Hello Wendy, It is not easy making a decision on what to do with your loved ones ashes. It comes down to individual choice. My much loved wife Vicky died 3 years ago after 68 years together. Over a life time we have many favourite places but I can’t bring myself to part with her ashes. In the end I have asked my family to bury our ashes side by side in the town’s Cemetry where we have lived all our lives
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I lost my wonderful husband 7 weeks ago I have his Ashes in a beautiful urn with a fisherman engraved on it. He loved his fishing. I have his ashes on the unit in living room during the day.and at night I say come on darling bed time and I sit him on our unit in the room where I can see him.his clothes slippers toothbrush razor everything he had in our 32 years together remain just where he left them. I do find some comfort having his ashes here just as he wanted to be back home .And they will remain with me for a very long time
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I will keep every thing of his i even keep his inhaler on the kitchen windowsill for a very long time it would feel like your getting rid of them i know people would say there only items but they are his stuff .i talk to him all the time i know we had many good times but it makes it harder knowing you wont have any more my son gets married soon and that is going to be so hard for me and the kids just hope hes there in spirt
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Yvette I’m sure you will all have him in your hearts when your son gets married. Be brave & make him proud. Sending hugs.
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My husband things are just where he left then that gives me comfort. I couldn’t part with any of them
My son also gets married soon hubby was to be his best man I’ve no idea how I’m going to get through the day will just have to see but right now I’ve no interest at all. Take care
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My husband’s things are just as he left them as well.
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Yes, moved nothing with the exception of anything motorbike related. Friends have tried to get me to sort through his things and dispose of them, but for me they can stay where he left them until I am gone. I just cannot bear the thought of removing any items. The only time his shoes are moved is when our eldest grandson goes and gets them out of the shoe basket - he ignores mine and only takes his granda’s. Breaks my heart.
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I honestly could not part with anything I’m more at peace knowing his things are all here at home where they should be.
Nobody will pressure me to make a decision
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Dear Ali21
Nor me. I don’t understand why it is a concern to others. Even my son the other weekend suggested we bag things up. I politely told him where to go. I know he thinks he is being helpful but this is ‘our’ house and will continue to be. It would feel so wrong to remove any items and just be faced with empty drawers and wardrobe.
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I know and why would we want empty drawers etc don’t we already have enough emptiness in our lifes right now.
No rush to do anything things I know we would just end up regretting later on
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I also have no interest i feel so bad its ment to be the best day of thier life it will be very emotional we’ll have to try our best for them we are laying a place for his dad with a special sign. my heart goes out to you
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I think people think you need to get rid of stuff so you can move on they dont understand we dont want to move on i feel the presence of my husband at home you wouldnt get that if you got rid of everything everything holds memories
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My husband’s ashes were at home after he died in December,
In May we took them to the memorial woodland nearby.
I kept a little back and sent them to a specialist jewellers who used them in a silver ring for myself and my son. Also had a glass rainbow ornament made with the ashes too.
It feels like he is here and I visit the woodland as well it is so peaceful.
Do what you feel is right for you 
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Wendy I lost my husband almost 11 months ago and I still have his ashes here with me . He was a Buddhist so I have all his Buddhism things in a corner of my room and he’s on a shelf with them all around him.
I never thought I would ever take comfort in having anyone’s ashes in my house but I really don’t want to do anything with them I am comfortable with them being where they are so I’m living with it.
He really was my world and my go to person so I still feel I need him around me
Take care keep talking this site has been the biggest comfort for me in my times of need x x Karen
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Hi Kazzer, glad to see you are still around and that sounds good.
I havent picked up my husbands ashes yet (9 months). I don’t believe they are him, I bought a really nice urn that took me lots of selecting before i finally got it then another couple of months before i could take it out of the box. Now i’ve got it on my mantelpiece but it’s empty. I just don’t see the point why I bought it now and don’t feel like ever picking them up.
He feels so far away from me now.
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I am desperate to feel the presence of my husband at any point but there is nothing, absolute nothing. But I cannot erase him from my life by removing his clothes and other personal items.
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I’m also desperate to just see or hear anything I’ve had feathers in the house a butterfly 
Of course we can’t erase them from our lives they are our lives always will be
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Dear Ali21
If I thought he was still watching over me and the family it might help, but I have no sense of that. Our son is now awaiting the results of a Covid test. He is a shop worker and worked throughout the pandemic. But since yesterday he is really poorly. I cannot go and help his partner with the two grandsons - both under the age of two. I feel helpless. If my husband was here he would be re-assuring me that everything will be ok.
Then I receive a letter from the Coroner in the post this morning. At the Inquest the adequacy of round markings had been questioned so this was the Council’s reply. The written word was ok to deal with but only for them to include a photo of the road where he crashed (obviously not on the day of the crash). I am so upset. For month’s I had thoughts of my husband’s last moment’s but had no desire to visit the crash scene. Now the picture in full blown A4 colour in imprinted in my head. I am trying to put together a response to the Coroner’s office. I found this so insensitive. I did not need to see this.
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Sheila, I am so sorry that you are being put through yet more. I cannot believe how the systems that deal with bereaved people are set up. It’s not just that they don’t help, they make it worse. At the worst time in our lives, they make it worse. I have sent a company an email stating this as they ask me for yet more forms that I have already filled in. My heart goes out to you.
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Dear Jules4
Thank you. We are made to jump through so many hoops when what we need is support to help us through this. I know what you mean about the company, we are made to feel that we are asking for something that we are not entitled when are husband’s worked so hard and paid into these things.
I have the email address for the Coroner’s office so just trying to summons up what I am going to put in the email.
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