Dear Angiesuggs, Thank you for your kind words. I am on my own and cannot have any pets. There is no one who asks me to go out for a coffee or so. If I hint to the neighbours about shopping they (surprise ) are very busy or do not go in that direction etc. so I stopped asking. I am doing more online shopping now, especially for the heavy stuff (milk, juice etc.) For other things, I am taking public transport even when I have to go twice a week to Grays. I do not enjoy going on my own and knowing there is on return nobody waiting for me but that is my existence now. I am glad that you have support from your work colleagues. My husbandâs colleagues were at his funeral and promised the world but the support dwindled very quickly. I still have his work laptop in our living room ready to be picked up but when I asked to send someone over (one of his colleagues lives nearby) I am not even getting any answer from them. If my husband knew how they treat me he would be very unhappy about it. They did not even get in contact with me to email photos from the memorial bench they put up in his name on the spot where he cooked for the yearly work BBQ. Only by chance, I found out and a colleague kindly emailed the photos to me.
I am 62 and was for the last few years a housewife, my husband was 65 as he died in February this year. We were about 26 years together, 15 years and two months married. I am missing him every second and carrying on without him is hard. Sending lots of love and hugs.
Hi Jeanette, 
It is 10 weeks today since my husband died. Iâm working hard in his garden and itâs the first Friday I havenât been totally miserableâŚa little sign of hope. Iâve also noticed, even very good friends donât check in as much and it is left to me to ask to go out for a coffee or lunch⌠I think they are fed up of hearing how much I miss my husbandâŚâŚ. They just canât understand the physical loss and the real heart break it brings. I talk to him all the time and tell him what Iâm doing, I just miss him so ,so muchâŚ.it is good to know Iâm not alone and to read all your messages. Iâm just so fed up of trying to keep busy, I want to relax and feel at peace with myself and my thoughtsâŚI think thatâs far away. 
Hi Lins - itâs so strange isnât it that friends and family donât understand grief! It doesnât move in a linear way from unbearable to better. I find it changes from day to day and sometimes from hour to hour. But change it does and is different for everyone. I am nearly 8 months on and miss my dear hubby every day, but thankfully I have some friends who do understand and donât mind me going over memories. There are quite a few helplines that will also offer an understanding chat. It helps to get it out! Try to find a little moment of joy every day whether itâs reading a good book, a favourite tele programme, a walk in a green space or indulging in a favourite meal or drink!
Sending love x
Hi Jaipur, thank you for your words of wisdom. I have a special bench in the garden where I go to think and to remember lovely things we did or just to remember how special our relationship wasâŚweâd probably all say that too. I have a beautiful photo book I made for his daughter and one for me, trying to include something from every year since 1974 and it just amazes me everything we did together and above all we were such good friends, spouses and loversâŚâŚit does make me miss him a lot but it also reminds me to keep thinking positive thoughtsâŚwhen I can. Today was a good day 
Hi Sandra.How are you today?x
I am so sorry to hear how bad you are feeling. I lost my husband on 15th Feb 2022 and i still cry as though I am never going to stop.
I can go days and be fine and then something happens and i just canât stop.
I am lucky, I still have one of my sons in the house. I try very hard not to let him hear me crying. Even though he is 26 I donât want him thinking he canât leave me. I want him to be able to go on with his life but i know when he does go i will be so lonely.
I have friends but i donât want them getting fed up with me because it has gone on for so long but i donât think they or anyone truly understands until they lose their soul mate, the person they love so unconditionally and who loved them back that same way.
I hope we all reach a stage where we can stop thinking about them 24/7 and remember them throughout the day without dissolving into uncontrollable sobs but i fear that is a long way off.
I hope we all find some peace soon. Xx
Hi @ritchie my husband died February last year and I still cry. I live alone and find the loneliness unbearable but I have to get on with it. I have no choice. I miss my lovely man so much and I think it will be a long time before I can think of him and not get upset. I also wish everyone going through this peace at some point along their journey. Love to all.x
Hi Anna,
Hold in there. My husband died exactly 40yrs to the day we met and I know exactÄşy what you mean.
I do not sleep very well and when I do close my eyes I think maybe tonight I get to join you my love. I wake up and I think what is the point?
It is hard but you do start to adjust and little by little you do get a bit of routine back.
It has been 17 months for me now and I still cry at night or when my sons speak of him. I have 2 sons one is 32 and the other is 26. The youngest does still stay with me but between work and his going out we rarely speak but I know I am lucky he is still here.
I donât talk about things with work colleagues as I am a home worker.
Like me you have to hold on for family and or friends. They still love and need you, they are what keeps me going. I donât want them to suffer more because I couldnât live anymore.
Be brave, you have the people here to listen to you. Pour out your feelings and let us try to comfort you in any way we can. It wont be enough but at least we will all feel we are going through it together.
I will keep you in my prayers.
Sending you loving hugs and prayers for happier times to come.xxx
@ritchie my husband died suddenly and unexpectedly 7 months ago at Christmas. He was 53 years old. Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary in Sorrento. My son who is 23 lives with me but plans to rent with his friend from October. He has been my rock. If my husband was still here we would be having a party as at last we would of been alone together. There has always been 3 of us. Now 2 then just me. I have given my son my blessing but just wished that my husband was here so we can spend the future together on our own. Life is so unfair and cruel. We have been robbed of our future plans and dreams.
Big hugs xx
Knowhow you feel my husband was 58 and feel no future we like you had some many plans itâs so cruel got 2 great sons and wonderful daughter in laws and 4 lovely grandchildren it breaks my heart my husband wonât get to see the adults they become take care Xx