Hello @Jolly1,
Thank you for reaching out. I’m so sorry for the loss of your mum. You are not alone. Many of our members describe dreaming about their loved ones. You might find it comforting to read some of their threads, like this one by @Pandaprincess, who has also lost her mum.
It sounds like you’ve been trying so hard to be strong for other people. You deserve care and support, too. 
Please keep reaching out. If you think a space just for you to explore your grief could be helpful, Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: sueryder.org/counselling.
You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.
Take good care,
Seaneen