Sorry I got where you live mixed up with another lady, I’ve solution in my eye for an infection. Sending love
Dear helpme 1
We’ll have a long chat later, I’ve got to go to the shop. Sending love xx
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Hi Jol/Jayne?
I’m getting lots of messages on this site but it’s difficult because of my brain fog, I’m trying to keep notes.
Got through the day pottering and spending time with Charlie, haven’t eaten yet.
Charlie been under my legs for the past 3 hours because there was a fly in the room and he’s picked up my fly phobia! Got the thing out of the window but knocked one of the ornaments down in the process and then cried like a girl. Going to eat, then wash and change into one of Carls shirts then bed. Sending love xxxx
Dear Helpme1/ Julia?
Busy but non productive day, just muddled through without much thought. Am I allowed to tell you where I live without revealing my address?
I’ve received so many messages which is good but I’m finding it hard to keep up because of my brain fog so I’ve started to keep notes.
Well what do we do now with all this pain, I wish you and I and Jol could be in contact outside of here, to talk properly. Re aftershave, my Carl wore aramis xxxx
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It would be great to be able to talk to you on the phone or letter or email. Don’t think we’re aloud to tho.
It’s been a horrible day. My cat, Boots has been poorly all week. This afternoon I found out that he had cancer, couldn’t let him suffer, had to having him put to sleep. I will get another cat sometime.
Hope you have had a reasonable day.
Oh no I am so sorry my love . Please get a new kitten soon to keep you busy . There are so many little babies desperate for a home . My love Julia
Hi , @Sukey evening my love I would love to talk to you all . All I can do is sending you hugs . Life remains very difficult especially as my son is still very unhappy . I have made arrangements today to get all my bushes out and the gardener has found a home for them . I’m not a gardener like my darling Andrew . I am having my car serviced in the morning. I feel like I have to make my life safe as I’ve lost my safety blanket love xxx
Oh my god Darling that’s horrible about Boots 
How are you today? Wish I could give you a big hug.
I’m muddling through trying to keep busy just waiting for bedtime when I can take a sleeping pill.
Let me know how you are and we can “talk”
Love Jane xxx
I feel rubbish, it’s awful. He was bleeding internally when they scanned him they found a small lump. They drew off some fluid which showed that it was cancer.
It’s like losing Howard all over again.
Not sleeping well, on my way to the Drs.
How are you doing Jane? Xx
To lose a pet after losing a partner. How terrible. It’s bad enough to lose a pet when you aren’t already grieving.
Thinking of you. Xx. Sandra
Thank you, my cat, Boots, was giving me a reason to keep going.
I do intend to get another cat sometime, can’t get my head around anything at the moment.
Feel like I’m back at square one. X
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@Helpme1 I am so sorry . I really hope you can get some help from someone . Getting a new cat or maybe 2 when you are ready will help
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Helpme1
Do you know how to send a private message, I can’t see the connection
Love
Jane
Xxxx
Hi Jane,
No , I don’t. I wish we could talk away from this site. I feel we have such a connection and so much in common.
Love and hugs,
Jayne.
Hi @Helpme1, I’m just letting you know that I’ve removed your phone number from your post.
Our terms and conditions ask you not to publish your contact details or identifying information on our site to protect your own privacy and security.
Please remember that this is a public community, so remaining anonymous is the best way to stay safe.
@Sukey and @Helpme1, for more information on how to use private messages, please see our help section. which will walk you through it. If you need any more support, please just let me know as I am here to help.
Take care
Seaneen
Hi Seabees
Could you please direct me to the page where I can talk to helpme 1 privately. She’s in a very bad way, and I can relate to her so so easily xxx
Hello helpme 1
I’ve asked if I can be directly given the private site. I’m talking to another on there and they let us swap email addresses and things.
Because I have brain fog through grief I’m not retaining all my messages and they intend to merge into one. I still check out the main site but feel it would help us both if we could speak privately. Lots of love Jane xxxx
You just click on the persons name at top of page and it offers you private or public xx
Hi @Sukey,
If you go to @Helpme1 profile page here: Profile - Helpme1 - Sue Ryder Online Bereavement Community
And then click, “Private message”, which looks like this:
You can then start a private chat together.
I hope this helps,
Seaneen
Hi, My name is Valerie. My husband, Terry, died Monday, 22nd, Passover at the 24th hour. I saw him at the hospital. It crushed me!! He turned 64 this month.
Terry was diagnosed with glioblastoma June 2021. By then it was stage 4. He went through all the treatments including surgery. My daughters and I tried to take care of him at home for a year. He spent the next year and 9 months in the hospital eventually on a ventilator and feeding tube.
It all from the beginning seemed like a nightmare!! I couldn’t believe that he was this sick even though I was living it with him. It was one battle after another with various medical staff.
Even though he passed over last Monday, I still feel like I am in a nightmare!!. I love him so much. We were best friends and wanted to be with each other all of the time.
The pain in my heart is severe. I am weak and my legs feel heavy when I walk. Everything in and outside our home reminds me of him. I am numb to condolences.
I am lost to a path forward. I feel stripped of the essence of my reason for being.
Terry was such a big friendly personality, athletic and handsome. A stranger was a friend that Terry hadn’t met yet. A very loving husband. A real caregiver as a father. My love and my playmate.
I can’t stop crying too.