My son died by suicide at end of Feb this year. Was devastating. I havent functioned at all, no shower, cant eat just staying in bed. How do I start to do the basics? Im so afraid and annoyed at myself. Everyone else seems to cope but I cant. Help me please
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Hello, my deepest condolences for the loss of your precious son, our children are the most precious gift from God, im so sorry for your loss, I have no words of comfort, grieving for our loved ones is the most painful thing we will ever go through. We are here to hear what ever you want to say, we feel your pain, may God bless you
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Thanks Lightmary. I have read other posts extensively and really need someone to help me out of this inertia. It doesnt seem normal ….ive had so many traumas andthis has broken me. He was 32 and not living on the same country. I need to get out of this state and dont kmow where to start. I want the pain to stop.
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Hello I’ve just found this site.
My son also died by suicide beginning of March a week after his 19th birthday.
I have other children and a supportive family and friends which are helping.
Happy to chat x
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Deebuzzybee I am so sorry for your terrible loss. It is like no other. I thank you for replying to me. Just wish I could get a spark to do something and cant. Im really struggling. X
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I think as I have my children I have had to carry on but I’m only running on half the energy i usually have as my brain is so full of guilt and sadness and I miss him so so much.
I’m struggling to see friends as I’m feeling a little overwhelmed but I’m trying to look after myself, maybe just try and give yourself some care. A nice bath? I have been binge watching rubbish tv for distraction but I’m not sure if that’s good?!
I have referred myself and my older son to suicide&co for therapy maybe have a look at there website ?
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I try and live like he would want you to, lying in bed isn’t helping you and even if it’s to go for a walk and get some fresh air. It’s the hardest thing in the world but take each day a step at a time.
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I’m so sorry, that must be devastating. Your feelings are normal for someone grieving. You have to give yourself time, grief is different for everyone. After my partner died I just sat in his chair and ate very little. I couldn’t function. I had to will myself into the shower and wore the same clothes, just whatever was lying on the bedside chair. I found that getting some fresh air helped, and going out to the small local shopping centre for a coffee. I hope you have other family who can support you as it’s going to beva
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Sorry, posted that before I finished it.
@Hopelessmum unfortunately I can’t help you as I’m just starting the grief journey but I just wanted to let you know that I feel your pain, I haven’t lost a child so can’t imagine what you are going through but my husband took his life just over 2 weeks ago and left me alone with our 4 young children, I am struggling with eating, it feels pointless, I haven’t eaten properly since it happened, I just eat when I feel dizzy for survival and have worn the same clothes on repeat, showering was hard as we used to shower together and it brought back too many memories, I have found that this group has kept me going, helping me understand that I’m not alone in what I’m going through, please stay strong, sending hope and prayers for you that things start to feel more comfortable soon
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Thank you for your replies and I am sorry for all the losses you have all endured.
I think this was one in a lifetime of traumas and my mental health although never great is at an all time low.
Im trying every day but cant function. I have reached out to my GP and have a referral to community mental health.
I miss my son so much, 32 and the apple of my eye. I feel devastated, hopeless and yes selfish that I feel that I cant move forward.
I really am glad of your help and suggestions and to a small extent the knowledge that others have felt a bit like me.
Never apologise, it’s a trauma that most people are lucky not to have gone through. We understand but please keep doing little things, one step at a time. I know it’s hard but you’ve got to do it for him 
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@YvonneL I needed to hear what you said. Noone can do this but me. I am going to try really hard tomorrow and will let you know how I get on if thats alright x
Stay strong 
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I’m always happy to chat
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Sorry for your loss but you should in no way feel selfish about not moving forward. Your grief is personal to you. I didn’t lose a child, it was my partner eight months ago and it’s been awful. If it’s other people making you feel like that put them straight about your feelings. if they’ve not walked in your shoes they haven’t a clue about what you’re going through. Never apologise for your grief, you’ve suffered a huge loss. Take care.
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@Norma1 thank you. I have made a decision to try and live as best I can and really try to get back to functioning. I got up yesterday and sat outside for a while then came inside but stayed up and out of my bedroom.
My husbands relief was all over his face. Hes such a good man and I realise that even though he is now all I have I dont want to miss a second of him and the fear of losing him was making me retreat to a very dark state of mind.
I need to box up the thoughts of wanting to end my pain at my sons loss and to try and learn to live with it somehow.
Thank you everyone for letting me express my thoughts and you will all never know what help you have been to me. I also realise this is an ongoing battle and this site is invaluable, especially when, where I live, there is no help even when you ask as the mental health sevices have collapsed.
Ill keep posting and if I can help anyone I will x