Can't deal with it

what car is it ?

Mercedes Mines a Peugeot x

oh bit of a difference then. are you ready to part with Micks car ?

No my son is selling his he will have it I go on there as a named driver can’t think about getting rid of anything I will get blankets made from some of his clothes in time x You spoke to your daughter x

she still being funny with me. give me a 100 babies instead of a teenager going on 24 they are easier to cope with. I cant bare the thought of getting rid of anything of chips his van is sat on my nephews drive at moment need to sort it and mot it. He stuff is all exactly where he left it. its still his home. I told chip i would scatter his ashes where he asked me but honestly the thought of letting him go hurts too much. I have spoken to my daughter and said if i never part with him when my time comes mix our ashes and scatter us together in chips favourite place x

I have Mick at home his wishes were some to be scattered with his mom and dad take some over to Bulgaria our 2 nd home I have a love stone heart with some in I will get a ring done for my son and jewellery for me and my daughter. God the thought of doing this Micks things are exactly as left as well even change on my kitchen table left over from the last curry he brought xx

its so hard u feel like if u move anything your pushing them out. i wanted a tattoo with chips ashes then i was going to take him home to stow on the wold he had a special place there i was going to scatter him there and a bit with his parents. No im terrified he wont be whole if i separate him. I have so many things go through my head

One of my family members said to me your not separating him I don’t feel I am he will be where he asked me to do I feel we have to do what’s best for us do what you feel is the right thing for you my kids want to keep Mick at home but I think he never be free and I have to carry out his wishes one day xx I think there always with us no matter what xx never heard of a tattoo with ashes that’s amazing x

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i want chip to be with me always i looked at a ring but i need him close i looked into it and i can have his ashes mixed in the ink so that way he will always be a apart of me and i cant loose him and no one can take him away. im scared of not doing the right thing i know where chip wanted to go and at 1st i had every intention of doing it i had made plans with family to scatter him then spend some time in his home town. now the thought terrifies me. i didnt think it would hurt separating him but im scared if i do he will be incomplete for the next life and i wont be able to be with him my head is messed up x

So sad I just looked at the tattoos really amazing I did think with Jewellery if I ever lost it would destroy me I am going to look at a tattoo now thank you for that brilliant idea xx I’m cooking a casserole one Micks favourite I can hear him telling me I’m not doing it as he did ha. He cooked more than me. Take care private message me anytime you feel crap which is constant I know xx

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thats lovely about the casserole and him telling ur not doing it right. Also yes with a tattoo your never loose him he will be part of you forever and the design you choose can be something special between you and mick xx

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good night all sleep tight x

Hi Karie how are you xx

Alex im not coping at all its getting worse each day im not sure how to keep going like this xx

Morning Karie, it’s so bloody hard each day :cry:
Thinking of you x

Steph im not coping i dont know what to do i want to scream at the world. I feel so low and angry x

There’s nothing we can do when we feel like that, have a good scream and cry let it all out don’t bottle it up xx

Morning ladies aw Karie it’s hard isnt it try go for a walk find a field or a park and have a good scream. I hate when the anger hits u xx

Morning Alex :kissing_heart:

i need my mom and i cant see her. I think i may go to the cemetery and sit with my dad