it hasn’t got to me at the moment but i can see me bubbling over at some stage. A lot of people are not coping at all. Its a awful thing we have to do, but it has to be done, I had a rant on facebook yesterday about people flocking to our local parks. I was actually fuming. I haven’t seen my mom in weeks im not seeing my grandson unless i face time him and idiots are still going out spreading the virus if we all stayed at home it will be over sooner then we can all go out and see loved ones. I am not saying we are special but us who are grieving are struggling and staying at home cut off from the world is doing any of of us any good then there are idiots who see a bit of sun and head for the local parks. If sitting in the garden is good enough for us then its good enough for them x
I know Karie, selfish, entitled a*******s ruining it for everyone cos they can’t stay in the house for a couple of weeks 
the longer they wander about willy nilly the longer we will be on lockdown. Do you see that bloody idiot chief medical officer we have up here in Scotland has flaunted the rules after preaching to us non stop do they think it does not apply to them. I hardly think it was essential to visit her holiday home twice! Should have been sacked instantly instead of allowed to resign. I will get off my soap box now 
maybe I am going a bit stir crazy 
V xx
mrs colt
no i was not aware of any of that, one rule for one another for the rest of us. These people are self centred and the virus will continue to spread if they dont just stay in. Its logical stay in stop the spread then we can all be free to live our lives.
I have a horrible feeling that because she resigned instead of being sacked she will retain her pension rights. It is just another example of injustice in this world. Many of our husbands never lived to draw their pension after years of hard work. to think that their contributions go towards her pension is more than I can bear at the moment. Her lack of sensitivity in the light of what so many people are suffering at the moment is beyond belief.
i have just seen it on face book and its bang out of order and i agree with you about our mens pensions chip was only just 60 the week he passed
Hi Karie. Sounds as if your having a bad day like me today,
Richard xx
im not to bad today Richard. I take it your struggling today whats you been up to x
Hi, I hate Mondays, can’t believe its 7 weeks tonight that I lost Jean, and it seems to be hurting more as each week passes.
Richard x
Richard
my love you have to stop counting the weeks and days it makes it all so unreal. If you are like me it feels like yesterday you was with Jean but it also feels like a million years ago it happened. If Mondays are your worst days then you must plan ahead something that will keep you occupied save up some programmes to watch put that day aside to do some gardening. I so wish you were not isolated i truly believe you would cope a little better with people around you or even just taking a slow walk to the shop for a paper. its obvious you are surrounded in memories which are hurting you. i have filled my living room with pictures of my chip i need to see him. However i can look at his picture and smile yes it hurts too some days i look at his smile and just say oh my chip why. My daughter in law chats to chip as if he was still here like i do and it warms my heart. She says he was her pal they often spent time together early mornings before she went off to work they would chat and put the worlds to rights. The girls sit and tell me now when he would have a moan about me and say she off on one again and sometimes mimic me behind my back and it makes me smile. I have recently heard when he was out with the girls in the cars he would show off doing his sterling moss and i found out he did it in my pride and joy at the time my jaguar. If he was hear i would have told him off now i just giggle and say did he the little sod. Richard look for the happy memories they are there i bet you have tonnes concentrate on them and your find yourself smiling x
I think its having someone to share your memories with. It’s so hard when we’re on our own x
Karie, I have pictures about the house also, sometimes they make me smile as I talk to Jean, and sometimes not, this isolation isn’t helping as I can’t see anyone only neighbours at a distance, but you get the feeling that they don’t want to talk to you anyway, think sometimes people say the wrong thing without realising.
Clare
i couldn’t agree more and there are a lot of you alone im am lucky. I was on my own for a couple hours the other night watching casualty me and chip always watched it together the girls were in the garden. I reached out for his hand from the next chair to me. So honestly guys you have more about you then you give yourself credit for i dont think i could make it with out my girls. I am a emotional person and i dont cope well with my own company. So remember you are all very brave. Clare are you sure your alone or do you feel he is with you. i feel chip is still at home. Share your memories with your loved one. I looked at chips picture the other day and had a moan about the girls to him he understands x
they do want to talk but they dont know what to say. personally i find it better when people speak to me like normal yes there are times i crave love and affection there have been times i have got into bed with my daughter and curled up with her like a child. Even my girls dont know what to say i just get " I know Mommy ". people around us are not grieving like we are we know what we had and what we have lost. This is why this site is great. we all understand. are your neighbours the type that will sit out the front and chat over the fence with you. talk about things that are so mundane but pass the day away. I pray for all of you alone that this covid 19 will clear up ASAP. I cant wait to see my mom i talk to her every day but miss her so much. im looking forward to going somewhere with the grandson. walking the dogs in the local parks. My daughter is due to have her baby any time im worried when i will get to see him i cant be there for her or help her. 2020 has been a awful year and i cant wait for it to end x
Karie and Richard
Yes, I do feel like he’s here, but not all the time, God’s probably got some jobs for him to do I think 
I do have our 15 year old son, but as a typical teenager he does his own thing mainly.
On about photos, this might sound weird, but I seem to see a change in his expression in his face when I talk to him. Sometimes he looks more sympathetic at times. Probably my imagination! It’s funny, my Davd used to jokingly say J was void of emotion sometimes, well I’m making up for lost time now 
Karie, they talked all the time prior to all this happening, as someone said to me it could not have all come at a worse time, and now feeling unwell also, I hope all goes well for your daughter
Its knocked people’s confidence Richard. Everyone seems to have stopped talking too. Hopefully it wont be long before things start to improve.
Clare, I pray that you are right
Had you been together with Jean for a long time Richard? Dave and me had been together for 19 years, sometimes he used to tell me it felt like 190 :). He was always very reassuring if I felt ill or worried. I hope that we will be able to think of them fondly soon, rather than with this terrible pain of grief and isolation. Bless you Richard.
Clare
they just dont know what to say to you Richard what can they say. I hope you feel better soon. Things will get better just one day at a time x
How old was dave clare x