Hi love,
I woke this morning feeling a bit brighter,had a coffee and started some cleaning,only when I was in the kitchen wiping down I realised no one had sat and had a tea/coffee with me for over three weeks,there’s been the odd pop in nothing else,why am I bothering.
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Hey Ron.
Glad you got up a feeling a bit better today.
It can be so lonely on your own.
Have you plans to get out at all today ?
I’m going to walk my dog and then return to the volunteer garden where I go once a week. Haven’t been for a while because of school holidays but am going to force myself as it does make me feel better.
The suns shining here which always helps.
Could you invite someone over for a cuppa or plan to meet folk later in the week.
I find it hard to do that but am going to try make more of an effort.
Hope your day gets a bit better
Sending some love and strength xx
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Morning Ron,
Like you, I have been cracking on doing things, but I don’t want to and I feel so sad. I’ve not been out anywhere were people know me, I avoid this like the plague. I can’t bare anyone outside of my home to mention anything or ask about the case. Besides the fact that I have no answers, i don’t want people knowing my business and to be talking about my family.
My youngest brother has been a god send with everything that had to be arranged straight after. I couldn’t function at all, I didn’t answer any calls, or arrange The Celebration of My Dave’s life. (It wasn’t real) Once arranged with dates I chose all of the photos and music and his attire but the least communication with the outside world, the better. My brother returned to work after 2 weeks and he checks in by phone everyday and visits when he can. My neighbours nextdoor are beautiful and became friends during covid and they want to be there for us, but they are only just celebrating 2 years of being married and their wedding anniversary is just 2 days after ours and they have a 7 year old daughter so I’ll not put myself on them.
I went to see Dave in the bereavement suite 5 days after he was killed after the post mortem. I don’t remember much. I went the chapel of rest the day of the cremation to bring him home for the last time in the hearse, then travelled with him on our last ride to the crem, again, I remember doing it, but it’s a blur, like a blip in the matrix. My beautiful friend from Dumfries travelled down by train the day before to be with me and she stayed in a hotel the night before but stayed with us that night, that meant so much.
Our youngest daughter is self employed, she is a nail technician and aesthetics practitioner set up at our home, so she has not had outside pressure from an employer thankfully. Our son returned to work the Monday after the celebration, he didn’t have much of a choice and he was not ready but hes doing okay.
Our lives have changed so much, as you say, our stability, our future plans, now it’s just us (singular) I hate that. My daughter has also began to make plans, which is very scary for me, but I’m not selfish, I know it has to happen.
I suppose, we will find a new normal, we have to. But wow 
Sending all my love and hugs Ron, we can do this xx
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Thank you.
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Hi Roni,
Sadly dont think my days getting better,
Yesterday (by txt) my daughter suggested I take the whole family to centre parcs for new year costing about £10k,
None of them have been down for a chat for over three weeks,
I txt back don’t think so not my scene,
I got back don’t bother then,
Bearing in mind my daughter,two grown grandsons,granddaughter and partner plus my brother all live around two miles away in the same village.
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This is all so horribly hard and unfair
Sending you a huge hug.
Rose xx
I am so sorry Ron.
That is unbelievable.
Big hug xx
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You are absolutely right, there is so much related to losing our husbands.
So many people don’t get that.
To be honest before my husband passed I did not think of the other losses.
I mainly take it a day at a time.
I do what works for me and I know it is not right for others.
Actually, when my husband was alive we were not really planners,
we just went with the flow. So I suppose it is my usual way now.
I used to worry about everything earlier in life and plan for every possibility .
However, my husband was so laid back, over our 49 years together it helped me
worry and plan less.
Sending you a big hug.
Love,
Rose xx
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Thank you Rose.
The one consolation I hold dear is at my age I am hurtling towards a reunion with my wife.
Take care and a very big hug back.
Ron.
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Sending love, it’s so unfair xx
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Oh I’m so sorry Ron. Family can be so crappy can’t they.
My family are really unsupportive too. Only one sister ( out of 3 ) came to visit my husband in the hospice dying. They all live less than an hour away and all have cars.
I told my sister that I was upset they weren’t more supportive so she stopped speaking to me ! Her daughter lives in the same town as me and I bumped into them in a cafe and she completely ignored me. My niece and brother in law spoke but she pretended I wasn’t there. That was so hurtful.
My mum just tells me it never gets any better, asks when do I go back to work, and says at least I have a nice house - as if I care about that !
I feel completely abandoned by them but I am just trying to accept that is how it is. It hurts like hell, but I will make sure that I am always there for my kids, no matter what.
I’m trying to make new connections now - it’s really hard but I don’t want to be like them - avoidant, selfish and only interested in what they can get from you.
Do you have any connections with other groups / people ?
I have found that the least likely people often give the most support.
Hope your day gets better.
I’m sitting in th Sun listening to the bagpipes that someone is playing somewhere, having just had my porridge ! 
How very Scottish of me
Sending love and a huge hug. Xx
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Hi Roni thank you.
Nothing wrong with Scottish,my wife and I had many happy holidays up there,
No sadly no other groups to associate with,my neighbours are ok but not close,
When I was young my mum used to have pretty much an open house so I became the opposite,
I guess this my lot now until the big man calls,guess I will have to get used to it.
Sending love and big hugs back.
Ron.
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Hey Ron.
How’s your morning looking today ?
I’ve woken up feeling crappy but am going to get up and have a cuppa and get my kids off to work and school.
I’ve nothing on today and will be in the house alone until later which is unusual for me.
I have a plan to start some Sadmin or go to the gym but I might just mope.
Hope the sun is shining where you are.
What have you planned for today ?
Sending a big hug xx
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Hi Roni
Bit overcast here,nothing much planned for today (as usual) just a short trip to stock up on M&S ready meals,a trip to Loch Fyne for some scallops would cheer me up though lol,I hope you have best day you can.
Love and hugs Ron.
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Morning Family are selfish and totally lack empathy, its just over 8 weeks since i lost my husband . I have been told this is my new life and i have to get use to it. I have seen my son twice my elder brother once my younger brother twice. My sister an hanful of times. My daughter maybe once twice a week when she drops my grandaughter off for me to babysit. Lonely isnt it. Xxx
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