Just a general warning about these dating sites. i have spent all morning looking at them and have found that although you can join for free, once you have joined then comes the “we want money now” i for one am on pension credit and dont get a lot. out of that i have to pay everything and certainly do not have £30 a month upwards to join these places to find a companion or whatever youare lookingfor.
i think once you get over a certain age they should be free. i am 70 and rarely go out, have health problems but would love to have someone after being alone for over 3 yrs after 49 yrs of marriage. but looking at these i will never find anyone
2 Likes
I agree about the cost involved. I did go on one for a short time but if you are vulnerable and lonely it’s not a good idea or the right reason to. I went on just for fun and to add to my already fulfilling life so didn’t take any of it seriously. Went on a couple of dates which were good but I don’t actually need or want another man in my life other than as a friend/companion and I don’t to be paying for that lol
1 Like
Have you tried meet up groups? Walking groups? Classes etc?
Dating sites you have to have your wits about you as there are some not so nice people on there and time wasters/liars etc.
1 Like
SueF1 I totally agree with you, I have joined some of these sites and they are a not what you think, you get people contacting you from 100s of miles away which is pointless and i am not being picky but most of the men seem to have no pride in their appearance, they put very little information up and even when you do see a local person who seems ok they do not reply when you do contact them. ! I met one person a few weeks ago, his profile was a lie, I like walking and he could hardly walk, he was smaller than me and very overweight. The pic he used must have been at least a decade out of date !. Plus you get bombarded with emails from the site which is tiring.
I wish there was a site that was just for friendship and companionship but I am afraid the guys seem to want a lot more than that and I don’t mean they just want a housewife !
2 Likes
@penny6
Spot on with that description. I personally think a lot of men on these sites are just bored and lonely and only want the attention/validation without putting in any real effort. Time wasters. They are happy to chat for weeks but not make arrangements to meet. Pointless.
Di
2 Likes
@penny6 agree, most men out there want one thing only and they wont get it from me. i never got past the initial form filling,i never paid for the site but i am still getting emails from the place and men from a long way away. all the sites you have to pay for and they are not vetted. one persons profile came up near me who i thouyght i recognised and realised he was aguy who is seen down the shopping centre asking for money. no chance!!! and on the other side of the coin, a lot of the women only want someone who has their own house etc, as soon as they find out you live with your parents they dont want to know, as my son found out a few yrs ago.
dating isnt like it used to be sadly. i am 70 and i wont find anyone now, selfishly i want someone whowill look after me for the first time in 18 yrs (i was carer to my hubby for nealy 15 yrs till he died in 22)
1 Like
@penny6 I wanted to make friends & joined penpal.me ,it’s a friendship site not a dating site, it has a free messaging option. The first friend i got sent a message with his whatsapp number, I watsapped him & he straight away asked for my n*d* pictures ,I felt so discouraged & low, there are no genuine people in the world.
1 Like
i recall when POF was free for everyone to just write to each other & that was 15-20 years ago. Today you have to pay. I thought it would’ve been the other way round. Tinder was supposed to be free but gives you clouded out images of who likes you that you have to pay to see never mind message.
I personally think the only way to meet someone is organically, ie, naturally, online you can be anyone you want to be, so it’s not trustworthy. I have been through all this and it drained me . Thankfully and magically, I have now met someone as I didn’t want to be alone for the rest of my life, love is to be shared. It was least expected and I certainly wasn’t looking as I doubted myself with another relationship, my husband is and will always be a hard act to follow but a new version of me showed up and he is widowed and it just clicked. When you know, you know. Openness, emotional availability, vulnerability, transparency, consistency and effort is key and he delivered on all fronts, we are spending Christmas together and after a long awful journey, I am happy. We are happy. He gets me, I get him and it’s team work , effort and supporting each other, not just through good fun times but the reality of life. He lights up a spark in me that I thought had diminished for good
2 Likes
you only have to watch catfish to knowhow dodgy these sites are
I wish you well @Ditom64 you have been on a long sad journey and now is your time
to live your life and share the love . Best wishes
1 Like
Thank you so much, we have awful been on an awful journey. I wish the best for you too x
I think I have gained dyslexia on the way lol x
I couldn’t find the edit button x
just a bright note: I am on Match and they send me 50% off all the time. to get me to sign up about $15 a month. if you make a profile, after a time, they will send discount offers. I know a man who joined ourtime. com at 78 where he met his two-year, girlfriend who is 82. I know other couples late 70s and 80s who met online, also 82 and 82 marrying at 80. they met at our adult education center. it CAN happen there is a lot of mess on there but it is possible. it is the internet after all. there is no stigma to late marriages and romance, anymore. as usual, the trick is sorting through everyone. like when employers get 1,000s of resumes.
I totally agree these sites should be banned there was a documentary on the other day about these sites and by the looks of it your just talking to AI or bots there taking your money in exchange for false hope.
Yes taking advantage of lonely vulnerable people, despicable. I had 2 dates on a site but only for fun and certainly didn’t pay to join, in fact it was a friend who did it without me knowing, as a trial thing. Those 2 dates were depressing enough, however, I do understand people do meet on these sites but personally just not for me. I actually didn’t/don’t want to date. I just wanted a male companion/friend to share things in common with and build on that (slowly). I like my independence too. The man I am now seeing found me (lucky for him lol). Totally out the blue, unexpectedly, out on a long walk, I actually got a bit lost lol (no sense of direction) and he literally did find me haha. I am a stronger believer in what’s meant for you won’t pass you by.
Bit shocked about the AI bots thing, that’s shocking
2 Likes
I have tried to join several dating sites. And yes they all want money off you and realized some are just scams. I’m not looking for a relationship it’s too early yet. Just looking for a female friend and companion. Someone I can take out for a meal a bottle of wine. And maybe go out for the day occasionally. But it’s finding someone. 
2 Likes
Yes it’s very difficult, especially when you had already found your soulmate in life and then lost them and also, most likely at an age when meeting people is harder as it is all so very different now to back then. Like you I just wanted male companionship/friendship as I already have a good circle of female friends. I built on all my connections which has given me a great social life so I am meeting lots of people. I also like alone time, peace and solitude and ironically it was on a lone walk that I met a lovely man. We are going at a snail pace (me mainly), I learnt from previous connections, to be patient, as a relationship requires a huge commitment, trust, comparability and the right timing as is important to get it right. I have without looking, ended up in a few situations that had potential but I had to be honest with myself that I was so afraid of commitment and all the emotions that surface with it. My advice (not that you are asking lol) but find things you enjoy and love doing for you…..new interests, coming out of your comfort zone, stretching yourself and being open with your heart (but protective of it too as grief makes you vulnerable). I always say trust your instincts and unlike me as I am an over thinker, just go with the natural order of things . In the meantime focus on you and your growth and the right person will come along. Best wishes
1 Like
Thank you for your reply. I hope you find what your looking for too. But it’s lonely. All I do is apart from taking my dog out and going shopping. Is lay on the bed all day with my dog who keeps me going is lay on the bed watching TV. I really hope I find a female companion. Like I said I’m not ready for a relationship at the moment. Just someone I can take out for a nice meal and a chat.
Yes I agree and congratulations although it is by chance that yer meet someone that way. For me it happened in the vets, at work that I got reprimanded for and a random time on a bus. The rest was via a free site where both are there for same reason so put effort in. Both scenarios had times of chemistry but also both equally both have to be open to wanting to meet someone
1 Like