Like the title says, I just can’t deal with life anymore without my Mum. I miss her so much I’m in physical pain, I can’t accept or cope with the fact that I’ll never talk to her or hug her again. She was my whole world and I honestly feel like I died when she died. It’s been about 10 weeks since we lost her and every day is worse than the one before. I just want to go and be with her in heaven, I’m only 24 and I feel like I’m done with life because I’ll never ever be happy again. The only thing that stops me doing anything is because I couldn’t put my dad through that. I’m in so much pain and I just want her back so badly. Sorry to post this I’m just so unbelievably lost, lonely and heartbroken. Xx
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Hi Rach
I completely understand where you are coming from. It’s been 9 months since I lost my mum suddenly and I have no idea how I have survived. I miss her so much and still cant believe she has gone. I’ve been unhappy for so long but I have a partner and a daughter and I have to keep going for them.
I don’t feel I will ever be happy again either.
While do you have for support? Are you back at work?
Cheryl x
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Hi Rach
You are not alone. That is exactly how I felt at 10 weeks. No one should ever know that pain. I am so sorry that anyone has to go through it. My dad passed away out of nowhere in his sleep. I am twice your age and it hurts the same. My dad was in his 70’s which might sound old but really isnt - just depends on the person. He was active, fit, working, just the same as always.
Grief is real. The pain you describe is ridiculous.
But… it really does get better. I did not see how at 10 weeks, but I am at 9 months like Cheryl and for me it really has. I dont know how or why. I can not give a roadmap. I felt like I died too and all I wanted to do was be with my dad - no one else. Not my kids, not my husband, no one just him.
Just keep breathing day by day. Help your dad and your family by being there. You will get through this. Try to be motivated to do something at least one thing every day. That helps. Friends help.
Ell
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RachWBA, It certainly is not easy loosing a Mum. I lost mine suddenly just over 5 months ago. In the early days I felt at time like I was hanging on by my nails. Slowly, things will improve, very slowly. I can say it slowly improves because I lost my Dad 20 years ago. He’s still missed but i don’t dwell on him everyday.
I am suffering and struggling due to losing Mum. What you are feeling is normal
Take care.
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I lost my mum when I was 9 and I’m 18 now and have been trying to push it away and forget about it but now I’m having bad dreams again about her and I don’t know how to cope😭
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I’m so sorry to hear that you lost your mum at such a young age and that you are having bad dreams about her again. Unfortunately, trying to push grief away or avoid it can make you feel worse in the long run. It’s really important to have outlets for your feelings and somewhere to talk about it. It’s never too late to start getting support, and I’m glad you’ve taken the first step of writing things down here.
There are many other people on this site who have lost a parent and, although most of them are older than you, they will understand some of what you are going through. You should get some supportive replies from some of them soon.
In the meantime, you might also be interested to read and reply to this conversation where you can find @Tt951, who is only a few years older than you, and @DanM11, who lost his dad when he was 12: 24yrs old… My dad died infront of me before Christmas
As well as posting here, these are some other good places to get support:
- Grief Encounter offers bereavement support for young people, including online chat, email support and online counselling.
- The charity Winston’s Wish runs a Facebook group for Adults Bereaved as Children.
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Thankyou I have started a new job as a support worker so it’s distracting my emotions but at night it’s so difficult bc my bf is keeping me awake and being moody and then it makes my mood and emotions mess up so then I realise how deeply upset I am and I genuinely can’t do it anymore 
Thankyou everyone for your lovely words. It’s scary that it still hasn’t sunk in, and the fleeting moments where it does are just unbearable. I hate it so much. I get angry at people who are upset about losing grandparents who are in their 90s or something as I’d give anything for that to be mum, which is so awful. I hate how it’s making me angry and bitter and a b**ch. I just feel robbed of time with mum. She deserved so much more.
I’m not back at work, I go back in a couple of weeks. I don’t really do anything with my days except look at photos and videos of mum. It’s like torture but I can’t help it, feel like I’m going mad xx
Thankyou so much for your lovely words, and I’m also so sorry for your loss it’s like an indescribable pain, I physically hurt with all the sadness. I just want her to come back. I’m angry that because the funeral is over and things have died down a bit, everyone seems to have moved on and I’m still so stuck in the same place. The last year has been so awful with mum’s diagnosis and finding out she only had a year, it was just one bit of bad news after another. I think I’m struggling with the last year on top of actually losing mum. Xxxx
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I am so sorry you have lost your Mom… I was 17 when my dad died and I felt the same. I was always closer to my dad than my Mom although that did change after dad died. I carried on with my life as normal but inside felt I should have died with him and cried every night for many months after his death There is not a day goes past that I do not think of him but I would not have left my Mom to cope alone without him no matter how bad I felt. He would never have wanted me to give up on life and would have wanted me to live life to the full for him. I am positive your Mom would want you to live your life to the full and to be happy. Your dad and you need each other to get through this sad and difficult time. I know that it will seem that you will never be happy again but you will be. Try to write down in a notebook all the happy times you spent with your Mom. Be kind to yourself talk to your dad as I am sure he feels as devastated as you do. You will get through this but it will take time. Sending you love and hugs. Take care xx
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I completely get this. I’m older that you, 38, and my Mum died 6 weeks ago. She was 64 and she didn’t have any health issues. She died suddenly of a pulmonary embolism.
