Just lost my husband on valentines night 14 02 2024 wish i could have helped him
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I’m sorry for your loss.
Are you able to say what happened.
Come on here and talk about your feelings. Just know you’re not alone. We are all in the grieving process.
We are here for you when you need to talk
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Hi, you are not alone. There will always be someone on here that understands and that you will relate to. I tried (and failed) to help Alan when he collapsed. That was 9 weeks ago now. The longest weeks of my life. But reading and sharing on here with people who understand and won’t judge has been a lifeline. Take care x
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1.67 I’m so sorry for your loss it’s absolutely heartbreaking 
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Im so sorry for your loss, i lost my husband in August last year, and i felt out of control i couldn’t function seeing my husband in pain and not being able to do anything for him is the worst, hardest thing I’ve ever been through. I am still struggling now but you do learn to cope without them. I will always miss Andrew he was the love of my life we met in secondary school and had been together ever since. You will cope my love i promise, you need some time its so raw for you at the moment.
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I can’t believe it’s coming up to nearly fourteen weeks since my partner passed away I keep getting told as time goes on it gets easier but I’m still struggling and I’m finding it hard to cope most days I go to the cemetery and talk to Ann and just sit on a bench for hours asking her how she coped when she lost her mum
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1.67
I am feeling the pain of loss aswell and everyone here has a personal tragedy also.
For me i lost my partner of 22yrs almost 2yrs ago on 5th may .
My partner Cheryl was 42yrs old and had cervical cancer ,she battled for 3yrs till she lost the battle.
You are dealing with a traumatic event in your life and no one can understand how it is unless they’ve also gone through it.
Thats why you have done the right thing and reached out to a understanding community who listen and share there thoughts and help in any way they can.
At a time like this i find you can open up more to a complete stranger than friends who just want to say what you want to hear.
Personally myself i can write what i need to get out into the open than what i can face to face.
You can’t blame yourself, theres alot i wish i could have done but the outcome was always gonna be the same.
You surely loved your husband very much and im sure he wouldn’t want you to think that.
Take care and speak with the community, they really help.xx
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Heart attack he was up walking around home then he said he was going for a sleep woke him at 7pm asked robert if he wanted anything from shop he said yes get me some cakes i came back from shop and left the cake on bedroom table i said to myself he will get them when he wakes up i thought he was sleeping didn’t find him till i went to bed at 9.30 i am blaming myself for not checking on him earlier
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1.67 sorry for your loss that must have been horrific for you and please don’t blame yourself there was probably nothing you could have done we’ve all been through that stage of blaming ourselves and like you we couldn’t have done nothing you take care 
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I’m so sorry you had this traumatic event, i blame myself at times for Andrew’s death. He got sepsis in june 2021 following open heart surgery to replace his aortic heart valve for mechanical one, sepsis ravaged his body andhe ended up having a brain aneurysm and a stroke he spent 12 wks in ICU he fought infection after infection for years with numerous hospital stays. Last year he deteriorated rapidly and the medication he was having weren’t working anymore, i asked his doctor if we could stop his medication as he wasn’t responding to it, they eventually agreed and we brought him home . We were told we would have roughly 2months with him, unfortunately after 9 days at home he passed away with me holding his hand and our sons with him. I blame myself if i hadn’t brought up stopping the medication he would still be here.
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Hi shellmiller so sorry for your loss my husband had sepsis and was on antibiotics for the rest of his life he had a burst Aortic Aneurysm when he was 53 the odds his survival 1 out of 2 don’t make it 8 hour operation he survived but lost a leg because of blood clott stopped blood flow to his leg also had lots of infections over the years and in and out of hospital but sadly he passed 10 months ago from a Limb Ischaemia his blood flow to his other leg was really bad and they gave him tablets to help the blood flow but the leg had deteriorated, you can’t blame yourself for having the tablets stopped I pushed my husband to take his and the outcome was still the same, they say part of grieving is to blame yourself don’t just take care of yourself now take care
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It’s 60 days since the sudden and unexpected death of my husband I suspect a massive error at the hospital but since he was only popping in for a routine exam I can’t understand how they came to kill him. I’m assuming it was a mistake and we don’t have another NHS murderer on our hands, but I can’t come to terms with it.
Recently I seem to be getting more and more distressed I’m not getting any support from anyone and have no family. I can’t have a funeral or cremation I can’t get any money from anywhere because it’s still being investigated. I’ve been treated appallingly and no one wants to tell me what’s going on. I keep thinking what’s the least painful way of killing myself
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Hello @TearyWidow,
I’m sorry to hear your husband. It sounds like having no answers yet and little support is so hard.
I’ve read back through your posts, and it sounds like there is so much going on in your life - it’s completely okay to feel overwhelmed by all these things. You are dealing with a lot and it’s understandable that sometimes it gets too much. We know that a lot of people experience suicidal thoughts when they are grieving. We have a video about it here which you might find helpful:
https://griefguide.sueryder.org/support/suicide
I want to reassure you that you’re never alone - there’s always someone out there to support you.
If you feel like you’re in crisis and need some extra support outside of the community, I would encourage you to reach out to one of these organisations below who can help you stay safe.
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If these thoughts of suicide become overwhelming, please call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.
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Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.
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Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text REMEDY to 85258 and talk to them about anything.
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You can also find your local NHS urgent mental health helpline.
We also offer free counselling if you feel some one-to-one support might help. You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.
I’m not sure if you’ve made a complaint about your husband’s care. If you haven’t and need information on how to do that, the Voiceability website outlines the steps here. They also offer advocacy services, which would help you to know your rights and keep you informed. You can find advocacy in Buckinghamshire here.
Please know that the community is always here for you - I’m just checking in on you to offer some extra support.
Take lots of care - keep reaching out,
Seaneen
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Sending you lots of love, i had to borrow money from my Dad for Andrews funeral, i only had an interim death certificate and i had problems with his life insurance company not accepting it. We finally had the inquest into his cause of death nearly 6months after his death. I had given up my job to look after Andrew, i struggled for money until the insurance eventually paid out. They have no compassion. Do you have an interim death certificate. Are you waiting for an inquest? My heart goes out to you.
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Thats so awful for you ! You poor thing… going through so much arent u ? Really terrible. Is there an investigation going on ? I hope u can get some support as suggested to you. Keep talking on here wont you - we are here for u xx
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Yes I’ve got interim death certificates and you’re right insurer/ pension people don’t like to accept them I was told it’s because I’m the beneficiary and I might have had a hand in killing him. I could potentially have a cremation but they’ve taken his heart brain liver spleen etc for further tests and so there’s not much of his left at the moment and I don’t want two cremations. We were just us two. We were very happy he was five years younger than me and i always thought since women live a bit longer we could die ar roughly the same time. I don’t want to live the life that’s before me without him. It’s lonely sad and empty and I can’t see the point
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Hello Tearywidow I’m so sorry about your loss and what’s happening to you my heart goes out to you what with losing your husband and all this on top it must be horrendous I really feel for you please take care
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I don’t want live anymore not without my husband
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I think we have all had those feelings. Grief makes it feels like there is no way forward. You have to remember what they meant to you. Would they want to know you are thinking like that.
You’ll feel like throwing in the towel. You’ll keep crying. But remember this is now about finding out who you are. You have to learn to be a single unit. It’s hard. It’s miserable. But it’s about taking baby steps.
Become the best version of yourself in honour of their memory.
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