Hi everyone, I just joined and would like to converse with older widowed people (55+) who do not have children. My soulmate husband has angelized and since then, I have lost any desires to …How do we continue on ? It would be really helpful to get some insights or tips to what to do… thanks in advance… and have a blessed day. (Sorry I am not very good at online media, but will try)
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Hi @LolaA I’m very recently widowed ( I hate this word). I’m 53 and my hubby was 44. He had children but I don’t, I do see my oldest stepson but not so much since he’s gone back to work. It’s so lonely without him and I especially hate Sundays as it was our day together. Either him watching formula 1 and me doing a dinner or I’d chill and he’d do a dinner.x
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I feel for you. Thank you for responding… and get your point, hate Sundays… I hate everyday now, and I miss him sooo much, it has been over 2 years. : (
@LolaA Hello, sorry for your loss. I’m in my 60s an I lost my beautiful husband of 40 years 8 and a half weeks ago but it seems like only yesterday. I miss him terribly and have cried every day since I lost him. We don’t have any children. He was my soulmate and my whole world. The worst times for me are mornings, evenings and the weekends are unbearable. The pain of losing him is unbearable. x
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Stargate, thanks for your response. for those of us without children, the journey seems even harder. And I am very sorry for us to meet here… Let’s try to support each other. I am going into the third year, and do not see any light ahead. How are you coping daily ? I find the mornings are the worst. I pray everyday, even sometimes it feels that God is not here…yet I can only keep seeking… for the grace. I am open to PM if you wish also.
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@LolaA Yes LolaA, supporting each other is a good Idea. At the moment I just live/exist one Hou at a time, one day at a time. I cannot think of tomorrow or the future. It’s too painful. I am not sure how we continue. My only hope is that in time the pain becomes tolerable.
Sending you love and hugs. x
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Hugs to you too
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Helen, I send you warm hugs too… let’s keep supporting each other.
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Sorry, still learning how to use this medium…never had to use it during my marriage.
I hear you, hours at a time, this is what I have been doing for about two years now. Let yourself cry as much as you can. At this point, I remember my brain was not working too well, brain fog. And little can be thought about or planned. One day the head becomes clearer. Not let others to tell you how to be otherwise. Hugs to you too. take good care. God bless.
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@LolaA I’m in my 60s and very recently 7 1/2 weeks widowed. I know I’m not coping very well, but as everyone tells me it’s very early days.
I’m lucky to have a lot of friends who have been really good, and a sister who I wouldn’t have survived (literally) without.
I’m waiting for it to get better….
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Hi @LolaA,
A sad welcome to this forum. The folk here are very supportive and understanding. I hope you find some comfort here.
Come January it will be two years since my lovely wife Christine died. We did not have any children. I have children from my first marriage.
As far as coping strategies go, I have some that help me to get through the particularly hard days. (Personally all days are hard, it is purely a matter of degree.) The two that are helping me most at the moment are exhausting myself at the gym and learning to play the piano. But some days are just so awful that there is nothing I can do for relief.
Yes the weekends are particularly challenging, I think this is a common experience.
Somehow you find ways of making the awful time less awful, you find things that distract you or maybe even bring some comfort and calm. But it is a struggle.
Whatever, try to be kind and forgiving to yourself.
Best wishes.
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@ Paddy53. Paddy very sorry we meet here. : ( … Early days are very hard, I cried day and night all the time… my heart has been literally in pain…Yes friends and family are really important now. Take good care. Let’s all support each other.
Hello evwryone i was widowed 8 weeks ago. I am 59 My lovely Steve died 10 days after diagnosis on my birthday. . We had no children , every day is a battle. I find mornings the worst , feeling sick and anxious about what the day will bring.
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Hi @Juliebobs,
Yup the mornings can be particularly ghastly, trying to find the will to actually get out of bed and face the day. Personally, I know exactly what the day will bring: Another round of trying to cope with the horror of the death of my wife Christine.
I am very sorry for your loss. Ghastly. The association of Steve’s diagnosis with your birthday could be extra tough. Maybe you will go numb after a while. I did and it kind of helped me get through the first couple of months, dealing with administrative aspect of death, which was still absolutely awful to navigate.
Best wishes to you.
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Thankyou. Not sure how I am ever going to make sense of it and try to forge a life. Steve told me the day after his diagnosis and I quote " I have got the easy bit I am only dieing, you have got the hard bit because you have got to keep living" Never has a truer statement been made. Xx
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Yes. Steve was spot on. All the best. X
Bad day today. Numb, then sad and now crying. I feel as if I’m suffocating. I know this is part of the grieving process but it’s so hard. At the moment I feel my future is bleak but hope that this unbearable pain, longing and yearning becomes more tolerable. At the moment my miss my husband terribly.
Take care everyone and hope you manage to have a better evening. x
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Thankyou, a lovely man. I miss him so much
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Hi @StarGate,
Ghastly you are having a particularly bad day. I know all these feelings intimately. At the worst moments just focusing on your breathing may bring a little relief. But of course even that can be very difficult.
Aside from the ghastliness itself, an additional difficulty I have encountered is the unpredictability of it all in the sense of: How will I be feeling tomorrow or in a couple of days time? If I am having a really crap day I am not really fit for anything. This makes it very tricky in making any commitments to meet people or attend an event for example. So the result is that I am very cautious about making arrangements which of course only compounds the isolation that we can find ourselves in.
I hope you manage to find a little relief this evening. Sending you best wishes. X
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@JerryH Thank you. Couldn’t concentrate on work so logged of early. The scariest part as you say is not knowing what tomorrow brings. There is never any warning of how you are going to feel.
I hope that tomorrow will be free of these ghastly waves for all of us.
Sending you love. x
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