I am so angry at other people having a mum. My kids are young and I am so jealous of my husband’s mum and that she will get a relationship with my kids.
I hate seeing other grandparents with their grandkids. I never wanted to move away because I wanted to bring my kids up with my mum as a huge part in their lives.
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I’m so sorry to hear this, But I’m so glad somebody can understand where I’m coming from! I hate feeling angry towards others but I just feel so cheated. My mum had a brain tumour, but the chemo gave her pulmonary embolism, and in the end that’s what she died from, suddenly. We expected mum to o into a hospice, probably within weeks
Thankyou so much, I’m so sorry for your loss too. It’s just such a lonely time isn’t it. I know that mum would want me to live life to the full, and live for both me and her as her years were cut so short, but it’s so much easier said than done. I feel guilty for ever smiling, and nothing seems anywhere near as fun as it did when she was here xxx
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Hi Rach how are you feeling today ? It is very tough for you right now and yes you will sometimes think that you have no right ever to be happy or smile again. You will but it will take time to grieve. Anger is such a natural feeling when you lose someone you love dearly. Take each day as it comes and stay safe.xx
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Hi Carolann, that’s really sweet of you to ask- I’m ok thanks! Hope you’re doing okay. Feeling very emotional the last week or so, I didn’t really cry much even immediately after we lost mum or even at the funeral but I’ve been a wreck recently, people only need to say hello and I start weeping! I guess that’s natural though. Broke out in mumps the last couple of days as well- been self isolating for over 2 weeks and somehow picked them up! Xxx
Hi Rach I am so sorry to hear you are having a rough time. It will pass and some days you will feel Ok and then sometimes the loss just hits you all over again and it can be anything that you see or that anyone says to you quite unrelated. It all takes time and not one person handles grief better than another. I am so sorry to hear you have contracted the mumps hope you feel much better soon. Oddly enough the ending of the John Wayne film “The Searchers” always reminds me of my uncle and that usually sends me into tears as I know my Uncle Alex would have searched for me if I had been kidnapped. He was a brilliant Uncle and I wish he was here today. All fine here thanks just wish the lockdown would end. I have been busy sorting out last month accounts sometimes working from home is worse than being in the office ! Sending you lots of love and hugs take care xxx
Hi Rach,
Your story is exactly like mine. I’m 31. My mom suddenly passed away unexpectedly (she was only 58 and had no health issues). She got cardiac arrest and just like that gone. It’s only been three weeks and I am a total wreck. I haven’t left my room, I rarely eat, I’ve cried so many times that my head feels like exploding. I sit with her picture on my chest and read posts here all day. Ive also watched near death experience videos and hope that’s true so when I die I can meet mom. I am alive only for my dad. I can’t give him more pain but I’ve no will to live this life without my mom. My mom is my everything. She is my world. I just can’t function without her.
So sorry for your loss. I can totally understand how you are feeling.
I hope you see this and respond because your post is old so I am not sure if you are still active here. I would like to talk more
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Hi Rach,
Your story is exactly like mine. I’m 31. My mom suddenly passed away unexpectedly (she was only 58 and had no health issues). She got cardiac arrest and just like that gone. It’s only been three weeks and I am a total wreck. I haven’t left my room, I rarely eat, I’ve cried so many times that my head feels like exploding. I sit with her picture on my chest and read posts here all day. Ive also watched near death experience videos and hope that’s true so when I die I can meet mom. I am alive only for my dad. I can’t give him more pain but I’ve no will to live this life without my mom. My mom is my everything. She is my world. I just can’t function without her.
So sorry for your loss. I can totally understand how you are feeling.
I hope you see this and respond because your post is old so I am not sure if you are still active here. I would like to talk more
Hey mummmasdaughter I found this post aswell a few years late but I feel the same, my mum died 7 weeks ago suddenly of an anueyrsm, well before her time, and I’m struggling so much, I have 3 young kids and they’re the only reason I’m still here, I can’t cope, she was my best friend and I only have 1 other friend and I was with her everyday, now I feel lost and life isn’t worth living anymore. I really don’t know how to go on. And her funeral was Friday and it feels like every one I try to talk to, my brother and sister in law, are like you have to accept it, and it will get easier. I just sit at home all day doing nothing go to bed to repeat it. My whole world has been turned upside down, and u can’t see a way forward xx
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