Hi Olive,
It’s for Admin in NHS, I’m glad they asked for a different date for me as I’m so ill. Hope you’re day is going well.
I’m sure you will ace it when you are better
Yes I hope so, my life is just non existent at the moment
When is the interview?is your background in admin ?
I have counselling now last one was three weeks ago this is only the second session.
Yes I have done admin all my life, from housing to HR, to publishing, not sure if I can still do it, as my eyes are old, hope the session goes well and you feel better. I will have to pay to get therapy.
Hi Olive
Hope you are feeling a bit better. May I Why did they leave 3 weeks between your last counselling session as that seems a long time.
Xx
i guess they don’t have slots mynext one is the 15th of Aug.
I do feel a bit calmer thank you.
I was in the shop today but work work tmrw which i find harder to sustain
i hope you all have a good evening.x
Hi Olive
Hope work has not worn you out too much . I’m concerned that they are leaving such long times during counselling sessions. That is not ideal and not recommended by the BACP as an ideal scenario. May I ask who the provider of the counselling is?
Take care and hope you have a good day
Xx
It’s a charity in Wales Cruse not really operating here ATM.
It’s called HavHav.
Work work today so that’s harder 8 hrs to go I can do it
You have a good day too xxx
Everyone
Hi Olive
Hope you are having a good day at work. You will be exhausted tonite so feet up, doing something you love, although I know there is not much that interests you, same here but please try. Self care is the order of the day right now for us.
Have you tried the Sue Ryder online counselling? I did and it was really, really good. Very professional. It helped me. If you haven’t already given it a go, I would urge you to do so.
Take care
Xx
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Hi I had a good day yesterday.
I know it sounds silly but I dreamt about my mum last night nothing bad we were making chips in the toaster (of course we were) but she was alive in my dream I kept thinking she is alive and I get a second chance to be with her and never leave her.
I am at work now and I havent stopped crying I can’t believe how powrful the dream was and my feelings now
Hi Olive
Wow that was some dream. It sounds lovely but has left you sadder by the sounds of it and I hear your pain.
Grief is weird!! I was walking in the local Cemetery yesterday, something I have avoided since Mum died, but if course, I was thinking of her. Then I passed a headstone that said “She is at her rest now”. Something changed for me, I thought, that’s right Mum has done what she had to do on this earth, but now she is at rest. So I have to come to “rest” too so to speak. It’s only fair. She did the best she could for me while she was alive and now I need to do the best for her whilst I am alive and that means LIVING. (I can see her mouthing that word as I type). So that’s what I am going to try to do from today. Her last words to me were “look after yourself” She knew she was about to go and she had to leave me behind. She died 4 hours later I wasn’t present, only the carers. She was chatting away to them then she just stopped breathing then passed very quickly. I think I now appreciate the meaning of RIP.
I hope today gets better for you.
Take care xx
Hi Cheri,
Cruse only offers trained volunteers, no different to the people who staff their helplines. They are not professional counsellors. The Cruse guy I spoke to yesterday was so nosy, and kept pushing me for details of the tragedy (including what hospital was it, because the guy I was speaking to was local) and asking questions I felt uncomfortable with. It wasn’t until afterwards that I realised he had no qualifications. I regret ever engaging with them. It took me 6 months to get seen. This is what the webpage says. I don’t think it’s clear enough, for people in distress, that they aren’t professional counsellors. I think he re-triggered the trauma, because I dreamt of my dad in hospital, last night. It was like an interrogation. “OK, so you were at the hospital. And was your dad immobile, then ?” What kind of eejit asks that. No, my dad was unconscious and he was a wonderful man, unlike the nosy parker I was assigned to. So annoyed.
My advice is to steer well clear. Sue Ryder, on the other hand, says that they offer actual professional counsellors.
Hi
I’m sorry for your loss and sorry for the very unfortunate and traumatic counselling experience you had. A good, qualified counsellor should tell you at the first session the type of counselling you are going to receive ( there are soo many different types). They should discuss boundaries with you (ie all that goes on in a session is confidential etc They should discuss safe guarding. That is where in the course of the counselling, the counsellor suspects you are at risk to either to yourself or others then they will need to discuss you with other Health Care Professionals They should invite you to ask them about themselves regarding their training and qualifications if you want to.
I had counselling with Sue Ryder and the counsellor did all of the above. She was completely professional, warm, non intrusive, clearly experienced and the whole experience was amazingly helpful to me.
I too have had a bad counselling experience similar to you and it completely freaked me out as it did not feel safe and left me a bit of a mess tbh!!
I would highly recommend Sue Ryder Counselling.
Take care
Xx
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Hi Burgled,
Thanks for messenging me,
I will take on board the advice, I appreciate it it, I hope you will get some advice, I am thinking of getting therapy, as I have no family, hope you are having a good weekend
From Cheri
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Hi Cheri, yes I would say that access some counselling would help, its always a lottery as you have to have faith in the person you get, but talking to someone definitely helps. I find that after three months I cannot talk to any one and feel that i don’t want to burden them .
Mums passing was far from peaceful, I had to fight every step of the way for pain relief and care, i was with her every day for the last three months I would not wish it on anyone very traumatic.
Mum was so stoic and strong, it was hard to tell how much she knew at the end but there were moments of lucidity, she would have been horrified if she truly knew .
Not sure why i started this , mum had dementia and that is how it ends I can accept that she has gone and in a way I am glad that she managed it with such grace uo to the last three months and did not have years of distress.
Now i have to live knowing that I should have done better, i couldn’t have changed the end I should have made her last six months better, its so hard to know with dementia even when you are with them, and i was with her every weekend and holidays in the last year you cant make it better. She had carers and my sister when I was not there and did not want to be incarcerated (her words) my sister and niece took her to visit a home but she was not for staying.
I’m sorry i really don’t know why i started this i guess it cos i haven’t spoken to anyone today.
Yes I agree we need to make the best of the lives we have but i have to admit that I am struggling to see the point, I appreciate what I have and I try to give back constantly.
I will keep trying
that post went all over the place sorry
Thank you so much @lulujones33
I’m not sure what made me choose Cruse over Sue Ryder, other than that I thought I’d mix and match the 2 (ie, the online chat forums of Sue Ryder and what I thought was counselling from Cruse).
There’ll be a lot of people on their extensive waiting list who think that they’re about to receive professional counselling.
Hi Cheri
I hope you are well. Re counselling/therapy please take a look at the reply I made to Burgled about this. You need to find someone you feel safe with. Good counsellors will understand your need to ask questions and in fact will welcome them. Take care
Xx
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Thanks lulu,