Same here,I even feel anxious meeting up with old friends and neighbours.I don’t want anyone to notice that I’m anxious about everyday activities,not only that the symptoms are so unpleasant.We were together for 39years and we had a lovely simple life and a group of close friends.I now don’t feel able to even see them,I just want to hide away.
I hope everyone who suffers these emotions after a heart breaking loss finds a way through it so at least you won’t feel so alone.x
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I will do Barbara,it seems a lot of anxiety sufferers gain some relief from an Antidepressant.I have taken Citalopram for a few months and it doesn’t seem to help at all.I wasn’t depressed when I first started taking it,just grieving.The anxiety issue is dreadful so as so many of you seem to get some relief from other Antidepressants I’ll speak to my Doctor,fingers crossed something might help.x
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@Flossy3 how I can relate to what you saying. Been back at work for 12 months. Still have no drive, enthusiasm or motivation, just want the day to end and get home. People at work do expect me to be ok now, well it has been over a year they are thinking, might not say it but you can see it in their eyes.
Take care X X
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Oh nicnic,
My heart goes out to you especially as your family aren’t really able to support you.You sound so young to be going through this,believe me I understand how you feel.
I am 64 now but I was 22 when my mum died suddenly.I didn’t live at home at the time and just went to see my mum and make an evening meal for her and my dad.
I arrived first and Mum came home from her work as a teacher.
She had what we thought was a Migraine but 10minutes late she suffered a massive brain haemorrhage and dropped dead.
My Dad went to pieces and it seemed I was left alone to carry the burden of everything.Just a few months later my Dad remarried a friend of my Mum’s and stayed out of my life for 30years.
I have just lost my partner of 39years and anxiety is holding me back terribly.
If you think I could help you in any way picnic you are welcome to send me a private message.
Take care.x
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@Pushkin28 - I’m happier at home and have to make myself go out and meet people. Putting on a brave face is exhausting though and I’m usually so relieved to be home.
Home is quiet and empty but I’m more used to that now.
Keep trying to get out to meet others - the more you put it off the harder it becomes to face it.
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@Debbie57 - people who expect you to be ok haven’t lost how we have. They don’t mean to be that way. I think maybe I used to think the same myself but now I’m in this situation and “in the know” I realise I was being ridiculous. I don’t think we’ll ever recover but hopefully the pain will ease as time passes. The knot in my chest is hopefully not a permanent thing but maybe it is?
It hopefully helps that we can support each other and know that others understand and feel the same way.
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My sister in law whose husband died 36 years ago, told me it never goes away, always deep down inside the memories. I think you can only know and understand when you have experienced it. 
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I hope that you get good support from your GP and talking about your anxiety will help. Your grief is real and nobody tells that anxiety will be a major part of the process . But we shouldn’t be suprised really our very being has been turned upside dowm and we have to pick up the pieces of our lives and make a future alone. Grief is the price we pay for loving and being loved in return and that surely gives us solace
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Hi @Pushkin28
I’m not particularly young. I’m 41 now. I was a late starter in life I suppose. Nether the less this is all still hard. My mum was my support through the last 2 years as my sister and I were hers. She was always there to listen and now things have got worse and I don’t have her to comfort or talk to. I miss her wholly.
I’m sorry to read about your mum and you having to go through that at a young age. I’m also sorry to hear about your partner.
Nic x
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It’s good that we have the forum and can share how we feel. I felt alone with my anxiety but now I see lots of people are suffering. I take Sertraline but I too find when I wake up the anxiety is worse. Also at night. I take sleeping tablets. A low dose but otherwise I would not sleep. I get throat spasm due to the anxiety and it prevents sleep. Has anyone else experienced this x
I am glad that I am not alone in feeling anxiety. I find it very difficult to explain it to those around me who often don’t seem to understand how loss of a loved one affects you.
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I agree Shirley,plus Malcolm’s death was very sudden and down to medical negligence so I suppose it is normal for me to suffer with anxiety…I am going to see my GP because grief without the anxiety is bad enough but at the moment I can hardly function…anyone who suffers this and is grieving must be really struggling…I know I am and I used to be quite confident.x
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Hi Nic,
You are young,you are only 41,your parents divorced and I get the feeling your Dad isn’t very understanding.Your partner has left you with two children and your younger sister needs your support.
You have a lot on your plate Nic.I have no doubt you are suffering terribly and I’m 64,old enough to be your Mum.
I really do understand how you must feel.
I also used to be a teacher and I know how badly families can be affected by all these issues.I should imagine you are trying to be the strong one in this situation but you and your sister and the children need to support each other and ask for help from your GP.and children’s services and school if they are of school age.
Take care Nic,keep in touch if you wish.xx
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Goodness Flossy,we seem so alike…I know you are right.I must make more effort otherwise I’m going to end up with a full blown phobia
I feel safe at home and like you I have got used to the quiet and feeling of security.I find the outside world a bit scary and see couples everywhere and I just feel alone.x
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Hiya,
I know I’m not alone with anxiety issue but I find it so embarrassing if I’m shaky and behaving as though I am a wreck.I just want the ground to swallow me up.x
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Hi there,
Thank you for your reply. Anxiety is so debilitating and I am so sorry that it has got such a grip on you. There is nothing to be embarrassed about, it effects so many people for lots of reasons. And yours is one heck of a reason! I can totally understand you wanting to be at home where you feel safe and secure and you can hide how you are really feeling. It’s incredibly difficult putting on a ‘brave’ face to the outside world, who really can’t understand how we are really feeling, and it’s exhausting. We are a nation of ‘stiff upper lip’ and i do understand that we find it hard to let our guard down and show people our vulnerability. It’s easier to hide. I really hope that you find a medication that helps your symptoms, and this will hopefully make you feel more comfortable meeting up with friends.
Take care
Amanda x
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@Pushkin28 - don’t put too much pressure on yourself. We’re both in early stages of this grief and each day is a battle one way or another and you’re right there are lots of similarities between us and the way we are feeling.
Look after yourself x
Hi Nel,
I get nervous spasms in my throat and find it hard to swallow.My neck and shoulders are so tense so it’s hard to get to sleep and stay asleep.x
Thank you for message Amanda,I really appreciate it.I’m tired of putting on a front of having to explain the reasons why I feel anxious and overwhelmed.x
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You look after yourself too Flossy,keep in touch if I wish.x
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