How long did people find it took them to start going out socially again?
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It took me about 6-8months to go out for a drink with a few friends
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To be honest my wife had been poorly since 2018/19 but particularly over the last 18 months ! She actively encouraged me to go out but I seldom did as I wasn’t comfortable leaving her for long even knowing that she had suitably capable carers with her.
Since she passed away however I have tried to get back to some sort of social life with mutual friends and also our rotary club where we were both members.
I have been a photography enthusiast for years but haven’t picked up my camera in months but hopefully I will get my mojo back in the new year and catch up with my friends
I’m getting there but her funeral was only Monday so I can’t expect too much from myself.
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@Sah28 because my way of coping is to keep busy, I’ve seen friends and family socially a lot. To start with my sister was with me which helped as she would protect me, Now I go in the car, and warn people that I cry, and that I might need to go early. The hardest thing is getting back through the front door though.
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Paddy53 i can understand how you feel about getting back through the door. On the return home of my gorgeous beautiful wife sues funeral my daughter aderlaide went in first and it was when Teddy n George our two dogs came running out to meet me that was when I took a deep breath and walked back in as i knew it wasn’t fair on them if dad didn’t go in
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@Sah28 My husband passed unexpectedly on 7th November. I will be going out to a staff Christmas meal tomorrow night (his business and his staff). We did discuss cancelling it but I KNOW that he would not agree with that and he’d want us to carry on, so that is what I’m doing. I’ve visited a few people’s homes and I went to a spiritualist church for the first time last night.
I know for a fact that he would want me to socialise (he tried to get me to when he was alive, but I’ve always been a homebody - all I needed was him). I like to feel that he’s with me and he’s proud of my forays into the world - taking him with me in my heart. 
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I think you’re showing real strength @Reality in going ahead with it and I’m sure he would be very proud of you. My husband also tried to encourage me to have interests but I am the same as you, all I ever needed to be happy and contented was to be with him . Was the spiritualist church helpful?
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@Mist2 It was helpful in that the lady who accompanied me to it had someone come through for her. She was only there to support me and so had not expected anything - she burst out crying and was confirming everything the medium was saying (it was her mother-in-law who came through and they were very close). Paul did not come through for me but I went with an open mind as I know it is still very early and he might not be able to yet. However my friend (who’s mother-in-law came through) said that one of the mediums was staring at me all of the time (I didn’t notice) so she suspects that she could see someone but that it wasn’t the right time.
I still believe he is with me and we will go to a different spiritualist church in the new year so I’ll be ready to hear him when he is ready to talk. In the meantime it’s me doing all of the talking (and I can feel him providing me with emotional support so I know he is with me).
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@Reality the mediums I have seen have said they can come through almost immediately. It was the time I saw her privately that she fetched my husband and my mum xx
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I might think about it once we’re through this time of year. I’ve always had an open mind about it, and I do feel strongly that he’s still with me. I think I’m open to anything that might provide some comfort.x
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I had an amazing reading of a medium too less than 2 months after x
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It brought me some comfort but only go to a one with a good reputation x
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I’m 7 months in and still struggling to go anywhere but I know I need to
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Sah28 well said I appreciate some people need closure and I hope it works for you. I went to a spiritualist church and immediately felt uncomfortable but i couldn’t put my finger on it. Have never been anywhere near it again. I don’t think I could go to a medium
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@Sah28 How was your reading with the medium? I’m not sure if it was private things that were said ? I’m so looking forward to hearing from him 
He blew me away he knew things he couldn’t possibly know, I’d looked at one of Stephen’s watches a few days before and was thinking of giving it to someone, I was told to keep the watch. He told me about a daft joke we had.
He told me about all 3 kids.
He even told me the our last words.
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@Sah28 I go to our local in the village, it was where we both went and it’s been my saving grace. Being with friends who knew my husband well and truly understand my grief. It’s somewhere I feel safe and there are many times when I get overwhelmed and just need to go home. They totally get it and there are many times when I’m in floods of uncontrollable tears and they get that too. I’m very lucky and would be lost without them, I can’t bear staying indoors at the weekends. However, whilst my local is my comfort blanket, I’m still not ready to venture further afield for celebratory events and I’ve turned down lots of offers. One step and one deep breath at a time.
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@Mist2 it did give me comfort to know he is ok and he’s aware what a shame it was to go when our life was more secure . She said we were so close touching two fingers together. We were inseparable
@Martyn2 its not for everyone but I was astounded as it was my Andrew talking through her 100%
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@Sah28 Would it be possible for you to let me know who this medium was please, please, please? I live near you so I’d be able to book in to see him. I’d VERY MUCH like to. 
Feel free to private message me the details if you’d prefer. I just really need to hear from my husband and that he is indeed with me.