Woken up at 3am. Not sure why feel shaky. Heart ache. Thought id reach out. The small frienship circle dont seem to reach out maybe busy with their own lives and when i reach out, I feel they dont understand. and the smaller family network is not near and only want to give advise to stay strong for my little girl. Very lonely and worried how to navigate this. Mondays after a quiet weekend of missing him is hard. My body hurts. Not had much sleep.
10 Likes
Hello @hary .
I think most of us on this site will recognise those feelings. You have come to a site where, sadly, we understand what you are going through. You are not alone. I hope you can find some kind of comfort here. Feel free to express your feelings, rant and rave if you like. We get it. I wish we didnāt, but we do.
Sending strength and understanding. x
2 Likes
It is so hard and those who have not been here often seem unable to understand the depths of the pain.
I have been finding that posting here is a help, just knowing that I am not going crazy and Iām not alone in these feelings.
Sending you a hug to try and help navigate the day xxx
4 Likes
Its a lot isnt it. Thanks for your support. I HAVE to work and there are so many issues. Theres so much to do at a time when i dont want to do anything. Right now feels like a big brick or rock is on my chest. I am so tired and feel like crying but cannot
2 Likes
Itās good to have a good cry, it can help release pent up emotion.
Iāve found going to work has been my saviour. Back in the early days I used to sob in the car on my way home and I would scream and yell as loud as I could. Try it. It helped, even if only for a short time.
2 Likes
I keep telling myself it is such a short time, my husband died in an accident in August, and that I need to do a day at a time.
I have found limiting tasks that I need to achieve and ticking them off helps me focus.
@Crazy_Kate is right I found letting it out in yells helped xxx
3 Likes
Im glad youve found some form of release. Yes work is a good distraction but perhaps not the pressure and stress of trying to keep everything going in your own business which is my livihood and was always stressful before. I cant seem to find a releaseā¦
Cannot cry 
did a lot of bauling crying but now not sure why i feel blocked
2 Likes
My husband died in august too. Its no time at all. Its hard to focus and my list is really long. I struggle to find positives when i feel so low. Am trying to take each day. You are strong 
3 Likes
What i canāt get used to is sleeping on my own.We used to hold hands in bed,miss that.
5 Likes
I know what you mean! I just canāt sleep without him. I feel exhausted and hope for us both that this gets better
Sending hugs and strength x
2 Likes
I hope it does as well,sending you a big hug.
2 Likes
Hello hary, right here with you. Tomorrow is 3 weeks for me. I could just vomit sometimes, truly. However, I have to maintain because there is important STUFF to do and I have to stay focused.
I never got the mail or paid a bill. Now, I am worried that there are bills in the stacks of papers in his office that I donāt know about and I am checking the mailbox a couple of times a day
Luckily, I have a sleep aid. With it I can get a solid 5 hours of sleep. Talk to your physician and get some medical help here. You have to sleep. It is important. You canāt do anything when you are sleep deprived.
Even my closest married friends do not understand - at all - what I am going through. Only my 2 widows get it. The married ones try to cheer me up, the widows simply nod their heads and say āI knowā and then make me laugh. Some dear married friends actually suggested that we all get together to celebrate my husbandās birthday in 2 weeks. WHAAAAT? I love them and they mean well. They just donāt know.
You navigate an hour at a time. That is what I do. When things get bad or I feel too stressed, I pace my garden or sit down and come here and tell everyone. It makes me feel better just sharing with āsisters and brothers in sorrowā because there is no judgment here.
The weight of the world is on your shoulders, you are burdened with worry, we understand. Do you have any family member or friend that can come and stay with you for a bit? My friend came for 4 nights, 5 days and saved me from collapse.
How old is your daughter?
1 Like
Everyone here knows how you feel, there is usually someone on here to listen.
Sending hugs and strength.
Xx
1 Like
Thank you xx
1 Like
Arent you lovely for writing back. And sharing. Its so comforting to know someone understands. Someone gets it. I need some widow friends by the sounds of it. I met one through my now 8 year olds (she was 7 when daddy died, she turned 8 few weeks ago) dance school but im shy and lack self confidence, with having to see to work and child My husband was the charm and charismaā¦ im truly grateful to you and sending hugs back. Youāre amazing 
1 Like
My sister came to stay in the first week. Focus was my daughter and seeing to her.
But i feel like I have no one and have to stay strong for her
1 Like
I am here because I get some relief from sharing my experience and finding out that my actions, emotions and confusion are normal.
1 Like
I know whar you mean - holding hands, simple, trivial but sleeping together was one of the great joys of my life . . . And I told her every night. We were old and cronky, no wild nights of passion, but the one you love, warm, alive there by my side to touch and hold through the night. How it was supposed to be. Oh I weep for Anne for she is gone. But love endures and death will not take that away. 'O death where is thy sting . . ā Be strong, your pain is because what you had is good, part of the deal. You are now in a new relationship. There has been a shifting of the cards of life, still there but taking you forward along a new path.
2 Likes
I lost my partner Liam 15 months ago and he was the love of my life, we were happy together we never lived together but that seemed to make it work even better.
I have found ways of getting through the dreadful heartache most of the time and this last couple of weeks has been a new way of despair over losing him. Initially I got involved in activities I tried to be interested in things and it helped a lot but recently I have found it harder to engage with people I have started to feel no one is interested in being in contact with me because I have lost my love. I used to deliberately be positive as I did not want to live in a low vibration but I think although I am fighting it that seems to be happening to me
I feel isolated and friendless a lot of the time, there are a couple of people I talk to as well as my sister and my mum but I had a very bad night feelings of despair and overwhelm ent washing over me. I found a healing expertise and I did meditation both helped but I do not really have a community to relate to or to feel a part of
It is encouraging to read posts on here from others who have the same feelings of loss and not knowing where to go from here
3 Likes
Hi there.
Youre doing ok. We are all trying and its painful and not easy and to me, no one really understands. Hugs
1 Like