I hope you find someone to talk to or at least listen to you…
I’m trying my best to make a start on meeting people. This is probably easier in a small village.
Take care.
Richard.
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I agree smaller communities seem to have a much better understanding than estate’s that are so impersonal. When we moved to North oxford summerhouse the neighbours were so friendly but over the years .most have moved on now we have a largely mixed immigration population.
I dont think that the neighbour next house has spoken to me or anyone else for years he is known for his arrogant and somewhat abusive manner so everyone keep a good distance away. We do have a Syrian family who have been very supportive 
within there faith they look out for me that I’m ok.
Other residents around we have known for years just ignore me yes they all said let us know if we can help then when you ask well you can guess the responses.
Somedays i haven’t seen or talked to anyone i think the loneliness is worse than the grief.
Thinking about things definitely makes it worse.
I do seem to talk to her quite a lot and also looking at pictures of her.
Sometimes it helps, other times it, for some reason makes it worse.
Richard.
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I know it can be difficult when so many personal possessions can bring flooding back memories. After time it does become easier.
Hi just a nudge how are you feeling today i do hope your well.
Kind wishes
Mike
Bad morning. I’m diabetic and sometimes don’t feel that good first thing anyway and what with that and the grief I felt totally at a loss with no motivation to do anything. Luckily my son is staying with me for a few days and that brought me sort of out of it.
Family are over now, so apart from feeling down every time we unpack something for the loft, I’m ok again. I Intend to call in my new normal.
I do wonder how people who lost loved ones during the pandemic coped.
How are you today?
Hi im ok very tired spent all day Friday in hospital picking up one of me tool roller cabinets caused a hernia in groin area surgeon was going to operate but we have delayed until i can get cover for looking after all the animals.
I know i should not have done this but at the time i thought nothing of it. What a stupid thing to do not looking forward to operation never been in hospital ever.
Otherwise im ok been so busy catching up in my workshop just collapse at 9pm completely tired out.
Sometimes i get to involved i think she’s going to give me a shout tea is ready then i come back to earth and think your not here. I sometimes get the feeling she is around in spirit not body its a strange feeling.
Take care
Mike
Hope all goes well.
Take care.
Richard.
Another morning and I’m forcing myself to get up.
It all seems a bit pointless,
Maureen would say I shouldn’t think like this as I have a lovely family to live for. Perhaps we all do to much thinking rather than just getting on with life.
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Sometimes our thoughts cloud the reality of life. I like you constantly thought of my loss but know yes i dont forget but my life must continue very different to what i was accustomed to
Take care mike
Another morning to struggle to get through. Still not believing Maureen’s gone.
On the verge of tears.
I am so sorry that you are missing your wife our lives change so much when our loved ones are gone you have to be strong enough to overcome your emotional grief.
I know it is very difficult but I’m sure she would wish that you can carry on with your life its never as normal but with time it does get easier.
I was never close to my wife after the children were born our marriage just collapsed though we were together at the end i still love her but i new that she had never loved me from day one
Take care mike
We were very close from the day we first met at her 18th birthday party.
I asked her to marry me two weeks after having met her and she said yes. It was the best thing I ever did…
Which is why I think my grief is so hard to bear at the moment,
I can appreciate how you much you loved your wife my circumstances were very different she destroyed my life over her affairs and everytime i forgave her until she moved her lover into my house i couldn’t cope so i attempted to take my own life it was only a very close friend who found me and call an ambulance.
I had found out that she had psychotic problems and threatened to harm my children who were the love of my life. I had to just carry on with this situation or lose my dearest children.
Some Years later he died i was ecstatic at last my wishes has partly come true all i wanted then was my wife to die and my life could return to normal, i had satisfaction that all the hurt and pain 
had ended.
And yes i looked after her in a loveless marriage for some years then she suddenly became ill resulting in her death. Sure i was sorry but something inside me said I’m free.
I hope you do not think that i am a bad person
Ihave nervertold anyone about this perhaps now is the time .
Mike
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I struggle to get up. I used to be up as soon as the sun was up and later my beautiful wife would shout, yoowhooo out of the window and id come in and make us breakfast, now im lucky if im up before 10 30am its so sad
I obviously upset you regarding what had happened in my life i understand that you may think i am a very callous person i am sorry if thats how it seems
.i am going to delete my account on this site as i think too many people hijack conversations without any meaningful support
Hi Sadnow - please do not delete your account. I think you were very brave to bare your soul in your earlier post & I do not think you are callous at all, life is what it is - warts & all. You have plenty to offer on this site & perhaps plenty to gain. Take care, Alison. x
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Thank you for your kind words. i think it’s time that i told my story of how my life was destroyed because of her even to the grave she was buried with that man. I had no idea that she had planned a double grave. I think that she wanted to hurt me right to the end.
I did go to the funeral only because my daughter and son wanted my support but now I will never visit the grave in my life time.
Yes i grieve but not thru her not being here but the loneliness of losing friends who she pushed away with her behaviour. When everyone found out about her affair they said i was weak and should have thrown her out they didn’t know what she would do to the children the police would not help i was alone with a psychopath.
Mike
Hi Mike,
As I said earlier - I think you are very brave for voicing your story. Every life is relevant & meaningful, by that I mean yours. You are obviously a very kind, caring person as you looked after her when she was ill - so in my eyes you are the better person after what you went through.
And you are right - you are free now. Live your life my friend & be happy - you deserve it. You have the chance to make new friends or perhaps rekindle friendships you lost through her behaviour.
Please do not leave this site because you think you have upset someone with your story. You deserve to be here as much as anyone, to gain what you can from it - as we are all trying to.
Take care & best wishes, Alison x
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