical!
@tykey i did wonder about trying left handed. At of the groups i went to there was a lady who played left handed. She had simply turned the Uke over without reversing the strings. That might be a new challenge.
I like what you said about guitar too. Lots if foid for thought.
Just tried playing left handed, @paeony . My fingers on my (new) fretting hand, wont do what I want them to do, by a long way. My eyes know, my brain tells them, but they just wont do it. A new batch of muscle memory might be needed 
Great news! I’ve decided what to do for our wedding anniversary in May. There’s always something new!
Anyone want to join me?