I’m soo sorry for your loss .
Just a few weeks ago I lost my husband , the love of my life, unexpectedly and unnecessarily (doctors on strike, ambulance too late). I was nearby … but no mobile signal in the area …… I called and called his mobile … finally the phone was picked up. I was sooo happy … but there was a nasty nasty policeman on the phone . I INSTANTLY knew what that meant : my love was dead !!
The policeman had taken his mobile, hos wallet and other precious items. He didn’t allow me to see my husband for 2 days.
I then had to drive 2 hours to the Coroners:
There was my husband laying on his back with his sailing jacket …. looking totally alive … as if he could just walk away with me.
His black eyelashes were flickering and I could see his beautiful blue eyes underneath … he was clearly alive …. I kissed the skin on his face … but it was ice ice cold !! I can never ever forget this in my life !
I’m so sorry for your loss. And the way you were treated when it happened.
Theres really nothing I can say to make you feel any better but you have done the right thing posting here.
We are all on this grief journey together and we all understand the pain and devastation you are feeling.
Please keep posting , there is always someone to listen
Take care
Same here, out for a drive Wednesday afternoon, but Thursday morning it was just me. It is devastating and lonely, not being the centre of her world, and the centre of mine just not there any more, ever. It was quick for her, I’m glad for that. I’ve had 2 “firsts” since January, her birthday and our 32nd anniversary on 2nd May. Truly awful. I hope you have some friends and family around you for support, we all need it.
So very sorry.
It is devastating.
Please continue to share on this site. You will be connecting with people who truly understand.
Sending big hugs
So very sorry.
It is so very hard, such a heartbreaking change to our lives.
It still feels unbelievable. One day you have your ‘normal’ life and the next it has been ripped away from you.
Take care and continue to share on here x
Friends and family has also totally changed since my husband died. My 2 sons are going on holiday or constantly going to out with their friends … drinking, eating , enjoying themselves = distracting . Most neighbours have ‘dumped me’ and never speak with me any more … they go onto the other side of the road when they see me. They don’t want to be reminded of ‘death’.
My ‘normal’ life is 100% gone … it’s as if I was sent with a space ship onto another planet. Everything I did with my husband for decades …. Our only hobby was sailing on our sailing boat …. very often to France and the Channel Islands… This is now totally destroyed … I can’t sail. 38 foot sailing boat on my own.
Instead I’m told to find ‘new hobbies’. … like going to ‘Knitting Clubs with old ladies’ .
So sorry.
It is such a dramatic and devastating change to our lives.
I have looked at what clubs and activities are around (to keep people).
Very little and what was on offer, definitely not for me.
It also feels strange and I have to say so artificial to join groups.
Take care x
Hi, yes I’m afraid “normal” life has gone. I get told I’ve got to find a new normal, but I don’t want to, I want the old one back.
I did have hobbies but I’m really not interested now. I’m trying to pick up the pieces of my life but it’s so hard.
And like you, I am not ready for old peoples clubs (although I am 71 so some people would regard that as old)
Its just a case of getting through the dreadful up and downs and hoping there’ll be a light at the end of the tunnel, where the pain will ease and the missing won’t hurt so much.
Take care
Big hugs
Yes Clubs feel very weird and artificial … and I’ve never been in any clubs except our sailing club …. but that was very different …. It was only getting together after all boats sailed to another destination and then eating afterwards together.
Yes I’m afraid our lives are going to be very different now.
It doesn’t matter what age s person is … what matters is their mentality …. some people are in their 90ies and have a young mind.
But when you you see ‘old looking’ ladies with pleated skirts etc …. knitting together… what a nightmare …. if this is our future ……because all the interesting people are still together as couples.
Some people already have an old mentality when they’re young……
Youre so right. In my head I dont feel old, although my body tries to tell me differently.
I’m definitely not ready for old peoples clubs
Hi I agree with everything you all have said. My husband and I did everything together so trying to go out and do things on your own can be so overwhelming. Joining clubs as you say is not for me. What do we do now though? I am so lost. By the way @Nimrod my husband used to have a horse called Nimrod. That was many years ago when I first met him. Love to all.x
I’m almost 71 too and I agree clubs and group things are not for me .I have looked at the local ones to me and going by the photos I wouldn’t fit in at all.I have always had a young mind like you my body tells me different but my style and interest are nothing like knitting and playing bingo and singing old songs.
I do knit, but not with a load of old prople, all sat round in a circle. No definitely not me 
My husband and I never liked Clubs …. so now I’ve been forcing myself to go to Clubs .amd tgen I feel so terrible …. because it’s also not for me.
But then ….I would like to meet some people …there must be other interesting people out there like us … but HOW on earth can we find these people ??
I just went out in the garden, Everything reminded me of my lovely husband.
He did so much to it.
I just stood there and cried.
We had been waiting for the better weather to work on it.
Now, he won’t be with me to see it.
I wanted him to be able to enjoy it.
I miss him so much. It physically hurts.
Just like you … I’ve been crying all day … Our garden and our house looks so beautiful … and my husband can’t even see it. For me this is almost pointless now … as he’s not here any more.
In addition the weather has been atrocious again.
In addition to our grief … we’re not even allowed to ever have a bit of decent weather
I have no idea but if you find out please let me know.I used to do a lot of knitting too.