I just feel so broken inside since losing my husband nearly six weeks ago. These last few days have been so difficult, not for any particular reason, just because. 
7 Likes
Hi Karen. I can not even begin to think or even imagine what pain and feelings you are going through six weeks. I can only say its only now becoming real. The last few days weeks months will not be easy for you or anyone who looses a love one. Coping with bereavement is a very personal experience each and every person greave differently. Reaching out opening up talking crying shouting is all ok. There are people who can help see you through your journey . Please keep busy find someone to talk to is very important I found. Karen the pain does ease please take care message anytime. Xx
7 Likes
Karenlouise
I lost my wife suddenly, 3 days before Christmas. She went to work at the local hospital where she was a nurse and never came home again. She died at work from cardiac arrest.
I am also completely heart broken .it is the empty house and loneliness which is worse. People say it will get better as time goes by and take things a day at a time but that is easier said than done. All our future plans for retirement have been ripped to shreds.
Her celebration of her life (we are not calling it a funeral) is this week, l am dreading it.
Like you the last few days have been difficult especially at bedtime and when I wake up in the morning. What l really miss is her hugs and cuddles, kiss goodnight, our pillow talks usually about mundane things and holding hands.
I do not like being a burden to family and others. I have lost my mum and dad over the years but my grief for them is nothing compared with the grief and heartbreak from losing your rock, soulmate, lover and confidant. Until it happens to others they don’t know what such grief is.
Take care and hopefully you will get through these dark days as hopefully l will.
9 Likes
Dear Trev58
I have also suffered sudden loss. My husband went out on his bike in September 2020 never to return. My husband had just turned 60 and I was 16 weeks off retirement. I know there are no words. But I do hope that you have family and trusted friends around you. Take care and do what you feel you have to do to get through the coming days.
4 Likes
HI
i know how you feel 6 weeks is not a long time and you will still be feeling raw i lost my husband 2 months ago and still end up crying for no reason at all hope you have people you can speak to when you are are going through the difficult times
take care
pat
5 Likes
Hello Trev58,
I am very sorry to hear your story. June my wife passed in similar circumstances nearly six weeks ago now. June was a career Nurse before she retired on health grounds due to Multiple Sclerosis. June later suffered cancer requiring extensive surgery.
June was at home when she collapsed without warning while sat in the kitchen chair in front of me. It was extremely quick sudden and unexpected and also heart related which was undiagnosed. The shock and what I saw will remain with me forever. The house is empty like me. For all we had a very difficult life due to June’s reduced mobility I would take that in a nano second to have her back. We waited a month for the Funeral which did not help. I carried June into and out of the Church where we were married all those years ago now. I only hope we can get some peace of mind at some point. I awoke before 4 am today. Long days and longer nights.
4 Likes
Im sorry for your loss, six weeks is not long and it’s such devastation, take care of yourself and do whatever gives you comfort if any, in those early days it all seemed so hazy just getting through each hour but be kind to yourself and if anyone offers help grab it and let people know how you’re feeling, sharing is definitely caring, hopefully you have family and friends around you to support you and know that you’re not alone we’re all on the same sorrowful journey, I’m only five months but still feeling sad, sending hugs to you xx
1 Like
Thank you all for your kind words and support, I keep trying to make myself contact cruse for some counselling but haven’t dated to yet. On a good day I feel like there are others who need it more and on the really bad days I’m just to upset x
2 Likes
HI karen
i am 2 months in now to when i lost my husband so know how you feel i always grab a helping hand from family and friends who keep in touch with me and take me out and about and even up to theirs it realy does help to have some onewho cares and listens no 2 days are ever the same
so do take those steps to contact cruse and never feel as if some needs it more than you always put yourself and needs first and im sure all the people on here are in the same motion as you just take that first step on a good day or bad
take care pat
2 Likes
I’ve just contacted cruse for counselling as I have dithered over wether to or not but I think the trauma of seeing him die and losing my mum seven months before him as well is going to take its toll on me so have taken the plunge, I can’t feel worse than I do I’m trying to do little jobs every day and I’m going to the gym just gentle exercise, it keeps me going, thinking of everyone xx
5 Likes
good for you and glad you took that first step to get help and and glsd to hear your doing things to keep busy its got to extra hard loosing 2 together but at least you will get the right sort of help now
keep going and good luck keep us all informed how you are doing
pat
3 Likes
Thank you for your kind words.
