Thats ok. I just like him at home … he loved his home … and i loved him … anyway got a text today from my daughter about baby. He is lying breach so might be a caesarian … ??? Xx
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@Deb5 well if I was somewhere secure I’d have Baz with me and wait ……
Oh so she’s got in touch then , well that’s good news . Not so good about the baby , breech . I suppose that does mean a c/ section is likely . Actually I had an emergency c/ section under a general anaesthesia. Worst part was the panic that went with that , it was a serious emergency. I wouldn’t have minded a planned section. Hopefully all will be well , I’m sure it will be xxx
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Yep i hope so ! Hoping that means will see baby anyway … loves babies dont you ! And fingers crossed for you too that you see your sons baby. He will probably come around when he is up all night with the baby and changing nappies etc. He will be exhausted and he won’t know what’s hit him ! Lol xx
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@Deb5 well I don’t know . My son is adamant that I can’t see the baby . I really don’t understand why . After Baz died , he was supportive and made arrangements etc . It was when his wife got pregnant ( which I wasn’t told about for ages ) that things changed and I’ve been frozen out . Then he started blocking me - I admit that because I was so lonely and depressed I made a lot of calls to him but that is grief for you . I thought he’d be happy to be supportive. Unfortunately things changed and have got worse . I’m sure they won’t be calling on me to help because they’ve got his wife’s mother . I don’t know - on top of all the heartache there’s now this , so it’s not helping me heal that’s for sure xxx
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They might not be calling on you to help but i am hoping he will come round for you to see the baby. Fingers crossed 
xxx
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@Deb5 for some reason which I don’t understand he seems to hate me . I’m not understanding it at all , I’ve not had a major fall out that would explain this . I’ve accepted that I can’t force him to allow me access - I think the fact he’s weaponised his unborn baby says an awful lot about him not me . I’m disgusted by him at the moment, on top of my grief. He certainly is not helping with grieving that’s for certain. xxx
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Yep … wesponising children ! I know about that one ! Long story. Take care. Just keep as quiet as you can and ignore him, like he ignores you and i bet he will come around eventually and let you see the baby - i hope so anyway x
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@Deb5 well I’m just being casual about the whole thing in the hope that things work out . I’m moving ( again) soon so I’ve got this to think about and take my mind off things . Then to add further complication , the house Baz and I shared for 12 years has been renovated and coming back onto the rental market again in a couple of months, so I might consider going back there . Potential of 2 moves in a few months ! I’ve agreed to the flat so have to move there now ! Life is very complicated and I’m stressed by indecision about my house situation so no time to worry about my son ! Maybe I will finally find some peace and my grief will mellow who knows xxx
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Oh yeh you are busy. That’s good xx
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@Deb5 yes you could say that ! Mind you it’s a way to try before you buy with a flat . I’ve not moved in over 12 years when Baz was here , since he’s died this could possibly be 3 moves . Never mind - it’s more important to make the right decision I suppose . Xxx
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Hi. I also have my wifes ashes at home. Its whete she woukd want to be.
Please listen to your heart and not what others think.
I have a caravan on the voast, we used to go every weekend, i went last week for a week and took her with me.
I know she would want that, it also brings me comfort knowing shes right with me.
My wish is our ashes be mixed together and so we will be truly back together one day.
Please follow your heart, nothing and no one else matters
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Same … got his ashes with me too and they aint going anywhere until im ready !!! As you say no one else matters ! Its how we feel … they were our partner - not anybody else’s ! Xx
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Couldnt agree more. Its how We feel, not other people. When its their turn they will understand x
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I also my husbands ashes at home ,i have them in the lounge ,they are a great comfort to me
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My husband passed 6 months ago. His ashes rest next to his favourite chair in the conservatory. His wishes were to be scattered at sea in Egypt where we had great dives. He wanted me to take the whole family out for a holiday but I can’t afford that. I will though take him to be scattered on the south west coastline again where we had great dives. That way the family can come on a chartered boat and we can all say our goodbyes as he takes his final deep dive. I’m missing him so much .
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I don’t care if they understand … lol … its what im doing so tough … x
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Lovely story … and brilliant idea when youre ready to do it - you will do. I like my husbands ashes being with me. I spoke to someone i know at beginning of this journey and it took him 8 years to let go of his partners ashes … we are all different arent we … we have to do it at our own pace. I miss being loved by him do you ? I never felt alone when he was here …i got my dog and friends, some.family when they can be bothered , but not same as that special person is it 
xx
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Got his ashes at home picked a double earn so when I go we can be together 
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Deb5
I never felt alone when my husband was with me . Now I do no matter who is in my life family/friends wise. It’s a unique relationship isn’t it . Irreplaceable
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Yeh it really is and so very precious too i really dont think that unless you lost your husband people really dont understand it either … xx