Helpme 1!
[edited]
I’ve lost both parents, my nephew and friends and felt pain. But losing my husband was something else and I know you feel it too. Anyway sent my email address xxx
Hello Jol
Carl and I were also glued together. We finished each other’s sentences and thought of things at the same time. Of course we liked seeing family especially the grandkids but we were happiest just the three of us ( Charlie our Labrador) though we couldn’t kiss and cuddle much as he got inbetween us. There was a big age difference between us but we were together 25 years. Ok he died of old age but he was still the man I first met. I got the “ he had a good innings” and “ ah he went peacefully” bollocks he was my soulmate, my love my life xxxx
2 Likes
Dear helpme 1
My email address has been removed as we are only supposed to be in contact on this site. I’ve had some counselling today and despite it hurting like hell I talked about my husband a lot. I talked about how we got together and also the day he died. I feel like I’m talking about someone else. The only thing I’m sure about is that I’ll never be the same person again and I don’t mean a part of me died with him because the feeling came way after when I was trying to deal with life. I look at pills sometimes and think it would be so easy, then I look at my dog and know he’d be lost. How about you? Xxxxx
Hi Sukey,
I tried sending you my email address and they removed mine too!
Yes, I know exactly how you feel. Part of me has died too, it’s never going to be the same. It’s so hard, I cry myself to sleep every night. Sometimes I feel that it wouldn’t matter if I didn’t wake up again. My cat keeps me going, he’s my world and my focus now.
I hope the councelling will help you, don’t hold anything back, just cry if you want. They won’t judge you. I did the same as you, told them about how Howard and I met. About our wedding, I took our wedding photos in to show my counsellor, Alex. Although we had known each other for at least 10 years, we didn’t get together until 2019, we married that September.
It’s a bad time for me at the moment, really low. Signed off work, no motivation. It’s been only been 5 months since I lost the love of my life. It was my birthday last week, everything seems pointless. I will never be the same again.
I talk to him all the time, kiss his photo at night, cuddle his pillow ( I haven’t changed the pillowcase since I lost him) , I can’t!! I know it sounds mad, maybe it is, I don’t know! I spray his aftershave around the bedroom, wear his t shirts.
Do your have children? I don’t have any of my own but I have 6 wonderful step kids, all grown up and a step granddaughter, Seren, who starts school in September. She was only 6 months old when I married Howard. My name is Jayne.
Keep in touch.
@Helpme1 @Sukey so sorry for you both . It’s only 9 weeks today that I lost my life . I am going to ring both doctors and counselling tomorrow because it’s not getting easier . The support has mainly gone from family and friends . It’s a terrible road we are on and it still feels like I could leave it some times
1 Like
Hi Jayne I’m Jane!
I have one daughter and 2 stepdaughters. My daughter and son in law have been fantastic but unfortunately my relationships with my stepdaughters has deteriorated and I’ve given up wondering what the hell went wrong, I’ve just shelved it for my own sanity. My main support is my black Labrador Charlie, we love each other so much and I had him by my side at Carls funeral in April 2022. I feel all you feel, couldn’t give a damn if I didn’t wake up but Charlie kept me going. When Carl worked he wore a crisp white shirt which I wear to bed with his aftershave. I miss everything about him, his bad driving, his snoring, his messing up the kitchen just making a sandwich. I so want to feel his arms around me and I say every day “ where are you” I struggle with food and have lost two and and a half stone, my hair has stopped growing and I’ve a bald patch at the front. Grief is something else isn’t it? Wish we could talk sending love xxxxx
Hi Jol
9 weeks, I’m so sorry, wish I could tell you that it gets easier but for me it’s just getting worse. I wake up knowing he’s gone and the pain starts again. I would be “happy” if I just knew we’d be together one day but the mediums I’ve googled just want to give character readings, I want a message from my husband. Take care honey talk soon xxxx
1 Like
Hi sukey thanks again . I am joining a spiritualist church to see a medium that everyone says is fabulous., and that’s in early august . I pray I get a message from him Sukey too
Hi to all
I’m having an awful day and just don’t know what to do with myself. I’ll reply to you all individually tomorrow hopefully. My daughter is taking me to pick a wig tomorrow, it will be a laugh if nothing else. I’m screaming inside that I want my Carl back. Xxxx
3 Likes
Thinking of you Sukey. Hugs. Xx
I hope you do have a laugh , bless you xxxx
I had my awful day yesterday. A wig should be a hoot. Hugsxxx sandra
Didn’t get to wig shop, eye infection got worse and I’ve sores either side of my mouth that have become infected. Then I rang for my scan results and my nurse told me there was a new 6mm lesion on my lung. My oncologist was in clinic and though my nurse said he’d ring me when he’d finished I wasn’t ready to hear what he had to say. I’ve got that to face tomorrow. Oh Carl where are you, I need your arms around me
1 Like
Pudding/Sandra
Your days will be bad but sometimes you’ll smile at something or laugh even, then you’ll feel guilty, I’m sorry but that’s how it is. I know I’m going to feel like this how ever long I live, dying of grief and cancer. I think of the good times that I wasted sulking after a silly row or going out without him. Do you have any regrets?
Love Jane xxx
No regrets. You really are having a tough time. We hardly ever had an argument but I miss him so much. My diet is crap. I must stop eating rubbish as I am putting in so much weight which I can’t afford to do. Pity about the wig xxx Sandra
My diet is like yours and I’m drinking to much gin and red wine.
Not coping at all at the moment.
Not sleeping well.
Not sleeping well either. I am on a cpap machine for apnoea and my stats are rubbish. Alcohol not an issue. 1 glass of wine in the evening and not always that. Had to come off diuretics when husband was Ill as I needed to be able to rush to the hospital which may account for some weight gain but not all,
@Sukey
I am so sorry you are having such a tough time my thoughts are with you.
I sometimes think of silly things like sulking after an argument but my husband used to say” it’s nothing ,nothing we say means anything in arguments What is in our hearts is what matters the love there”That always makes me feel ok.The little arguments are nothing Your husband knew you loved him.All he will want now is for you to look after your health.
I know it’s hard I am suffering immensely at the moment
HugsAnnx
2 Likes
Helpme hi darling
I’m drinking lager and brandy and smoking. Then there’s the meds. Gone opposite with the eating and lost two and a half stone, I look dreadful, keep getting eye infections so my face is a complete mess. Thinking back when Carl was here and we were happy seems a million years ago and a different person. Putting one of his white shirts on with his aftershave xx