Does anyone else get really annoyed with others around them who are carrying on their lives around you. I don’t mean it in a negative way for them, and of course they have to but I just find it really difficult to see all this normality going on around me when my whole world has come to a stop. Even silly things like hearing what people are doing at the weekend or seeing people do their shopping etc. I think it comes down to the fact it’s not fair either. We can’t carry on with our lives because our lives have been turned upside down. I really hope someone can relate X
Totally agree. I’m in work on nightshift and all I’ve listened to is colleagues talking about booking holidays away with their wives. I just want to scream.
We hardly ever went shopping together. It was just something that had to be done occasionally with the minimum fuss and as little time as possible spent. We never saw it as a leisure activity so we would usually separate then meet up after. To be honest I feel a bit sad for people who go shopping because they enjoy it. That makes it very easy to pity shoppers rather than envy them.
However I do envy people who are out and about walking as couples in the woods, fields, seashore, moors, etc.
I can’t get annoyed with people getting on with their life. I used to just get on with mine without any thought that I was annoying people or whether they might be grieving so I think it would be a bit hypocritical of me to think others should be different.
I’ve felt a massive loss since my wife died but I would be very surprised if anyone else felt the same level of loss. We were an item for 49 years and married for 44. It has left a large hole in my life and maybe a smaller one in others. I’m trying to be grateful for the life I had and more tolerant of others. We never know what other people’s lives are really like.
Yes totally agree
Hello Chlo and Everyone, I relate to what you are saying Chlo. I react with annoyance, and other times with hurt. When I hear others talking about warm family gatherings, weekends spent sharing fun activities, or even if I overhear someone on the phone laughing and talking with a loved one, it intensifies my grief. I lost my beloved younger sister in May, 2018. She was my best friend, and constant companion in life. Our parents died (Mum only in 2012) so we only had each other. We used to enjoy outings, talking or texting throughout our day, and just sharing our day to day lives. So now that I am alone, it often makes me feel worse to hear of others who still have their loved ones, and often take them for granted. Yes, I do get annoyed when others complain about mundane things; such as when a co-worker asked me how I was doing, then before I said a few words, he abruptly changed the subject to hoping the package he ordered arrives on time. I suppose our reactions are “normal” considering the level of grief we are bearing. I do not begrudge people their pleasure or interests, but like so many on this site, I feel disconnected from them, and the world around me. Seems everything reminds me of what I lost. Thanks for listening, Sister2
I feel the same sometimes, I understand people have to get on with their lives but ours have changed forever. When you see them so happy and looking forward to things it hurts.
hi Chlo i can relate to what you have said i lost my husband 20 january 2019 and i cant function there is no notmal anymore my normal was looking after my husband 24/7 he was terminally ill with motor neurone disease and everywhere i look people are just getting on with things as though mothinga happened but like you by world has stopped completely friends have said it will get easier but ive had to turn round and say i dont want it to get easier he was my life my life ended when he passed he was my best friend my soul mate we talked all the time we have never watched a programme on the telly with out talking through it we were inseparable even when he had been into hospital ive stayed there with him did all his care he wouldnt let anyone else touch him x if you need to chat im here xx jo xx
Yes, It’s the little things that get to me. We never did shopping together as I’m not a keen shopper and just like to race round the supermarkets usually in a foul mood, so my husband would go and have a coffee and we would meet up later. I heard a woman in the supermarket calling her husband telling him to meet her outside. I used to do this, so I was in tears as I walked away. I’m charging my mobile at the moment, don’t know why as no one calls me. I’m not a keen mobile user, only like them for emergencies only, my husband was the only one that called me, we was always chatting to each other when not together. Now the phone is silent. Might as well throw it away.
life is so cruel my husband and myself used to love going into mcdonalds in the morning if an advert comes on i burst out crying ive got a photo at the side of me and i keep talking to him and im just begging him to say something to me everywhere is to quiet i need to hear his voice x funny you should say about a mobile phone i was the only one who rang or text him and i still txt him now just to tell him how much i love him and miss him x
There was never any point ringing my wife on her mobile. She never heard it as it was always at the bottom of her handbag.
If I texted her it would be a week before she realised. So there was no point texting, no point phoning, I would just wait where we agreed to meet until she turned up, usually an hour late as she didn’t seem to understand the concept of time either.
Saying all that, it was still preferable to going shopping with her.
The thing that gets me is when I see couples kissing or holding hands. On the telly or in real life. It makes me so very sad that I can’t do those things. It breaks my heart over and over again. Having a sad day today. Lots of tears. Missing my man.
I’m actually smiling, although I’m having a shit day today. I’ve decided that I can’t throw my mobile away. I never text, think it’s a waste of time, can’t see the point. Takes me hours just to do a line. But after my husband died I looked on my text and there was two from him telling me how much he loved me and thanking me for all I was doing for him, he never sent me text’s usually but these were done just a week or two before he died.,. I will treasure those messages and look at them often. I suppose I’m lucky in a way I can hear his voice as I have CD’s of him singing with his band. My family complain that it’s no good trying to get hold of me on a mobile because it’s, either, rarely on or I haven’t got it with me. They’ve told me to carry it around with me at home, but I forget where I’ve put it and have to ring it with the landline to find it. Yes I feel sad that the cuddles are over. Wish now I hadn’t called him soppy when he was with me.
i know what you mean its very upsetting and soul destroying x stay strong and know that people are here if you need to talk x i had one of those days yesterday opened curtains cried made bed cried had a cup of tea cried like that all day x here if you need me take care chick x
Hi Belladoo, Not a good day for me either although I’ve been doing my usual things for coping, in other words keeping busy. Loaded the car for a trip to the land fill. Had to wait to get in. Then found I was parked a walk away from the area I wanted and had to carry the heavy sacks a distance. Fed up. Went somewhere else and it was pouring with rain and they hadn’t got what I wanted. Got home, worked in the garden but came inside and was tearful so decided to have a ‘chat’ with all of you and I feel brighter now and it’s stopped raining and I can at least go for a walk with the dogs. So thanks.
Reading all your comments with a heavy heart,knowing exactly how you feel,I hug Roy’s clothes a lot in an attempt to be close to him.Love to you all.Corinna xx
hi corrina im sorry to hear about your Roy i stay in the house most of the time as its where i feel safe so everything is around me when i go to bed ive got Darrells pillow that i hold onto all night and if i do manage to drag myself out i take something of his with me even if its a pair of rolled up socks in my bag . i took my son to college this morning on the way back i got a nail in my tyre i just fell to pieces i went hysterical . keep thinking could i have prevented my hisbands dwath did i miss something is it my fault i couldnt save him and all this is going around my head i was so dissapointed that i woke up this morning i really wanted Darrell to get me in the night so i could be with him x
I know how you feel,this is the toughest struggle of our lives isn’t it.I feel closest to Roy when i’m at home too,and try to avoid going out unless it’s essential.The wheel fell off my wheelbarrow this morning and I had to muck out my stable,so had to fix it,which involved going through Roy’s tools,it was heartbreaking but I did it and hope he would be proud of me.I have bought the plot next to Roy’s grave and wish I was there now lying beside him,so I understand what you mean,but do not beat yourself up about not doing more for your husband,I have read your other posts and it sounds like you couldn’t possibly have done more.Take care,much love xx
Corinna im sure Roy would of felt very proud of you for fixing that wheel but if it falls off you might hear him laughing x take care love to you xx
Thankyou!for making me smile,and yes you’re right he will p*** himself if it falls off xx