Im trying to just find everything so hard and with my depression and anxiety it isn’t helping me
1 Like
Im really struggling and finding it so hard to get past anything anymore. Been on the phone to my surgery this morning been told i will get a call back from a dr but they don’t know when. Everything seems so hard to do and feel im on mh own
1 Like
It is a recognised condition of bereavement known as brain fog. We have all suffered from it. Just keep going and don’t be too hard on yourself. This is part of grief. Hopefully the Dr will ring sooner rather than later and be able to help. Mine stayed in the phone with me for far longer than the standard 10 mins. Xx
Is it i haven’t heard of brain fog before. One of my friends said i should be put away in a mental hospital for a month or so and get proper help. I sometimes think that aswell think im going nuts. Im still waiting for the dr to ring me.Xx
1 Like
@BoyZone2011
Dear BoyZone2011 I am sorry to hear that you are struggling and I wish things were easier for you. As Pudding says, brain fog is something we can suffer with. I remember thinking I was going mad. I also went through a phase that when I went to say something the words wouldn’t come out. Grief can cause all sorts of mental and physical problems. Just let your emotions come out and go with them. I know you probably won’t want to hear this but it will get a bit easier and less painful but it will take as long as it takes as you can’t hurry it.
I am just over nine months in now. I still cry most days but I also am begining to find a bit of joy here and there and am now able to do things and go places I never thought I would do or go to again.
It will be my husbands birthday tomorrow , he would have been 68 and I am feeling low today. I didn’t want to get up this morning and my heart has that heavy feeling again. I have cried a bit and am just plodding about with no motivation to do anything. My sister has invited me to dinner and says we must celebrate in his honour. I will wait and see how I feel tomorrow.
I hope the Doctor calls you soon and you get some help and comfort. Keep on reaching out as we are all here for you.
Sending hugs xx
1 Like
Awww thank you hugs back i lost my partner 4 years ago now and its his birthday on the 28th August. Im trying to get on with things but it is so hard.my dr has just given me some more tablets to go with my other one. Xx
2 Likes
Oh brain fog is real. I worked in IT for 35 years but suddenly have problems using e mail, using the banking app and the dishwasher. Can’t even answer the phone sometimes. It is apparently referred to as widows fog. Not read how long it lasts but it does make life harder. Hope the extra pills help. Xx
@BoyZone2011
I am pleased that your Doctor has got back to you. It is a shame that you just got pills though and not actual help. I went onto the NHS website and referred myself for CBT. I was lucky as they called me back more or less straight away and I didn’t have to wait for the therapy. I had six sessions and could have had more but I felt that was enough. I had developed a problem, through grief, and could not go out on my own. I was fine before I lost my husband, had confidence and went out on my own a lot. I can now go out but still don’t like it much. My confidence is still rock bottom but I am trying to build it up but it’s not happening very fast. One of my neighbours has invited me to their wedding reception in a couple of weeks. The old me would have gone and had a good time. This me is scared and trying to think of excuses and reasons not to go. How I miss my husband, it’s so unfair,
I hope you can find a way to get some comfort and peace of mind. xx
I know what you mean. I am so nervous of going out now on my own. I am not very good at walking and terrified of falling. Last time I fell it took 3 people to get me up. I am also now nervous of meeting new people. I try to push my way through. Please go and I try to enjoy. Xx
@Pudding
Ahh, thank you Pudding. I spend a lot of my days at home alone but do manage to get out and about but mostly when other people take me. I don’t drive and have rheumatoid so I understand about walking and falling when out.
Before I lost my lovely husband, nine months ago, we were planning to move to a bungalow as the stairs here were sometimes a problem for me. I have taken the plunge and have just sold my house and have found an ideal bungalow.
Am scared but am going ahead.
I admire the way you get through, I have read some of your posts and think you have a good outlook for the future. xx
Please try and go to the invitations you have received. I am lacking confidence but sometimes I think that we can over-think and make excuses to ourselves.
I was invited out to lunch by a friend just a few weeks after I lost my husband and made excuses. In the end, I did go and was nervous but once settled down I was ok.
I have to make sure I am going to be with people I know very well.
@Rome18
It’s true, it is so easy to make an excuse and stay at home where it is safe and comfortable.
I am the same as you, I only go out with people I feel safe with.
The wedding invite scares me as there will be lots of strangers there. I have no confidence to walk into the room alone. I don’t think many of the other neighbours are going either as they would be a safety net for me.
It is so true, when we lose the love of our lives we lose ourselves as well.
Thank you all for getting back. Im just on my way home now after getting my tablets. Im really nervous about been out and about on my own. Be glad when i get jome im nearly there now.
1 Like
I hope your new bungalow is surrounded by the same sort of neighbours mine is. I really couldn’t survive without them. Good luck on the move. Your limbs will appreciate it. Xx. Sandra
Have a nice cup of tea/coffee and put your feet up when you get home, you deserve it.
At least you went out and got them and didn’t ask someone else to do it for you.
@Alir
I will be honest, I don’t think I could walk into a room of strangers on my own with the way I feel now, Like you my husband was always with me. Try and see if there is anyone who you could go with.
I am sure you would be ok going to your sister’s for dinner to celebrate your husband’s birthday, She would understand if you were upset and maybe leave early.
@Pudding
Yes, I do too. My neighbours here are fantastic and have been so supportive, I know I am lucky. It sounds like you have great neighbours as well, they are hard to come by. We have lived in this house for 26 years and most of the neighbours have been here as well. We live in a close and there are ten houses. We are all mixed ages but everyone knows each other and seem to get on.
I am hoping my new neighbours will be friendly.
1 Like
@Rome18
I think there is only myself and the neighbour the who lives the other side going. She is very nice, also on her own, but she is a sociable person with confidence. She is younger than me and still works , so has that confident air that I have lost.
The wedding is the first week in September so I have time to get myself something nice to wear and build myself up. I will let you know how I get on.
1 Like
@Alir
You may have a little more confidence then. I am finding I have a little more, even going to a meeting tomorrow with our Managing Agents. I shall be nervous but determined to go. I could not have contemplated it a short while ago.
I think you are amazing moving to a new bungalow. I do hope all goes well.
1 Like
@Rome18
I do hope so, Thank you.
I hope your meeting goes well tomorrow. It is the walking into a room bit alone that I dread. It is good that you are determined to go and I admire your courage. I bet you will feel euphoric when the meeting is over as you will have done another something that you thought you wouldn’t be able to do.
I am going to see the bungalow again tomorrow , just had a call from the estate agent. My sister will come with me and she has invited me to dinnerafterwards as tomorrow will be my husbands birthday, another “first” to get through.
I wish you well for tomorrow.