It’s tough but you have taken the 1st step by reaching out and saying it as it is . That takes courage and confidence
My partner died at home after a long battle with Cancer but I can relate to how you lost your husband. My husband death 17 years ago was sudden and the shock that followed was overwhelming it took time before I could pick up the pieces of my life and to be confident again but I did it for his memory and sons and grandchildren . I made a life for myself met a special man but there is part of my heart that still belongs to my husband. I see that as hard as it is today I am lucky to be loved by two good men. So don’t give up baby steps putting one foot in front of the other gets you through each day.
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Thank you Pushkin. I thought I was on my own with this. I feel really scared sometimes as it stops me going to sleep. I have to take sleeping tablets x
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You are definitely not alone Nel. My anxiety has improved with my tablets but it’s still there at times. It also gets me at night and stops me going to sleep sometimes. If it happens I put the light back on and read more of my book until I feel sleepy.
I had it a bit going to the supermarket today which hasn’t happened for a couple of weeks.
I can’t remember a time when I didn’t have that anxious feeling in my stomach at some point in the day.
Let’s hope time is really a great healer for our anxiety.
Take care xx
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It’s certainly tough Shirley,it’s going to be a while before I can put myself together again.The awful thing is his death wasn’t due to natural causes,it’s all down to medical negligence.He was treated for a serious health condition and in Post mortem it was found to a wrong diagnosis and I still don’t know the cause of death though he was given medication which is thought to have caused death.
It’s all in the hands of the Coroner…it’s so hard to hold myself together and we didn’t have children.So I feel completely alone.x
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Hello Mel and Barbara,
Sounds as though we are similar in the way anxiety affects us.
I’m going to see my GP about trying an Antidepressant which is also supposed to help with anxiety.I asked if I could have a few sleeping tablets but was refused because they are addictive and I was also told I should follow a bedtime regime.That’s a bit tricky for me due to physical health problems.
I don’t mind not sleeping to well but I find the daytime anxiety awful so I hope I might be prescribed a different Antidepressant that will help.x
Anxiety, depression & grief are my constant companions. Every day feels like a fortnight. Next week marks 6 months since I lost my beloved hubby. Life has no purpose without him
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Hello Dottyfin,
I don’t have anything to add to what you have just said.I feel exactly the same,though for me it has been three months.
I don’t see it changing…x
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It’s been twelve months on Sunday for me and I don’t feel any less lonely or anxious and sad. It’s like yesterday. In fact I don’t know how I have got through a year x
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That’s the awful thing about it Nel.knowing our lives have been completely changed forever.I often wonder how I have got through three months let alone a lifetime.x
I lost my wife end of 2019 I still suffer there are triggers such as Birthdays, wedding anniversary and also the day they passed away there are always reminders you just have to prepare yourself for these thing. For me since losing my wife life has been hard 6mths after she passed I was diagnosed with cancer so I have had all that to deal with and covid. I get comfort from her not having to cope with my cancer and get pleasure knowing it won’t be to long till I am back with her I won’t do anything to accelerate this process as I have our 2 dogs to care for I promised her I would look after the boys. I have my granddaughter’s wedding coming soon And I know my wife would have wanted to be there so there’s another trigger. I don’t think there is any way to reduce the grief we just have to endure it.
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Although I am sleeping better and no longer pacing the house through the night . I wake up and anxiety kicks in and I can’t settle and it’s too early to start the day. Do others feel this way and if so how do you cope and deal with those feelings,?
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It’s too early to get up so I put Woodoku on my phone and try to concentrate on that. I think the anxiety is worse in the morning and the end of the day. It comes in the pit of my stomach and won’t go unless I am cleaning or distracting x
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I feel just like that Shirley,my sleeping patterns are all over the place but I know I get enough sleep.
As soon as I wake up the anxiety starts,my heart is thumping,I have a feeling of dread and I feel physically sick.I have been like this everyday since Malcolm died three months ago.
It’s been the worst loss I have ever endured and the thought of life without him is appalling.
I just wish I could stop this awful anxiety though it would make life easier to cope with,I even feel panicky walking to the local shop.
