Ooh, good idea. I have got some half finished knitting somewhere.
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It might help, it gives you something to do.
Its strange I’ve been wishing so hard to dream of my husband, but thats not happening , but last night I dreamed of my knitting!!
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Mine has only visited once in my dreams. He snuggled in like he used to and said he had come with a message. I don’t know what the message was. I don’t usually remember dreams.
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Maybe the message will come later. Oh how I wish I could dream of him, I miss him so much. I went for a long walk today along by the sea, but then I ended up in tears because he wasn’t with me. Does this ever get easier? I feel really down again today
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I don’t know. I hope so. I wasn’t thinking about him when he suddenly ‘appeared’ in my dream. I’m up and down too. Had a couple of down days this week. Absolutely anything can spark tears.
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Yes thats me. Trying so hard not to, and then oomph I’m off
You didnt say how long since you lost him.
Not that that seems to matter. I suppose I’ve got to do what people keep saying and just go with it, and not be so hard on myself and not to expect too much.
Oh its so so hard, I sometimes wonder if I’ll ever improve.
Sorry for whingeing, as I said, bad day
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Feel the same, I’ve pushed myself to go out for a drive or a walk or cycle, it is hard even going out it somehow feels wrong. But when I come home I feel my wife is there so I speak her name and tell her how much I love her and how much I miss her. I retired but my work has taken me back part time just two days a week it helps having others to speak to but that lonely feeling never leaves. I can be surrounded by people and still feel completely alone. I hope you find some kind of peace.
Ged
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Another long day and another night just me and the dog… spent most of my village walk in tears… have we really got a life feeling this way… what’s the point in it all 
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So its not just me walking along crying my eyes out. On the whole I dont think people notice, too wrapped up in their own lives. I was probably the same before. Before this nightmare began. Its 7 1/2 weeks now since he left me, should i still be crying so much? But I miss him so much I can’t help it
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Sometimes I wish someone
Would say are you okay? and put there arm around me… it’s been 8 months since my partner of 33 years died in his sleep and I found him… i went to the dentist yesterday and broke down outside I almost didn’t go in… as we went together the week before he died I insisted he saw the hygienist… he came out with a smile proud to show me his teeth were all clean I think I blamed myself thinking his clean has set off his heart disease… sorry for
Your loss also
@Ilovehorses
Oh to feel his arms around me again, telling me everything will be ok. To hear his voice. Anything. We had 42 years together and I dont think I’ll ever get used to life without him.
To find your husband must have been indescribably hard. At least we knew, for 6 weeks, but I don’t think it made it any easier.
I cry so easily, the littlest things set me off
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It’s something you never forget… I got up to go to
The loo at 6am I couldn’t hear him
Snoring so I opened his bedroom door he looked so peaceful hands under his head… he was driving to London that
Morning so I whispered I won’t
Wake you… and went back to bed woke again at
7.30 went downstairs to
Make our tea we always sat in bed together in the morning chatting for a
Few hours… he looked exactly the same as he did at 6 I went to
Kiss him and the side of his face was blue and cold … I knew he had gone I just didn’t want to believe it… we each have our own horrific experiences to
Deal with… I hate my life now not sure
I even want to carry
On even though I have my son daughter and a grandson
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@Ilovehorses
Oh that was so so awful for you. I can understand you’re devastated. I too feel like I dont want to carry on, but like you I have a son and daughter and 5 Granddaughters, and step children and step Grandchildren too. So for them I must carry on. And for Roger , I promised him I’d be ok, thats what will get me through. But its going to be tough and take a long long time
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So sorry for you loss it do heartbreaking 
i too experienced a terrible ending with my husband after 40 years together Just arrived for Christmas holiday and hrs later he ws away after us going to sleep talking about getting up early to do Christmas shopping ( 23rd December) we only arrived 22nd He ws making strang noise which woke me up then i couldn’t waken him and after running and asking so to help me he passed in front of us so quickly Its so terrible trying to get uour head round everything trying to get him home from spain arranging funeral and now 4 months later its so unreal Honestly can’t understand anything now and don’t want to be here Now even family saying we should be feeling better and honesty don’t want to even see anyone or go anywhere I ws with my husband since 15 and feel do lost and broken can’t think of my life without him We are all living this so empty journey now
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Sorry for spelling mistakes im just crying so much
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Oh Mia121 what a terrible thing you had to go through. As devastating as my experience has been at least I didnt have to get him home from adroad. We did know, for 6 weeks, but it still hit like a ton of bricks when he died.
Your grief is still new, 4 months after 40 years is nothing so you must grieve as you need to. I’m 8 weeks in after 42 years and I too am broken and lost.
Keep posting here, we are all here for the same reason, and we’ll all support each other
Take care
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Thankyou Liro for your reply Although im so sad its my son also who seen passing of his dad and even being a adult he should never have had to experience this So glad he decided to come on holiday with us for Christmas as i would have been lost ( it ws our holiday apartment) and we we’re planning to move their after receiving our visas just believe it on Monday before we travelled on the Friday Husband ws so happy thinking about our futures and new life Now everything in limbo and we’ve still to go back and decide whats to be done with it
Also then son had birthday 28th December Everything in this story a nightmare going to open a bottle of wine now after talking about this
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Youve had a dreadful time, i feel for you. Please take any help and support from your son that you can. We are all with you in this nightmare and you can contact me any time
Enjoy your wine
Thankyou So much for being thete God Bless you too Although truthfully my thinking just now doesn’t give me much comfort You look after yourself