Best ways to cope with loss of mother

Losing a parent
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Hi Tim

My birthday is in May also, I hope you can enjoy it when it comes. How is your new business going? Yes definitely it’s no overnight thing to recover from, I always think of her everyday, sometimes I smile and sometimes I feel like crying or do start crying. It sometimes feels like two steps forward ten steps back.
Yes it’s important to keep busy for your sanity. Do you do crosswords? Me and my dad do them a lot together it keeps your brain active too.
64 isn’t over the hill at all, and like your clairvoyant said you still have many years ahead of you.
Hope you’re keeping well I hope you all are.
How are you @Laura8 ? Me neither I’m not near being over things but some days are better than others and trying to tell myself that while life won’t be the same life can still be beautiful
Amy xxx

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It can indeed @amyrose92 . I am certainly doing more . I have just been on a hen do ! Couldn’t have done that a couple of months ago ! I even enjoyed it .
Our parents would want us to live our lives I know that . I have some really sad wallowy days still . I find this site helps me connect with others feeling the same . A lot of my friends just don’t get the feeling of loneliness that comes with grief . Glad to hear from you. Love to all xx

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Hi Amy, and how’s the weather?(nice day for the ducks no doubt if its doing what it is here :crazy_face:!!)
I think of my mum everyday too, and I sometimes feel depressed banging around this house by myself, had depression since my mum past, considering my medical state at the time I think I got of lightly, I was almost hospitalised, and yes, I can relate to two steps forward and 10 steps back, that is grief for you, keeps taking you back, frankly this weather does not help and I have taken to using my SAD light again :roll_eyes:

I think your daughter has been your salvation, she makes you get up in the morning and get on with living and with the day, were it not for her you would be in a much worse place then you are know, we all have our bad days, and we have all better days, and we all have to work at it, but our mums(and dads) while they expect us to carry on understand that and that is part of the process, when we reach the acceptance stage then we are really making progress, and do not feel bad about that, it is a natural stage of the greaving process AND it is a healthy stage, and we all need to work through that for our own mental and physical health and welfare, it is important that we go through that process properly, otherwise complications may arise later.
I think I will take up crosswords, thankyou for your kind comments regarding my age :crazy_face:!!, hope I do not end up like victor Meldrew :roll_eyes:

Blessings to all :innocent:

Timxx

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Hi Laura

That’s great to hear! I am glad you enjoyed it :slight_smile: definitely they would want to see us smile again and live our lives! As one day we won’t be able to.
Yes none of my friends really understand either and I’ve gotten past the stage of looking to them for that type of comfort. Can always check in here and we can comfort each other.
I am a bit down it’s my birthday in a couple weeks will be my first without my mum. Not sure how I’ll feel but I’m going to try my best to enjoy the day
Take care
Amyxxx

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Hi Amy, sorry to but in, first birthday without your mum is a pain, (have been there) and its also worse when one’s twin has gone too.try to take the day off and go out somewhere nice for a meal or something with your family, your mum will be there in spirit.

Timx

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Hi @amyrose92
Yes agree with Tim . I’ll
Be honest I hated my birthday it was painful and very different and I just felt odd all day . There’s no right or wrong but just try and do something you’ll get some enjoyment from .
It’s a tough road we are on xx
How are you @tim007 ? Xx

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Hi Laura, and how are you today?.
I am more or less ok, not to well last night so retired early at ten past 7,but ok this morning.
My lady friend appears to have the early stages of dementia, while her sister has advanced dementia :roll_eyes: so it is a not so much a fly in the ointment as a bloody hornet!!!, I am still recovering from my mum, if I have to go through that again it will finish me, the good news is there is a new drug know that appears to be making a huge difference, its a case of how to broach the subject, possibly via her gp I think, she lives alone like me, but with a black cat, she is a cat lover like you.

Did your son win at rugby?.
Hope you and family ok.

Tim xx

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Oh no -has she only just found out that she has it Tim ?
My sister -in-law’s mother has just been diagnosed and she has started the medication and it seems that it has really slowed it down.

