Can't deal with it

thats not right you need people as much as you need alone time. im thankful for the support i have received i been lucky. Haven’t you got anyone to turn to? Dont worry your crying its normal as soon asi get into conversation about chip i cry loads. sometimes its the conversations that hurt having to use words like passed away funeral its all so final. I have the funeral still to get through i just want to bury my head in the sand and say this is not happening. Gollom i dont know if this will you but i have a notte book by my bed and i write to chip every night and some mornings. i get so absorbed in what i am writing i feel he will

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read it when he gets home. i tell him what kind of day im having my regrets what ever is on my mind because this is what i would have done if he was still here tell him how im feeling

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im here Gollom

Thank you for your thoughts, I talk to Jean all the time, I have the funeral this Friday and I am dreading it, I can’t stop thinking about it, which makes you feel worse, night times and weekends are the worst I think.

i will be thinking of you on friday i wont lie its not going to be easy i have to face this a week on Wednesday. i have no words of wisdom no magic potion to help you i am so sorry. i am looking for the same thing as you. some sort of help comfort advice quick fix i dont know its hard to explain. you talk to your jean as much as you want i still talk to chip i kiss his picture when i go in the house. i just been looking at pics from xmas if only i knew then what i know now. we only had weeks left together but thank god we did have a good christmas. i look at chip i struggle to believe he has gone left me i will never talk to him again. I am taking one day at a time im scared for the future scared of the pain. i struggle with day times thats when i was mostly with him. night im ok. i feel jealous now when i see couples i get angry that chip had just turned 60 we were meant to have time. yes i know people have died younger but this is my chip. i hope you can find the strength to say good bye to jean. she now has a journey of her own to complete. Im sending love i know it doesn’t help nothing will be talking does help ease the pain even for a moment

i think we all need a massive cuddle. we are all suffering the same pain and my heart goes out to all of you x


Thank you Karie, I thought I was going mad when i also kiss Jeans pictures, I miss her so much.
God bless us all

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your not going mad at all. you kiss her picture as much as you want,
what ever you feel helps you do it x

Just noticed, I seem to be the only male on this site, is it for women only ?

I lost mum one week before xmas. I was her sole carer. All the presents id b ought for her are lying here unopened. Things kept arriving cards etc and she didnt get the special ‘treats’ planned(she was nomally on a special diet) i am heartbroken and alone. I could never leave her except for v short periods when she was in bed early in morning to buy food/collect prescriptions, as she was prone to falling so together all the time. The house is at times unbearable yet i hate going out. Sending you hugsx

We’ve had quite a few men dipping in and out of this forum. They bring a lot to the site. x


Hi Richard, We do tend to have more female than male users, but the site is open to all. For example, @jonathan123, @Freddie107 and @Jianye are all men who have lost their wives/partners and who post regularly here. I’ve tagged them in case any of them are around to reply - or you could take a look at their posts if you would find it helpful to read their experiences.

Dear Richard,
We are given strength to carry on, it is very hard at times, you will be given strength too.
It is hard to think ahead, I take one day at a times as all of us do. You will get there.

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Hello, Richard,
I kiss my Stan’s picture every day, I talk to him and I pray for him, I pray that he is at peace. You are not going mad, it is a perfectly natural thing to do, after all, their image is a form of contact for us.
MaryL ((((hugs)))))


Where I live we have ‘hug cards’. you take one and hand it in to the office if you want a hug. Someone always responds. (It’s a Christian Community). But that does not stop virtual hugs. So anyone in need of a comforting hug give me a shout. Here are a few to go on with. (!!!) (!!!) (xxxxx) John. XXXX


You’re so sweet John. A hug coming right back at her :hugs:

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Hi. Richard. You have offended no one. We are all in an emotional pickle and often say things we may be sorry for.
Don’t try and think ahead. It’s far too soon. I thought as you do, and I’m sure everyone does, that we will never get through the pain, but we do. There is no fixed ‘cover all’ in grief. Everyone grieves in their own way. A year or ten years often makes no difference. But try not to look at the future with trepidation. No one knows what will happen, but it’s essential to go with the flow. Try not to set up any resistance to emotions. They are there for a purpose.
Try not to be impatient with us. We are all in the same boat and it’s sometimes difficult to write a message in reply.
The site is not just for women. There is a reason for so many women on the site. Women tend to express their emotions more readily than men. To actually look for help on a site like this some men would find difficult if not impossible. The old male ego; the ‘I can cope on my own’ syndrome clicks in. I have never had problems with that. The ladies on here are amazing and courageous. So are the few guys. I wish men would open up more. It would help their suffering.
When counselling a women she would let me know the problems after a couple of sessions. It often took a lot more for a man. The old macho image is still there in various forms. Sad!!!
Take it easy Richard. Our thoughts are with you on Friday. I too thought I would not get through the funeral but I did. If you have any supportive friends or relatives let them help you.
Take care. Blessings. John.


Thank you John.

pam i feel exactly the same, thank god your were there for your mom she is so lucky to have had you. x

i have no idea why there isnt more men there should be im glad you have reached out Richard please stay with us x

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