My partner passed 6 days ago i cant go on i cant see a future im suicidal
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@Sad27
I am so very sorry and my heart goes out to you.
Please know that you can go on and there will be a future for you but at the moment you are in deep grief, shock and disbelief. It is too early for you and the pain is still very raw and new. I think most of us feel that we don’t want to go on anymore at first, I think it is a normal feeling.
In the early days of my grief I could not think any further ahead than the day I was in. That helped me a bit as if I thought about the future it just overwhelmed me. Take each minute at a time. Allow yourself to cry, scream and let all of your feelings come out.
Do you have anyone to support you?
Please keep on reaching out and posting on here as there are so many people who will be able to help you. This site has been a life line for me and so many others.
Sending you strength and hugs xx
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Please contact someone like Beyond Blue, or a similar crisis line and talk to them. You need help and support to get through this very difficult time. No-one can do it alone. You just have to get through one minute, one hour at a time. I hope you can find strength in the love and support of people who care for you. Take care Sad27.
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I felt like you, indeed I still have my suicidal moments now, 7 weeks later.
I don’t know your situation, but I know my beauty would be devastated knowing I had taken my own life, she wouldn’t want this for me, no matter how hard this is.
I hear her, nurturing and pushing me forward, she wants the best for me, whilst she prepares a beautiful place for me to meet up with her, when the time is right.
If I commit suicide she will be annoyed, upset and kick my ass, this keeps me from doing it.
Please consider that suicide is not your future path, and that your loved one wants to see you recover, and later on, thrive.
I feel I have no future, but trust it will reveal itself after I have grieved, I will not move on, but I will move forward somehow.
Please reach out , be heard and accepted, we understand.
Take care, and take time.
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Hi @Sad27,
I can see that you’re new to the community. I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread.
There’s always someone out there to help you through this. We know that a lot of people experience suicidal thoughts during their grief journey.
If you do feel these suicidal thoughts or feelings get too much, you can reach out to one of the following organisations who are always just a call or text away anytime you would like someone to talk to:
- Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.
- Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text SHOUT to 85258 and talk to them about anything.
- You can also find your local NHS urgent mental health helpline here.
- If you’re worried you’re going to hurt yourself, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E.
If you’re interested in counselling, we offer free sessions at Sue Ryder. You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area. We have also recently launched a Grief Guide Service, which provides articles and interactive tools to help you cope with grief. If you’re interested in understanding more about grief and how you can manage it, please visit Grief Guide.
Please do take care of yourself,
Becca 
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@Sad27 i am extremely sorry for you loss like the other kind response to your posting i went thru all these emotions even taking my own life but i know my late wife would hate me for such thoughts .
It is very early days and the pain af such grief is overdue but please get some help your doctor could be a first stop talk to someone who knows how to help you over this period.
Everyone here is here to support you 
Please take care of your self
Sending hugs mike b
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Do you have any family ? I get a bit of support but spend a lot of time alone and lonely . Its tough to do but we have to keep fighting . Reach out to your gp , family , friend or a neighbour . Please take care .
Love Angie x
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I lost my wife of nearly 50 years a few weeks ago and despite wonderful support from my family and friends it is very hard to keep myself positive.
So much seems pointless. We moved to a lovely village and we had such plans for our house and garden, none of which she will see completed.
I don’t want to pour out my feelings to my children as they have their own grief to deal with.
I know I’m not the only person going through this but that doesn’t seem to help.
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Hi @Mopreston i am so terribly sorry for your loss i know what you’re feeling i lost my wife of over 50 years very suddenly. It so good that you have support from family and friends i had nothing friends, neighbours wouldn’t even talk to me as if i had done wrong .
I understand how you feel about the garden we both created our haven of wildlife an plant,trees over a 50 year period i sold the hot tub too many memories and created a lovely patio with ferns grasses and a large stone seat i am sure with all the improvements would be so proud of what we achieved. In the garden her memories are still there so finish your garden she may not be with you but her soul will remain in your garden forever i am sure she would Want you to continue the work as a lasting memory
Take care mike
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It was very sad to hear of your problems with friends, etc. We blame ourselves for what has happened, well I did, and to have others blame us as well makes it even worse to bear.
I could have easily moved out of our new house, but as you say, her soul will remain in nearly everything I will do and I will try my best to make sure that her plans and dreams for our house and garden come true.
Everyone I have spoken to who has lost a loved one say that time does heal the pain somewhat, but that the 1st year is the worst and particularly birthdays and anniversary’s.
My wife is buried at our village church, which is only just over 100 yards for our house. I know this should be a comfort but every time I look at the church I feel so sad that she is laying there by herself without me to comfort her. It does however mean that I can go and talk to her whenever I want.
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Hi your village and the closeness to the church sounds really idyllic there is no need to be sad she may be in the church in body but she is with you in all your memories you must be so fortunate to live in such a lovely village i live in the city of Oxford with al the hustle of city life
Take care
Mike
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I’m sure that I will come to realise that what you say is true.
I hope you also come to terms with the grief and loss and that new friendships are made.
My wife came from Oxford and I now live in a village just south of Marlborough.
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Thats incredible what a small world its so nice to chat i know at times I’ve hit rock bottom but there’s always someone who can help lift me back up
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I will keep in touch, if that’s ok.
Richard
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That would be so nice
A particularly bad morning ,
It’s all I can do to stop myself from cry. I have to keep taking big breaths otherwise I will breakdown.
Why is that everything you to brings back the feeling of total loss.
Sorry to have have burdened you, when I know you are going through the same.
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Hi just sit back relax its ok to cry and remember what you had but sadly taken away try to take small steps nothing can erase the love and memories but try to think what would she want you to do.
Perhaps do a little in the garden or just go to the church and tell her how you feel it may help, i can’t go back to my wife grave its a long story another day.
Please take care
Mike
I have been to the church to talk to her,
which just made even more sad than I already was.
A chat with a next door neighbour managed to brighten me up.
Your situation seems much worse than mine, which is sad to hear.
Richard.
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I am so pleased that you have kind understanding neighbours i hope your little chat helped it sometimes really helps especially when you are sad and alone.
I only wish i had neighbours who could perhaps help me occasionally but that would be a true miracle sometimes I feel that i have been abandoned i haven’t seen or even talked to our close neighbours they just ignore me you are so lucky.