Breaking - mum in end stages

Mum is in end stages. She was diagnosed 6 weeks ago!!! Primary bowel but secondaries liver and lungs. Liver has stopped
Working. She’s currently in hospital and has been given no
More than a few weeks max, more likely less. It’s been so fast I
Can’t get my head around it.to say I’m struggling is an understatement

It’s very hard I had the same with my mom ,she’s been gone 10 weeks,I took her to clinic they admitted her and 9 days later she passed,we were very close she lived with me for 8 years,with me and my children ,it has turned me upside down but slowly I have found some strength,I still feel so lost without her but for every negative thought pull out a positive one :heart:And just no you have done your best for her and with her and love and embrace all you have had together,it’s very hard ,sorry if I’ve gone on but just let you no your not alone xxxxx laura xxx

2 Likes

Your mum is so lucky to have you caring for her. There’s no greater gift that you can give.

2 Likes

Hello Saffy1 - I’m terribly sorry to hear about your current situation. I’ve lost both parents to cancer and my younger sister passed away just two months ago having been told she had pancreatic cancer just eight weeks earlier. Thus I am able to relate to the speed with which you now find yourself where you are. The only words of comfort I can give you at this time are that you are not alone. Many other people are suffering right now just as you are. There is strength in numbers so please stay strong and know that you have the support of everyone in this community. Take care of your mum as best you can and share your thoughts with me/us whenever you feel like doing so. You will not go unheard. Steve

1 Like

Thank you for yr replies. Still sat up the hospital with mum,today is day 13 of sitting and waiting. She deteriorates a little each day but keeps fighting. We cannot get response from her now but um sure she still hears us ??

I’m so sorry to hear this. It sounds as though it’s incredibly tough to see your mum slowly deteriorating. Health professionals do often say that people can hear you, even when they can’t respond, so do keep on talking to her.

That’s a tough situation. I have no doubt she can hear you so keep talking and keep reassuring her - she will be comforted to know you are there I’m sure.

Mum passed away on Thursday evening after sitting by her bedside for 15 days. I’m broken :frowning: it hurts so much

Hi Saffy,
I’m so sorry for your loss. It would’ve meant so much to your mum knowing that you were by her bedside with her. I lost my mum in March and did the same as you. It broke my heart. Please know that you are not on your own. This website is so supportive and full of people who really care and understand.
Gill

1 Like

Hi l lost my mom in may,my thoughts are with you I done the same as you with her all the way ,please believe me you will find some strength it’s hard I know,I still each day cry ,and have lots of different thoughts going on in my head ,but you will become stronger xxxxxx

1 Like

Hope your ok my thoughts are with you ,I find it easier if your intouch with someone who is going through the same ,it’s very lonely and hard but strength will come my love sent :heart:Laura xx

1 Like

Went to see her today, I can’t get that image out of my head, it wasn’t her. I miss her soo much

Thoughts are with you ,she’s always with you xx draw from her strength xx

1 Like

Hi Saffy

You poor love, I am so sorry to read about your Mum.

You have been very brave, it is hard sitting there waiting for what you know is going to happen and I am sure your mum knew you were there.

I was with my Mum last year all through her last weeks and although painful and very hard to bear I am so glad I was there. It is a very special privilege to be able to be with and help a parent through this situation.

It is going to be hard the next few weeks but use this site to chat to people. Everyone here is kind and no one judges you so if you need to rant, rant away.

Be kind to yourself, take even a couple of minutes for yourself each day as it is all going to be very busy for you.

Hold your head high and be proud of being such a loving daughter. I m sure your Mum would be very proud.

Mel
Xx

2 Likes

I am glad I was there, would t have done it differently. I do regret seeing her in the chapel Of rest as that’s the image stuck in my head from the minute I wake up. I know that image will fade but why did I go?!? We still have 10 days at least til the funeral. I’m not sure I can get through it but know I have.

It is such a long time to wait I know,I felt like I needed to camp outside the chapel,I know that sounds silly but I wanted to be with my mom ,you will be ok I know it is very hard ,sending love and strength to you xx laura xx

1 Like

We’ve been oferred no support at all, palliative care in hospital was dire, and no beds so in general ward, when we left we got a ‘bereavement pack’ on what to do next but that was all! Is it like this everywhere???

I’m so sorry about that ,I’ve got to say my mom was on the ward for a few days then they got her a room ,but the unit she was on I could not complain about it was for people with cancer and they were fantastic,palative care sent me a letter to see if I wanted any help after aswell ,it’s very sad that they weren’t like that where you are ,I think they should be in every hospital on each ward x

We’ve just been working our way through
It alone. As someone who
Has worked in healthcare I am stunned at lack of resources. The staff were lovely but mum went 12 hrs at one point without being turned or checked :frowning: It was so quick and so intense and
Now I don’t really know what to do where to go

Palative care should offer some help to you,and perhaps if you ask if there’s any bereavement help at the hospital or doctors,I was very lucky in being offered help with the letter the palitive care sent ,but I looked on line with how to get through the loss of my mom and this site came up ,if you have a close family that’s good x

1 Like
Back to top