Dear Alston56
Yes so right - merely onlookers on a world that has no concept of the pain that we are enduring and if my neighbours are anything to go by would just turn a blind eye. I am invisible to so many now. Perhaps I always was but with my husband by my side that was enough. To have lost him and think about a life alone is just impossible.
I think there is something wrong with me yes I miss my wife of 46yrs and we were very insulator we did everything together so when she passed 2yrs ago I could of gone into my shell but I didnāt I did what she wanted and got on with life. I started to learn guitar again I took up lawn bowls and bought an older car and joined the car club. I have our 2 dogs to walk and look after the hardest was going through cancer treatment by myself. Iām still here and I am going to continue my quest for a long life. Itās hard living alone but I would rather that than the other option, I watched my father do that. I look forward to spending more time with my wife but she will have to wait until my time comes.
Thatās good that you have been able to do those things. I just miss the presence of my husband whatever I do and wherever I am.
Good for you oscar. I wish i was as positive as you. Mel was my backbone, but i am weak. Great that you have rhe strength to carry on. Good on you. Your wife would be very proud of you.I miss her presence but for me life must go on we both knew that she would go first with all her health problems that she had in over 40yrs. She always said that if I didnāt live life she would come back and haunt me I believed her so Iām living out her wishes and that is what has kept me going through everything.
Dear Gary @Gary54
I respect other peopleās beliefs although am not a believer in God, I do think there is something of a higher being but what shape that takes, nature or love or extra terrestrial I do not know.
I did think this may be why I am hurting so much, the price us heathens will pay for not believing.
Right now if I could have just one minute with my darling, I would believe in anything at all, voodoo included.
Iām not a believer why would there be so much suffering if someone who is supposed to love everyone let them suffer. I loved my wife so much and tried so hard to relieve her suffering thatās what you do when you love someone. And would have swopped places with her but I know she would have suffered more being alone.
You are amazing oscar. I wish i could be a bit more positive. Well done you. Enjoy every moment. Im sure she is watching over you x
I know sheās looking over me thatās why Iām doing what she wanted me too. We had many years that we knew she would pass first because of her ailments. So had a lot of time to discuss all eventuality, we discussed it in Cyprus and Tunisia, Turkey the Canaries, Paris France Spain and many other places. She was my life but that life has ended and I have to get on with my life out of respect for my wife.
Oscar, what a lovely time you had together. You did get to plan things. Although its very sad and you miss her terribly. I lost my husband to covid after 49 urs together. I got to spend 8 minutes with him. We are all suffering. Great for tou that you are living your life as she wanted xxx
Dear Sheila @Sheila26
I just want to thank you for a previous post when you hoped for a reconnection with my my grandson. (Complicated - heās like my grandson but actually a great nephew), It happened today, we spent several hours together & it was lovely.
My thanks for your faith, hope & support. You are a good person xx
Maigret
Dear Maigret
Thank you. This has made me cry but tears of joy for a brief moment. I am so so glad that you have reconnected and he is part of your life again.
Take care.
Sheila
Hello Maigret
Hello. How are you keeping.You mention, the price heathens pay for not believing.
Believe and receive and you will feel much better.
John 3-16.
Read and believe.
It really helped me
We were made by God to rely on Him.
He loves us unconditionally
Try it what do you have to lose
Gary54
Sorry Gary54
I read the chapter but felt no understanding or comfort Iām afraid but thank you., 6 months without my hunny & itās not getting any easier. I donāt want to do this, I am such a lost soul without my lovely guy. Each day is torture each night worse. My life is just too painful & pointless, empty & meaningless without him. This isnāt living.
Dear @Maigret, Iām so sorry for your loss, I found and find reading Tom Zuba very comforting. Please look him up and maybe you might find peace. He has written two books and they are wonderful. Like you and I he has experienced loss of loved ones. Take care, Margarita 
Thank you @margarita1, I will have a look as you suggest. I need to find peace, some kind of normal before I go off my head completely. I am not fine, as I I told 3 people today. Far from it
Thanks again
Maigret
Dear Maigret
Here is another thought for you.
Prince of peace.
How does Jesus bring peace into my life?
There are so many things that can affect peace.
On this earth you canāt avoid these things. But you can have peace. A quiet unshakeable confidence about the outcome. Some people have great peace before they are martyred for their faith in Jesus. Because they know where they are going. In the same way, you can know you are going to live forever with the Lord in perfect peace. Let that assurance keep you from panicking in todayās storms. The outcome is certain.
Jesus cannot lie.
Donāt be troubled. You trust in God, now trust in me. There are many rooms in my Fathers home, and ai am going to prepare a place for you. If this were not so, I would tell you plainly. When everything is ready. I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am. And you know where I am going and how to get there. John14.1-4
Here on earth you will have many trials and and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.
Gary 54.
Dear Gary54
Thanks again for offering support by sharing your beliefs with me. I do know that believing in God can be a great comfort to many in times of loss. I unfortunately am not a believer unless he can stop this torture & bring my love back to me. And I know the law of physics tell me that is impossible. I am glad you find solace/comfort, love but this is not for me, nor was it for my poor husband.
I wish you well.
Folks, be kind, we are all hurting like hell ā¦
Hi Maigret
Thank you for your reply.
So sorry I couldnāt help you.
However, maybe itās just not the right time.
God has a big heart.
My mom saw her husband after he died.
It was only a few minutes.
He spoke to her but it was probably in Hebrew.
I was so happy she got to see him.
It was a different circumstance but he was in front of her.
Just thought Iād like to share with you.
Remember when we believe very deeply and have faith,
God can do anything.
Miracles still happen today.
Blessings~
Gary 54