Anxiety

Thanks Barbara and Griff I will try anything to keep my mind from overthinking. I’m going to the musuem later on and am on till duty so that will be fun particularly when it comes to cashing up as I put my abacus away a long time ago. Hope you have a better afternoon than morning Barbara weekends can be tough as it’s family time which just re e nforces our loss. It will get better and as Helen Reddy sang “We are Woman we are strong” Take care xx

2 Likes

Yes weekends are the worst as everyone is busy with their families. I’m ready now and might go for a walk this afternoon. Have a good day at the museum xx

3 Likes

Oh I’m in floods of tears Graham would have loved to watch the football and he’s missed it, another big thing he isn’t here for.

1 Like

Hi Griff,

I’m so sorry you are upset. This is it now, all the things that we know are loved ones would have really enjoyed. I saw one of the England players on the television a couple of weeks ago and her father had died not that long ago and she said something like “he has the best seat in the stadium now.” So let’s hope that Graham has as well.X

2 Likes

Thanks loobyloo2,
That’s a very nice thought and it made me smile. X

1 Like

That is a lovely thought. My husband was a huge sport fan and he always said he didn’t think he would see England or his team Newcastle united win anything else. He remembered watching the World Cup in 1966 when he was 15 and went to a lot of the matches when Newcastle won the fairs European cup in 1969.
He would have loved it today to actually see England win a tournament and I would have been kidding him on about it being the women who did it !!
I hope he saw from his good ‘seat’ xx

2 Likes

Bless you Griff yet another bump I watched it too and gave a loud cheer and then thought hang on here I’m Welsh but then I had another thought I’m a woman and cheered them on again
Good role models for the future and if Graham and Chris were here they would be shouting Go for it girls. Xx

1 Like

Not a good day tdy . Chris built a Boeing 737 flight simulator in his shed ,it kept him going these last few years . Today a specialist firm is coming to dismantle it and take it to be sold on behalf of his estate. I"m really not lookimg forward to it but have little choice but at leasr the proceeds of the sale will go to his grandchildren. Anxiety is just below the surface and I 'm really not sure how I 'll feel once it has gone as it feels like I am loosing him all over again. Head says it will be ok heart says just let the tears flow and what will be will be

3 Likes

Oh Shirley I will be thinking about you today. Keep strong.X

2 Likes

Morning all,

My road has been busy lately, on Friday I walked up n down Ben Nevis made me feel alive once again. I have given up trying to sit at the dinner table alone my friends and family have said to stop punishing myself so I am.

Hope all your journeys are having more ups than downs x

1 Like

It took 2 days to dismantle the flight simulator and now it has gone to pastuters new just like the man who built it. It was hard as it epitomised the man Chris was and that hurt watching it been taken apart was just like watching him fade away from me all over again. The wobbleys are back big style this morning and I am going to have sit with them until they pass . I’ve a busy afternoon ahead of me and hopefully this heat disapates later today. Take care my friends keep cool and hydrated x

3 Likes

Hi Shirley
I so understand how you feel about the simulator going as it was such a big part of Chris’s life.
Mark has a big collection of sports memorabilia, framed football shirts and autographed photos and programmes. A few of them are on our staircase but the majority are packed away in the loft. I found a note he had left saying to do what I wanted with them and even gave me the name of an auction house. I’m torn between selling them and letting them go to someone who would appreciate them like he did but it was his hobby and such a big part of him that like you with Chris’s simulator it’s hard to let go. It’s still early days but just mulling things over as you do and not really getting anywhere.
Xx

Thank you Barbara. It is hard Chris left his train layout to his grandsons and that didn’t feel.as bad when we dismantled it and shared it between them ,but the flight simulator couldn’t be split up so has to be valued and sold and the proceed go back into the estate to be shared amongst his 5 grandchildren hence the last 2 days and the negociations needed with a specialist firm to do the work and valuation etc
I just feel that it’s never ending and just want to let things be but as the executor of his will I can’t . Hopefully it will reach a conclusion soon. Take care and I am sure you will reach the right decision when the time is right xx

2 Likes

Struggled with anxiety off and on most of this week
Chris’s children buried their Mother on Thurday and that hit me harder than I thought it would. Have my grandson and his mum here for a few days so hopefully some distraction and keeping me busy will help me sleep longer than 3 hours tonight 5

1 Like

Enjoy your grandson Shirley, hope you sleep tonight. X

Although I have enjoyed my grandson been here for a long weekend I feel totally exhausted and feel like I have taken three steps backwards. I keep thinking if Chris was here we would share the load etc. Not sleeping doesn’t help and sorting through the shed feels like a mountain to climb but it’s a job that has to be done . I am a glass half full person as a rule but at the moment the anxiety is getting the upper hand. Think I just need to get my head down and get on with putting the house back together and cat nap later x

1 Like

Oh Shirley, I returned early from my daughters her n husband had a bit of a disagreement and I couldn’t handle it. I’m exhausted and my grief is bad at the minute so I tried CRUSE yesterday online chat and person kept saying I hear you, I thought you don’t because I’m texting so I’ve now got counselling with St barnabas. I’m so scared of letting the grief out incase I sink low and won’t be able to stop crying. I would normally share my concerns and worries with Graham it’s when you miss them so much and realise it’s never going to be the same again

Take care Shirley

3 Likes

@Griff I’m the same, I want to let a bit of grief hit me rather than blocking everything all the time, but feel like I’m hanging over a huge drop and if I let go I just know I can’t handle it. Small steps? I wish I could…

4 Likes

This sounds awful but I’m glad I’m not the only one feeling this way.

3 Likes

Hello Shirley and Griff

I am sorry to hear that you both are finding it tough at the moment and send big hugs to both of you. You were so kind to me when I first joined this site and I thank you both for that. I have had my own problems lately and have been posting on other threads because I find acknowledging others in the same position as me gives me a little comfort. I miss my husband every minute of every day and it is not getting any better. He was such a huge character. Lovely, funny, handsome and I will miss him 'till my time comes.X

3 Likes