I’m trying guided meditation and breathing techniques which help very briefly.I’m afraid I don’t really have any advice to give . Shirley but I really do understand how you feel.x
Same here Nel,I try to distract myself but I have also developed social phobia.I live alone now and if the doorbell goes my heart is pounding.
I even find it difficult seeing friends or family.It’s bad enough living without our “other half” but dealing with severe anxiety and grief feels impossible to me.x
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Hi all, it’s such a relief to hear that others are suffering from anxiety, I thought it was only me. My beloved died two years ago and I seem worse now than I was last year, everything seems very challenging, I have 2 children but they aren’t very supportive so although I have a number of friends I feel very alone x
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Welcome Merrill I didn’t have time to grieve after my wife because 6mths after she passed I got my cancer diagnosis so for first year I was backwards and forwards to hospital having chemo and radiotherapy but when that finished and I was alone with just my 2 dogs for company. I have a step-son who says if I need anything he’s there but I don’t think he believes what I’m going through. I am left with bladder weekness so I don’t feel comfortable being out. Before this I had never had a days serious sickness in 68yrs. I now feel I’m sitting just waiting for our dogs to pass away then I will be free to be with my wife. I don’t want to live with this cancer it’s controling my life. I would like to be able to go to the pub on a Sunday lunch time but I can’t because of my bladder problems. I was restricted whilst my wife was alive because I became her carer I don’t begrudge her this I was with her and that meant the world to me. It feels like I’m being punished for retiring. Because it was just after retirement that I got my diagnosis. I have no religion and am a non believer. If there was this superior being he would not have this suffering illness, those people in Ukraine. What keeps me going is my 2 dogs playing my guitars which I have started since my wife passed and working on my car in summer. I don’t drive much the car is more of another distraction. Because I find all these things help me with my grief.
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It’s been a year next week since I lost my dad. My anxiety seems to come in waves and depending on how I’m feeling depends on how I seem to cope. I think that throughout the year it’s just felt like a rollercoaster ride. Sometimes it’s the daytime when it kicks in and I struggle to shake of the stomach churning and then other times it’s the night time when it’s difficult to settle. I’ve worked over the year though to improve how I’ve dealt with it, I was late to seek counselling but this did help and I know that I need to continue talking about my feelings rather than holding them all in. Being a part of this forum makes you realise that you are just experiencing grief and loss and that it’s “normal” to feel the way you do and that good days and bad days will always happen. 
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Hi Merril, welcome, so sorry for your loss, I’m just over the year since my husband died.
Even though I do have supportive family and friends, it is the times I’m at home on my own I am lonely. Home is my sanctuary and my safe place but also can be a very lonely place to be.
Yesterday I was okay in the morning but by evening was total reck, hadn’t seen anyone all day, couldn’t sleep. I did ask God please take me to be with Doug I can’t do this anymore. But then I thought of our children are suffering with losing their dad, if I went now they would be devesated and I couldn’t do that to them. Well I’m still here this morning, God obviously has different plans for me.
Oscar mentioned Retirement, I still work, I often feel I’m being punished for not taking early retirement so Doug and I could have spent more time together before he died.
But, today is another day, I’ve been to church this morning and feel more positive and renewed, but who knows what tomorrow will be like, we can only take one day at a time.
Take care all. Debbie X
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My wife and I packed a lot in our lives we started in London my wife was a Lancaster lass moving to London then to West Wales then here in Northampton we then moved to Spain moving back to Northampton 12yrs ago due to my wife’s failing health. We had a touring caravan and was always away somewhere in fact the week before she passed we was away the caravan was our happy place.
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Hi Oscar
So pleased you had a happy place to remember her and look back on the happy times. I hope your cancer treatment continues to go well.
Doug and I both come from Bedford, we moved to East Northamptonshire, just after we married. He was a coach driver that is how I met him he took me to work, he traveled all over with his job and I work in a local school.
Doug had travelled all over the world before I met him, I’ve never been abroad, unless you count Jersey and Isle of Man.
He had to give up driving due to his failing health, but it didn’t stop us going away on holiday via coach. A busman’s holiday for him. It good to talk about them and remember, it making me smile just thinking of him.