I had my 5 year old Grandson over for a sleepover over the weekend. Whilst lying in bed on Sundsy morning he turned to me and gave me a big cuddle and said this is from nannie as she can’t give you them any more. This broke my heart.
6 Likes
grandchildren are the best to have in your life they dont mince their words and always seem to give you what you need and although the words and cuddle was heart breaking i bet you enjoyed it and needed it
take care and lots more cuddles from your grandsom im sure
pat
4 Likes
Pat thank you for your kind words
He is our only grandchild and the things he comes out with since the fateful day his nannie passed away 3 days before Christmas is so heart warming and comforting. My step daughter (his mum) told him on that day that nannie had gone up to heaven with the angels but we did not know how much he really took in as a 5 year old and all the excitement of Christmas. But he has taken in/ picked up from adult conversations more than we knew. He has been our comfort in these very emotional past few weeks.
Trevor
4 Likes
Hi Trevor
yes they listen and hear more than anything we have 6 grandchildren but all grown up now except for 1 who is 5 months old now and at least my husband got to hold her before he passed which was lovely we always say she was born for a reason to take my husbands place place as she wasnt planned and was a bit of a shock but she keeps us laughing just like her grandad did
they are so preciouse in our lives specialy in these hard times
pat
3 Likes
Pat
My grandson idolises me. His mum says it is always grandad does this, grandad does that and he knows l am a soft touch but that is what grandparents are there for.
My step daughter is getting married next year and my wife was getting really excited about the forth coming wedding (my step daughter is her only child and was very close to her) it is so sad she will not be physically there but we both know her spirt will be there.
My wife’s passing has really brought me and my step daughter closer together l do not regard her as my step daughter but as my daughter l never had. She has been my rock these past few weeks and especially this week leading up to the funeral on Friday.
I believe things happen for a reason and your granddaughter will give you much happiness.
Trevor
4 Likes
Hi Trevor
thats really lovely that you are close to your wifes daughter and feel that she is is more like a daughter for you not many get treated like that many step children walk away but sounds as if you are lucky to gain her love and all grandads are a soft touch for their grandchldren my husband was always happy when the the school holidays came when my 2 youngest grandsons were still at scool because it meant he could plan to take them out and about and even on a weeks holiday whenever they talk about it its always remembering those times which is lovely to hear
at least you will be there for the wedding standing proud as a dad always does and as you say her mom will be there in spirit
you probably have helped each other over these past few weeks and drawn stregnth off each other too all the best for friday it will be hard but at least you will both have each other
pat
4 Likes
That’s beautiful Trevor, I also was very close to my stepfather, especially when my mum had Alzheimer’s we got really close its a precious thing especially as I could not be close to my dad due to v controlling stepmother relationships are just how you build them and you have something special there and with your grandchild
2 Likes
Caroline & Pat
Thank you for your kind messages.
My step daughter is one in a million. I know she is grieving inside but puts a brave face on it for her 5 year old son who knows Nannie has passed away but he has his own little life at school and home. She is concerned about me as l have had heart and other medical issues over the past 3 years.
Before my wife passed away l was close to my step daughter and would do things for her like DIY etc. but her mum passing away has brought us really close. She texts me first thing every morning to see if l am OK and usually a video call with her and my grandson in the evenings. These things she used to do with her mum. She is my rock at the moment. I have involved her in every decision regarding the funeral.
I am going to see my wife in the Chapel of Rest tomorrow with her best friend. I am not looking g forward to it but if l don’t go and say my last good byes l know l will regret it for the rest of my days.
She was taken away from me too soon. We always thought we would probably have at least another 10 to 15 years together. All our future hopes and dreams in our retirement have been cruel broken.
Trevor
3 Likes
Thinking of you.
xxxx
2 Likes