Next Wednesday im going to see a bereavement counsellor to talk through my grief about losing my beloved husband.
Just wanted to ask anyone who has been if its helps with this pain in my heart.
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Honestly, talking, regardless of who to, helps. I did seek a counselor a week after mine died as i needed to talk to someone who wasn’t family. It helped at the time but didn’t help with the loss of missing them. I know others where counseling has been good and a waste of time.
Counseling is a personal thing and really about what you need. There is no cure for the pain. Counselling, however may be the turning point you need to cope with your grief.
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Thank you, i guess it’s worth a try x
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@Poppet1973 It helped me. It was a safe space to let everything out. No judgement, I didn’t feel as uncomfortable showing my grief to a stranger as I would sharing it with a friend.
Very few of them knew how to react, my counsellor just let me go with the flow without the ‘pity eyes’.
She gave me some coping techniques and we went through a couple of scenarios (returning to work being one of them)
I hope it works for you xx
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Thank you, it will be 3 months on the 23rd, and the pain is unbearable, im struggling without him everyday and the tears haven’t stopped since. I miss him everyday
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It was N’s funeral 12 months ago today.
I didn’t think I’d get through the the rest of my life without him. There are so many things that remind me of what we had, and our life together.
It’s up to me to carry those memories for as long as possible and to follow through with the plans we made.
It’s not easy, and I miss him every day. He was too young to die so I will live for both of us as best I can
Hugs x
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Poppet, Absolutely it is worth having counselling, they let you do most of the talking and you can tell the them exactly how you feel and they do not judge you in anyway.
I lost my husband 17 months ago and I don’t know what I’d have done without our local hospice x
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The pain is unimaginable isn’t it. It does ease, you are in the very early days but there will be some light.
I’m 2 years down the line and I’m in a much better place. Life can’t be the same but the life i have now is good.
I never believed i would live without him but life moves on regardless, some days I’ve been dragged along and some times I’ve walked along quite happily.
I will never get over this loss but i am at peace with it now.
I accept that some days can still be tough but many more are not.
Life goes on and he would want me to live it to the full.
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Poppet1973, it will be three months for me as well. I could have written your words myself. I have had four counselling sessions two before my husband died and two since. I had some concerns I had to perform but it really is your space. I do need to talk but I come out with no cure for the pain as there isn’t. Tips for self care and encouragement I was doing well". I worry that distraction techniques are a denial of my loss and I am not doing justice to my dear beloved memory. Someone wrote on here somewhere, happy to be sad’ which I’m not but I am perhaps trying to carry’ my grief. Al ot of counselling might be down to rapport and skillful practitioners.
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The councilling is in the hospice where he died.
My counselling was at the hospice where my husband died too x
I think whether it helps is down the skill of the counsellor and how well they establish rapport with you. I’m really lucky that I now have an excellent counsellor, who is both challanging and supportive…however, the first one I had just didn’t work for me.
I’d say try it with an open mind, you have nothing to lose, and if it doesn’t work for you you can always walk away or try someone else.
Good luck!
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Mine was also through the hospice at home that cared for N x
I found i couldn’t go back to the hospice, and in my area, it is the only place for counselling. I found a local grief cafe at my library and go there. The people are all widows/widowers and we have some fun conversations where we can be happy or sad.
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Ive waited 7 months for counselling and had my first of 8 sessions last week. She seems to be nice but its too soon to tell. I was exhausted that night but lighter i guess.
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I found it exhausting too.
So much emotion, guilt and anger and goodness knows what else all tied up…
It was good to have that safe space 
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I agree.
I think it very much depends on the counsellor and whether you build up trust and a rapport.
My first counsellor was ok but I felt she was repeating what she had learnt on a course or read in a text book. I didn’t really feel she understood.
Having an assessment chat soon with a different organisation and hoping I will be accepted and build a rapport with a new counsellor.
Even, with that poor first experience I want to try again.
I wish you luck and hope it works out xx
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Im on my 7th breavment counciling its good to talk but all he seems to say is tell friends how you feeling and your grief but i thought thats what counciling was for nearly 2 and hallf years since i unexpectedly lost my lovely husband i find friend think i should be over it one even suggested i need to get up next morning and think hes gone and live life again !! I told her im trying she told me im not trying hard enough … obviously she still got her husband and doesnt have a clue how i feel ,ive took step back from her now before i tell her what i really think of her
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I was told a few days before my husband’s funeral to move on and find someone else. I was with him for 22 years and just celebrated our wedding anniversary on 19th October 2024, 3 days later we found out he had cancer.I had 4 weeks with him.( he was 50)
I miss him everyday, i keep asking WHY did he leave me, we were supposed to grow old together had so many plans and dreams and now there gone.
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Poppet, whoever said that was being very insensitive x
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