Sending love back, Deb. We sure need it. 
Hi Ulma,
Totally agree! It’s been so difficult again this year. Felt emotional all day. The sadness is intense. Doesn’t get any easier even after 3 years.
How have you been managing ?
Deb x
Ive been in tears on and off all day today Deborah, thinking I should be loading the car up and driving to mums and helping her with last minute preparations. The waves of longing have been so strong 
Sending you all wishes for a peaceful Christmas
I’m managing, that’s it, I wouldn’t say I’m managing well. I don’t feel it’s easier either, I’m still just going through the motions. 
Thank goodness for the forum.
Hi Ulma,
I totally understand how you feel.
It’s the worst type of heartache I have ever experienced. Grief changes everything. Every aspect of my life has changed. And none for the better.Got up very early this morning. 5 am when the world world seemed asleep. Mum used to say that time in the morning was when she felt the nearest to God. This morning I actually felt it too and maybe she was with me because it seemed as though she was.
I am glad today is almost over though.
How did you manage today ?
Deborah x
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It really does. I miss the me that was before my loss too, because I don’t think I’ll ever be that person again.
I wiped myself out crying the other day, so I’ve been numb today, which I suppose is good. But it’s a relief it’s soon over.
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Hi,
I watched Mama Mia Here we go Again. Big mistake ! Was in bloods of tears at the end. I honestly to was sobbing and could stop. Think I had built it all up all day then pop.
Yes me too. I miss my old life. Terribly.
Hope you are feeling a bit better that the day is almost over. I do !!
Deborah
Oh no. The triggers are everywhere. Sometimes it does feel like a relief to get it out though.
Yes. It’s pretty much done, that Christmas thing. Phew!
Hi everyone yes that Christmas thing is almost over. phew phew phew
We got through it. Go us! So to speak.
Am so glad it’s over
Deb
Yes, I agree.
Gosh New Years Eve always melancholy .
Even more so in this new reality that we live in.
Thank you all for just being, sending a peaceful new year x
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Yes its hard leaving behind a year that our loved ones never got to see, and even harder going into another year knowing its more of the same. Big hugs to you Olive
Hi,
I wish everyone on here to gain strength in 2026 to carry on managing grief, to look after yourselves and to continue the wonderful friendships that have been formed on here.
Thank you all for being there for me personally in what has been tough years for me. I am extremely grateful to everyone for replying to my posts and urging me through some difficult times.
Sending love
Deborah x
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Sending love right back at you Deborah Thank you for all the support you have given to so many people on this site including myself
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Sending love to everyone too. I hope for peace for all of us and am thankful for having had you to talk to here on the forum!
is it just the January blues its the darkest month after all, is it that i am just giving in .
Im sorry maybe I dont belong with you good people , I am swathed in blame i am giulty maybe its not grief .
im sorry
I think the new year is a difficult time for lots of people both grieving and non grieving. I find it hard to turn the calendar and hear the talk of “new year” when for me its just another year that Mum wont get to see, where I have to keep plodding along with this massive hole inside me.
You most certainly belong here Olive, this is a judgement free zone! We are all here to support each other.
Have you given any thought to considering counselling support this year? I know earlier you didnt feel ready, but im not sure theres ever a time that we DO feel ready. We can keep telling you to let go of that guilt, but thats not going to make a lasting difference, it has to come from within you, and thats where a counsellor may be able to help you cope with this guilt you are carrying . Im pretty sure your Mum wouldnt want you to keep punishing yourself like this.
Sending much love
Lovely words Ally.
January can be a right downer of a month when you start the New Year without loved ones. Every year I have felt like that and still do.
I am trying to think of 2026 as a healing year and am going to spend the whole year on my own wellbeing. Something I haven’t really done proper since mum passed in Dec 2022. I have just survived and like everyone else on here it’s been traumatic and extremely hard.
Sometimes it’s so easy to neglect ourselves, our health, our appearance, our diet, our hobbies, our friends etc My list could go on and on. For me I am going to set myself small projects each month! Time will tell If I stick to them though. January is my diet month and fitness month! For someone who hates exercising it’s going to be mega tough! But I realise I am stuck in my grief world so much that I am neglecting myself and I know my mum wouldn’t want that.
The New Year seemed a good time to make changes for me. My mum always used to say “ you must change a negative into a positive" and that’s what I am going to try to do.
Olive - you most certainly do belong here. Please don’t ever think you don’t. You are a beautiful , kind person who has a heart of gold. You have helped me so much ! You will get through this January feeling. Just take things slowly x
Wishing everyone strength to carry on healing and getting stronger in 2026.
Love Deborah x
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