Bless you . I wish it was easier for you . Saw a medium and she fetched me my husbands grandma . I am going to have a one to one with her soon
Jol
Was it your husbands grandma? I so want to find a medium. Keep me posted honey sending love xxxx
Yes but I was very close to her . I looked after her for 15 yrs till she died at 96 . I will keep u posted xx
Night Jol darling Charlie my dog ready for bed xxxx
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Night night xxx
Hi , I just bought some more of his aftershave as I had used it all. I spray it on the bed as well!
Life is so hard without him. Everyday hurts.
I am going out to local beach for a swim, thought it might do me good mentally. Hope you have a read day. My thoughts are with you. Xx
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Bless you I hope the swim gives you some relief xx
Thank you, yes it did. I’m lucky to live in Cornwall, my local beach is at St Ives, I live a few miles away. My late husband,Howard said that it would be my sanctuary, place to go and forget. He was right.
It may only be for an hour but it gives me peace until I get home.
It’s only been 5 months since I lost him to cancer, still can’t believe it.
Life is so cruel.
I hope you have a good day, we have to take it a day at a time, it’s not easy tho.
Take care of yourself.
@Helpme1 i am glad it helped you . Thanks for your wishes . I have had a couple of strange events just now . I unlocked the garage but it wouldn’t open . Then a butterfly flew in as I was going to lock it again and bobbed about all his car polishers and over his car and exited. Made me think . Hugs to you. Julia xx
@Jol, I, too, had an experience with a butterfly. We were just about to drive to the church to take my husband’s ashes to the churchyard memorial garden, and this red butterfly landed very close to me on a wall with no vegetation around. It seemed to look at me before flying off.
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Life is cruel, cancer is about the worst Nice place where you live. I live in Nottinghamshire in a very small village. Been here 22 years and still don’t know quite a few of my neighbours. It used to be work all week sometimes leaving and coming home in the dark. Weekends were husband, shopping and sometimes grandkids. Carl and I loved it being just us and Charlie. In the beginning when I asked Charlie what was wrong he’d look towards the chair that Carl used to sit in. Charlie had one of our chairs in the sitting room as his own and nobody else sat there even when we got a new suite, that part of the room was his. He hasn’t been near that chair since Carl died and as I said nobody else used it. Sometimes Carl used to tease him by sitting in his chair but Charlie would just get on it behind him and slowly ease him off, it was so funny. How are you feeling now, I’ve got to pop to the shop. Xxxx
Sorry I got where you live mixed up with another lady, I’ve solution in my eye for an infection. Sending love
Dear helpme 1
We’ll have a long chat later, I’ve got to go to the shop. Sending love xx
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Hi Jol/Jayne?
I’m getting lots of messages on this site but it’s difficult because of my brain fog, I’m trying to keep notes.
Got through the day pottering and spending time with Charlie, haven’t eaten yet.
Charlie been under my legs for the past 3 hours because there was a fly in the room and he’s picked up my fly phobia! Got the thing out of the window but knocked one of the ornaments down in the process and then cried like a girl. Going to eat, then wash and change into one of Carls shirts then bed. Sending love xxxx
Dear Helpme1/ Julia?
Busy but non productive day, just muddled through without much thought. Am I allowed to tell you where I live without revealing my address?
I’ve received so many messages which is good but I’m finding it hard to keep up because of my brain fog so I’ve started to keep notes.
Well what do we do now with all this pain, I wish you and I and Jol could be in contact outside of here, to talk properly. Re aftershave, my Carl wore aramis xxxx
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It would be great to be able to talk to you on the phone or letter or email. Don’t think we’re aloud to tho.
It’s been a horrible day. My cat, Boots has been poorly all week. This afternoon I found out that he had cancer, couldn’t let him suffer, had to having him put to sleep. I will get another cat sometime.
Hope you have had a reasonable day.
Oh no I am so sorry my love . Please get a new kitten soon to keep you busy . There are so many little babies desperate for a home . My love Julia
Hi , @Sukey evening my love I would love to talk to you all . All I can do is sending you hugs . Life remains very difficult especially as my son is still very unhappy . I have made arrangements today to get all my bushes out and the gardener has found a home for them . I’m not a gardener like my darling Andrew . I am having my car serviced in the morning. I feel like I have to make my life safe as I’ve lost my safety blanket love xxx
Oh my god Darling that’s horrible about Boots 
How are you today? Wish I could give you a big hug.
I’m muddling through trying to keep busy just waiting for bedtime when I can take a sleeping pill.
Let me know how you are and we can “talk”
Love Jane xxx
I feel rubbish, it’s awful. He was bleeding internally when they scanned him they found a small lump. They drew off some fluid which showed that it was cancer.
It’s like losing Howard all over again.
Not sleeping well, on my way to the Drs.
How are you doing Jane? Xx