My son had a rugby tournament so he played 4 games - think the won 2 and lost 2.
laura xx

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Hi Laura, very sorry about your sister in laws mother, but modern medication while not curing it, does repair some of the damage.

Clinically speaking its the neurons in the brain that are dying of, its the neurons that interconnect the various parts of the brain, not surprisingly, the most intelligent people have the most neurons and the best interconnected brains (proved with brain scans) the new medication helps the remaining neurons to work better, the holly grail is to get the brain to produce new neurons, this happens naturally in most youngish people, but as we get older the brain looses this ability for some reason, scientist are trying to find a way to reverse this process but it is probably jean related and the long term solution is probably jean therapy and that is just starting to show, but in the mean time the new medication for many people is making a world of difference.

My friend does NOT know at the moment she has dementia, but she has all the clinical symptoms of early dementia, complaining of ‘foggy thinking’ unable to multitask like she could, slightly unsure of her directions when driving locally, changing her mind about things very quickly and often for no apparent reason, these are the signs I am afraid, her sister has advanced dementia and she has the signs so 90% probability she has it, I intend to have a word with her gp and ask them to call her in for a test, we intend to go for lunch on Saturday.

Mixed fortunes for your son, Rugby is like life, you take the knocks, teach him caracter if nothing else, is he in the first 11?, many a school boys dream to make that, I was hopeless at sport, I scored a try once, the head master berated another boy there and then in front of everyone else for letting me score (a friend of mine)
clearly he took the view that I was NOT to be good at anything, public school for you,should be flushed beyond the U bend!!!, and the most crazy thing was my dad was paying hundreds every term for that(this was 1972, I was 12, same age as your son).
Its still cold out, even with the sun shining, :cold_face: we seem to be in perpetual winter, I hope the golf stream has not given up, parts of the world are warming up and parts are cooling down.

Enjoy your day.

Blessings to all :innocent:

Tim xx

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He plays for under 12 so they build
Them up at age group so they’re building up to scrums now . He likes getting stuck in .
How have you been today ? X

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Thank yous @Laura8 @tim007 it will be a strange birthday I am working til 12 on it then going to center parcs soon after so have that to look forward to. Doesn’t feel quite right celebrating the day you were born without your mum
Been stuck in all week with suspected norovirus apparently it’s doing the rounds so take care, it is probably the worst sickness bug/virus I’ve ever experienced:(

Amy x

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I’m ok Laura, I think Rugby is your sons ‘safety valve’ as a scientist you are no doubt very good at teaching him, dare say you are a wizard at maths (my lady friend was a private maths tutor)

Jo the church minister called yesterday for an hour (anniversary of my mums funeral which I basically led while recovering from selulitas) like my mum, chip off the old block, no wonder I slept for 12 hours after!!.organising AND running a funeral is hard work, especially when one is ill.

Winter returned here, so indoor jobs again :cold_face:

Love Tim xx

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Amy, you poor thing!!, stay warm in bed if you can, keep window open for fresh air and take plenty of fluids (that’s as far as I am allowed to go with medical advise!!) if you start getting worse call the doctor, how is Romy?, she may well catch it from you.
Try drinking milk if you can, it hydrates you better then water and is food as well.
Hope you are all better soon. :innocent:

Tim xx

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How is everyone doing? Trying to plan my birthday next week I am working till 12 then I’m thinking I’ll go to the shops and take flowers to my mums grave as she’s the reason I even have a birthday. And she’d always spoil me. Then my dad is taking me for dinner to a place I used to like going with both my mum and dad. It’ll be sad it’s just us now but I would like to go there as it is such a nice meal and I have fond memories of going there with my mum.
Hope everyone is doing okay. As the good weather comes in I hope it lifts all of our spirits a bit.
Amy x

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Hi Amy
I hope your day is as good as it can be . I found my birthday really difficult . Lovely idea to go take flowers to your Mum xx

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