Trying to stay strong is essential but it is hard, I find, like you, I have to try to rely on myself as that will be the future. People have been very kind but that’s all fallen away now… I think they think I’m fine…but I’m not…just good at putting on a brave face in public. I know this is stupid but I’m dreading Christmas. I never thought I’d be left to live [possibly] so long alone and that I’d have to make a new life… it feels like a very hard thing to do😢
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@Lins . I so understand. Christmas is months away and really is just another day, but today my daughter and i said how will we cope with Christmas. We’ve had my husbands birthday, our 47th wedding anniversary and today father’s day - all in June. It’s been an emotional roller coaster. Everyone says im doing well - I’m not.
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I so relate to everything,my wonderful loving caring husband passed away three weeks ago and i still have the cremation to come ,i too had our wedding anniversary on the 8th june we would have been married 49yrs, i know Christmas is a long way yet but its my birthday on boxing day and i am dreading not only Christmas morning waking up with him not there but my birthday also not to have a hug on those special days fill me with a sadness i can’t describe we have been together since i was 17yrs old i am 66 now and my darling husband was 72 i am grateful for the years we had but am sad for the time we no longer have i was looking forward to are twilight years which have now been snatched away is all i look forward to now is the complete knowledge and faith in god that we will be together oneday for eternity and that is how i am coping at the moment sending love to all 
x
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I don’t have your faith but I do hope I will see him again. His ashes are scattered in his beloved garden that he created over 23 years, in his retirement and I now look after it…I feel near to him here and in the garden …but it doesn’t take away the intense physical pain and grief. We always knew the age difference was going to be difficult as he got older, but he was so young at heart and fit that I hoped he’d live until I was much much older and I could just bide my time. The thought of years of living like this fills me with fear and I don’t want to start again. Grief is the price we pay for love
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I so agree with all you have said i will be alone now as there will never be another to come close to my husband in anyway love does transend the heavens and that’s where my heart will be xx
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Hi.I know exactly how you feel.Its four year’s on since i lost my lovely husband and there are place’s i still can’t face going back to.Such as St Ives in Cornwall where we spent quite a few really happy holiday’s. I will pluck up courage one day. Grief is so hard.Its a journey that you will get through.But hold on to those wonderful memories?x
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I know how you feel. there are shops I avoid because I went with my husband shopping there. I also doubt very much that I will ever return to Norfolk, especially Norwich, Dereham, Great Yarmouth, and Litcham - we were so happy there. Especially in our little rented cottage in Litcham, he was always so relaxed as soon we arrived. Happy times - are now gone forever. So happy memories - curses and blessings at the same time. Sending you lots of love and hugs.
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I don’t think I could go anywhere we have been on holiday together at least not yet. But I do find I’m able to go to some shops or cafes or look at photos although I still get weepy. I’m taking this as a positive step because at first I couldn’t even look at photos of my husband without having a complete meltdown. It’s nearly 12 weeks for me and I am still really struggling but any progress has to be a positive. Hopefully this might give a glimmer of hope to anyone who is in the very early days of grief. Take care.
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Yes we spent a lot of time in Suffolk/Norfolk as my sister lives there.Happy times,happy day’s. I also find Sunday’s very difficult if im not doing anything. I done know if you have any pet’s?But i got a rescue cat after my husband died. His gorgeous and another soul to take care of.
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Lovely cat. I would like to have a pet but it might even be that I have to go back to work. I am just being told that I only get a widow pension when I turn 66 ( I am 62, in August 63). My husband was 65 when he died. That is another blow. Thank God, we paid off the mortgage. The nightmare continues. Sending you lots of love and hugs and an extra hug for your lovely cat.
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Hello everyone, I’m so grateful for you comments and what is happening to you. I have a little cat called Kya [a rescue cat who had been used for breeding ] my husband adored cats and his cat, Charlie died at beginning of lockdown]. He loved Kya and although she was very scared of men…she liked him.
. She has been my little saviour.I know I’m fortunate not to have financial concerns and because he’d had Dementia for a few years [but still very much himself and able to carry on until his balance went] I had power of attorney and everything was sorted out a long time ago and I’m almost 70. I’m just not coping without him, each week has become increasingly difficult and I find myself obsessed with photos and videos of him and letters from our early days… I’m reliving our whole 50 years together and it brings me to tears every single day…sometimes I feel I can’t carry on and sometimes I feel the pain and distress is just too much. I know this is probably normal but it is incredibly painful.
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I am just starting to visit one or two good friends and have lunch out. Today we went to a restaurant where my husband and I went a lot over many years. I was so angry [once I left] that the owners who knew him well and were speaking to me, never once asked about him…I was incredibly hurt…won’t go back anytime soon.
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I’m retired now .My husband was 67 when he died and had just retired. We planned to enjoy our retirement together?We had just had our 40th wedding anniversary and the family had gone together and treated us to cruise down the river to Amsterdam. Which we were so looking forward to. I was all packed togo .Then he died.Life is so cruel ? x
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Hi Lins. Yes im 69 on Saturday. 70 next year. We should be with our husbands in our retirement? Glad you have a cat to keep you company.Its just another little soul in the house? I’m so sorry to hear your husband had Dementia. Such a cruel disease. Its good to come on here and talk to like minded people.x
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We went on a river cruise for our honeymoon (2007) from Switzerland (I think it started in Zurich) to Amsterdam. It was lovely. I always wanted to go to the Keukenhof and Monet’s garden with him but no chance that I will ever do it on my own. I do not want to travel anymore at all. I do not enjoy reading or listening to the music anymore. I just lost interest in life as such. I am just existing. Sending lots of love and hugs.
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I too got a rescue cat, well actually 2 one of whom is virtually the spitting image of yours. They can be annoying at times and I think that I’m gradually turning into a “mad cat lady” but at least I have someone to talk to now plus the house doesn’t feel as empty.
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Hi everyone can i ask a question on the subject of cats .My partner died 10 weeks ago we didnt live together .His son lived with him so im at my partner s house looking after my partner s cat who is 18 and sleeps most of the time .Is not very active at all and i think.hes depressed .His son has asked me if il have him has he has to work in london .Dillema im having is ive got my own cat she is 13 years old .Do you think they would accept each other or would it be so stressfull .He has already lost my partner and seems to be missing him hes been in that house for 18 years seems cruel tbh and i just dont know what to do for the best .im griefing very badly for my partner been here is so traumatic all the memories here and his clothes all hung up ive cried for 3 days and my head is so messed up .Can anyone offer any advise pls xxx
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Awe!you sound very down.Please don’t be. I have to give myself a good talking to sometimes. I think about how lucky i am compared to other’s. I suppose i am lucky in that i have two wonderful son’s who are so like thier Dad in every way.And four grandchildren. The eldest is 18 and the youngest is 3 and i look after him twice a week. He starts full time nursery in September. I shall really miss him. But will see them weekends and holiday’s. Take care.x
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Awe i don’t really know what to say. Cat’s are funny creature’s and don’t aways get along?
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Hi.Like i said it’s like having another soul in the house. Pedro ( that’s my cat) is company . Having a puss cat has really helped me through my grief. He seems to know when i have a low day.x
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