Hello Maigret, hope you don’t mind me suggesting something. I agree that religious ideas are not always applicable. I taught religious studies in high schools. I think there is wisdom in every belief but I would never push one or the other, especially on a bereavement forum such as this where individual beliefs are personal. My bereavement counsellor recentlyvsuggested a writer called Richard Rohr. He has written about grief amongst other aspects of life. He is a monk but he is known to be a bit of a maverick and has, in his time been censured by the RC because he often uses examples of wisdom from other sources and makes them seem valid in trying to help. I wouldn’t say reading his work comforted me after Rose passed but there have been odd excerpts which have resonated. He approaches subjects not by quoting bible passages but by trying to give hope and the idea that although we never get over our grief, we can learn, eventually to live with it. It is almost a year for me and I have cried as much in the last week as I did immediately after. I miss her so much, counselling helps, and my friend, a bus driver, told me, “keep talking about her” I do and that helps for a while to get through the next little while. I think that by staying around I can honour her memory. Ultimately it is all I have. Best wishes and again, I am so sorry for your loss.
I m sorry, I don’t want an argument, if you read the whole post you would see that I said he saw and used wisdom from different belief systems. Nothing to do with pots and black kettles. Frankly, I was trying to help, not preach.
Another suggestion… Reasons to stay alive by Matt Haig is a good little book.
Sorry if my post offended anyone but I don’t think preaching at people helps.
It didn’t offend me!!
Thank you Ann. I have reported him so I will not be replying to his messages now.
[quote=“Gary54, post:1981, topic:33179”]
Remember when we believe very deeply and have faith,
God can do anything.
Miracles still happen today.
Blessings~
Gary 54
If God can do anything and miracles happen, then why can’t God bring back my Marti
God must not be mocked
It is extremely sad to see the “anyone out there” forum deteriorate to what it has overnight. This thread in particular helped me and many others get through very tough times.
The Sue Ryder group saved me, and many others, as we were at a loss, desperate, and needed support, which we received from other people on the group.
This is a support group, not a group to ram other people’s ideas and ideals down other people’s throats, whatever they may be.
If you have religion, and it helps you, continue with that, if you do not have religion you have to find solace and comfort elsewhere.
There is no right or wrong way. However what we all need to give and receive in the situation we are in are kindness, compassion and understanding.
Hi,
Well, I am so upset to see what has happened to my original cry for help all those months ago.
My original “Anyone out there” post created a bond that will never be broken.
What has blossomed OUTSIDE of this forum has changed my life for the better.
This is a forum for desperate people.
Grieving.
To see what this unravelling is so sad.
Come on moderators…
Where are you?
You were quick enough to edit my posts and as I have also heard, other people’s PRIVATE MESSAGES.
@Bristles I do miss you.
For those who wish to contact me, please feel free to private message me.
It is now 8 months for me.
I have to say, I am going backwards.
Wide awake at 4am.
Dr’s had to increase my medication again as my depression got worse.
I miss him today as much as I did 8 months ago.xx
For anyone who has just joined this forum, it really is a rollercoaster.
Do not suffer in silence.
I might drop in occasionally, but after one of my posts was edited, I was so upset that I didn’t post anything.
So I will probably receive an email advising me that my post has been edited, blah blah de blah.
Read up on the community guidelines blah de blah.
8 months on, am I bothered if I do? No.
I will just delete it.
I am sending all love and hugs. Xx
Word of the day. FANNY.
Those of you who know, will know what I mean.
This site saved my life and although I don’t post much here now as I and some other lovely people 
( that’s our logo) moved away to another means of communication so as to share our thoughts and feelings openly and candidly without fear of censorship.
Emotions run high for us all and now eight months along some of us have met face to face and new friendships have been formed from our adversity.
I’m now a Sue Ryder shop Volunteer as my way of giving back something to this organisation.
I have no problem with religion if it helps you then great I often sit in the Church when my wife’s ashes are interned and spend quiet time reflecting.
This site taught me to 
listen !
Respect others opinions.
Learn from others experiences and see the other persons point of view.
Please all of you help one another through but don’t preach it’s not what we want to hear.
I wouldn’t be here now if I hadn’t found this forum in those dark dark days last November with no other help available.
Look after one another,because we’re the ones that ‘get it’ sadly not ever so many outside do ! 
:adhesive_bandage:
yes I also love this book Malc and I was waiting for it to come out this month. The Midnight Garden by the same author is also brilliant if you’v not read it I can recommend, although that one is a story it is similar in feeling.
wholeheartedly agree with @Misty1972 @Wong @Bluecatmum77 @RichardM @Amylost
Love you guys.
If you want a religious thread thats great but please make a clearly titled new thread for those who want it. This is not the thread for that. This thread has changed people’s lives for the better without any help from gods of any type. I am pleased you have something helping you Gary but I am loyal to my Fanny the Flamingo religion so I am not for turning. I could tell everyone my beliefs in the one true Flamingo Mother of Cats but I’ll keep it to my fellow worshippers as i don’t think you’d care for it either. All the best.
Hello everyone,
I have spent some time catching up on this thread this morning - it seems to have become a little heated since I last checked.
Please can I remind you all, the primary purpose of this community is support - our community guidelines ask everyone to be kind, respectful and sensitive to one another. I can see a few posts which are neither and so I’m afraid I will need to delete a few of them.
To prevent the discussion becoming more problematic, I’m going to temporarily lock this thread - I will review this and unlock again if appropriate. It seems the topic of conversation has changed a little since the original message @Bluecatmum77 posted and so if you would like to start a new thread about a different topic, please can I ask you to do so by selecting ‘New Conversation’ on the community home page.
I am sorry if any of you have been made to feel uncomfortable or upset reading recent posts - please know we are looking into this and will take appropriate action.
Take care,
Megan
Online Community team
Hello everyone,
Having taken some time to review this thread and several posts within it, I am posting to let you know we have taken appropriate action, been in touch with the members involved and we have now reopened the thread.
Please know we will always moderate posts and threads on the community to ensure it remains a safe, supportive and welcoming space for everyone - the actions we have taken reflect that.
It is fine to disagree with others and their views; however, should you choose to respond, you must do so respectfully without attacking the person who has posted. You also have the option to ignore/scroll past the post or, if you feel strongly about the situation, you can opt to block a fellow member within your account settings.
Our hope is that the community continues to be helpful and is a good source of support for all who use it so please continue to use this thread with that in mind - we must draw a line under the disagreements that have happened in the last 24 hours. However, if the disagreements continue then we will need to consider closing the thread permanently.
Please do let us know if you see anything further that concerns you.
Take care,
Megan
Online Community team
Thankyou for re opening this post, as I have been here for nearly nine months, I have been in dark places with people whom have been bereaved at the simalat time, I have given out my deepest thoughts and shared without hesitation, that is what this page was all about, saying what you feel the soul talking at times, not being judged or judging, also not trying to sell anything either, if I was I would have been taken off this site the site that in the early days of Berevment saved me
I just don’t expe to others to sell too me if I want religion thrown at me I would seek a thread on religion. We are now a group of people who say what we feel laugh when we want too and the freedom of speech is respected no one deleting if they thought it was in appropriate, adults sharing and is that what it is not all about?
Thank you for your kind message Megan.
This particular thread has bought a number of people together, and has been very special.
Why the preaching of religion, that is both unwarranted and unhelpful I find offensive.
If there was a god, why does he make people suffer like this? All the pain and torture everyone is put through