I would hazard a guess and say that the reason there are more women than men on this forum, is because women tend to have a longer life-span.
hi Richard just checking in to see how you are doing x
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Hi Karie, another bad day solicitors today, more loose ends to tie up, and now thinking about funeral Friday.
Thank you for your thoughts.
Richard
sorry to hear you had a bad day i suppose they are to be expected. There nothing i can say to stop you thinking about friday. take strength from those supporting you get through the best you can cry scream shout what ever it takes x
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It is 5 months today since I lost my husband of 55 years I have good days but I have more bad days, take all the help you are offered bereavement councillors are very good, it will be a long haul but hopefully in the end we will all get there.
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Hello, Richard,
I shall be thinking about you tomorrow, you will get through it, you will be given strength. Your Jean will be watching over you, I really believe this.
Take care
Blessings
MaryL
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Thank you all for your kind messages
Richard
Richard your in my thoughts now and tomorrow be brave this will be the hardest thing you have ever done. please lean on your friends and family and take it one minute at a time. Remember your not alone in your grief we are all along side you. I wish i could help you with your pain i really do. RIP Jean may god always be with you and you Richard xx
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Hi Richard, just to let you know thinking of you tomorrow. I honestly dreaded my husbands funeral, I didn’t want to go. I wanted to go to some place where we liked to walk and meet him. He told me he would be looking over me and I believed he would be there to meet me. I couldn’t get out of it and please believe me when I say that an inner strength does seem to come from somewhere. I amazed myself.
Take care of yourself.
Pat xxx
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Yes Richard. All our thoughts are with you today. As Pat says, that inner strength does come from somewhere when we need it. Take care. Do the best you can. It’s all anyone of us can do ‘our best’. But it enough to get us through such difficult and painful times. Blessings today and always. John.
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Thinking about you Richard . Take care.
Once again thank you all for your kind thoughts, well I did make it through Jeans funeral, and it is true, you do seem to find some inner strength from somewhere, it was a lovely service which will stay with me forever, but today all the heartache has started again.
Richard
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Glad to hear that you found some inner strength. I felt the same after the funeral. Take one day at a time, even one hour at a time and remember we are all thinking of you.
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Hi Richard. Your strength came on a day that non of us want to experience. Now you have to keep digging for yet more strength. Please allow yourself time to grieve now, do not fight it. Be prepared for people around you to move on while you feel as if you are left standing. I am not going to say that time heals but time does teach you to cope and somehow we find a way.
Members of this forum will always be here to give you support.
Pat xxx
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Thankyou Pattidot, you say that but I have heard from one person today and I don’t think this site is very supportive when you need someone to talk, yesterday was the worst day of my life, and I know I can’t carry on by myself like this, I just don’t want to live like this anymore, I am so lonely and I wish I was dead, I hate this so called living on your own and you will get better I know I wont feel better because I have lost the love of my life and I can’t live like this,
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Morning Richard, my heart goes out to you right now. I too lost the love of my life, my only love. It’s been over two years now. I can remember every minute from the day I nearly lost him as a result of encephalitis to the day he died, over two years later. I can remember but I have filters in place now to help soften the blows…acceptance. I too live alone as we were not blessed with family.
What can I say that will help? Absolutely nothing. However, I am thinking of you and I’ve been there…this overwhelming sadness and despair is like nothing else you will have ever experienced.
Everyone has their story, so please can I ask you to keep on talking to us, tell us your story, with respect for your loss and kind regards, xx
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Hi Richard,
I think a lot of people on this site feel.as you do, myself included , not.wanting to live, hating living alone. For some it does get easier in time and for others it never gets easier.
When people talk about support I find it hard to understand. I’m very practical and can deal with problems I can solve by hard work or persistence. I can’t cope with problems that can’t be solved.
What’s happened to me can’t be solved (unless I’ve missed something.)
Most days I see or talk to nobody other than the check out cashier and that’ s the reality for many people, that doesn’t bother me the only person I want to see and talk to has gone.
I’ve had all the " Join a club " “volunteer in a charity shop.” but none of those i terest me or can begin to replace what I’ve lost.
The only support i can offer is trying to understand how you feel and I’m sorry I can’t help.you more.Sadme
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I am sorry, I didn’t mean to be critical as you are all grieving the same as myself, but it seems so much worse as each day comes, and I dread going to bed knowing tomorrow is going to be the same, could I ask if anyone has had counselling, and if so do you think it has helped.
Richard
Richard, I notice you only go on this one thread. May I suggest that you explore the site a little, perhaps get involved in other conversations. There are many beautiful people here with so much to offer; experience, suggestions, words of comfort and most of all love and understanding. You are not alone. Xx
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Richard that’s ok , i didn’t take it that way.
I know what it’s like to feel.so very desperate.
I had counselling, at first it helped to have somebody to talk to because I have nobody.
In the end I didn’t even know what to say , I just felt i was saying everything over and over again.
Cruse has a long waiting list (depends on area you’re in)
It’s important to find somebody really experienced in bereavement, i don’t think mine had a clue how desperate I was.
A neighbour has had nearly 2 years of CBT on the NHS and he feels as bad as ever.
Everyone is different but I think it’s worth trying anything that could help.
This site has online counselling or MIND often has counselling based on what you can afford to pay.
If it only relieves the pressure it may help, Sadme.