No I haven’t you know and the more I think of it the angrier I get some horrible horrible nasty things and being in the frame of mind I’m in I’ve been questioning myself n just thinking loads xx
i assume it was about your loved one
Oh yes n that’s what’s getting to me like really getting to me xx
Like i said before people coming out the wood work now and saying stuff are not worth listening to. I would put odds on it thats its made up crap or exaggerated
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I know but it’s hurt me 
so much and people know these things will hurt me as everyone knew how much we loved each other xx
In your heart do you think its true x
No but then I guess I’ll never know if he loved me as much as I loved him but everyone knew how much I idolised him looked after him lived my life for him and now I just don’t know last week I was hurt sad this week I’m angry very angry just want it to stop leave me alone xx
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normal emotions Alex. You know if he loved you. i didnt know i loved my chip as much as i do and i knew he loved me but now when i speak to people it seems like i was the be all and end all to him. Only you know what you two had. People used to hear me and chip having a ding dong and wonder why we were together. They didnt see what we were like alone the special things we did and said. We argued because we cared
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How are you feeling today Karie x
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okish i suppose. How are you x
Ok ish aswell, feel down about the extended lockdown although i knew it was gonna be another 3 weeks, I was hoping, just need to cuddle grandkids 
x
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dito but honestly i think it is going to be longer. we just have to battle through it xx
Yes you’re right. How’s your daughter, she hasn’t got long now x
3 weeks so i guess im not going to be seeing my new grandson which is breaking my heart its bad enough not seeing Greyson. I miss my Mom and im missing Chip worse year ever xx
It is the worst year the kids change so quickly, my grandson’s birthday is next week, he’s going to be 2 my heart is breaking not being able to spend the day with him x
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im so sorry you cant be with him but as soon as its over im sure you plan on spoiling him x
I certainly will 
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are you about Richard?
things are getting harder. i am missing Chip more each day and i am feeling lonely. Its so hard to deal with. I dont know how to cope with my feelings
Karie, I remember your early posts when you were sorting everything out at the beginning , and you was giving everyone advice on your posts. I think it’s hitting you now, the lockdown aswell makes it worse. Xx