one of the cats woke at 6.15 a.m. ready to go out.
So I got up, let him out, said hello to the other and then straight back to bed.
Still in bed, thinking about what to do.
I might go out as I was home yesterday.
No idea where I will go or what I will do.
That’s something that I now have to do in this ‘new’ life, decide.
We were quite an indecisive couple at times.
Unless there was something that had to be done, we would ask each other
where to go, say we didn’t mind, ask what the other wanted to do and then ….
usually went to the same place we had been the day before.
Sadly, he died very near there and I have only been back once.
That is something I will face in the future.
Something having to be done has reminded me there is something.
So it seems my decision has been made.
Good morning Rose
I’m up trying to make myself go and mow the grass.
I had a better nights sleep. But then I got what I wanted and dreamt of Roger. Not the first one but one of the most vivid, another one where id lost him and couldn’t find him, but this time I did, I think.
This morning I’ve been in bits, the tears just keep coming.
I’ve had 2 quite good days and thought maybe, just maybe I’d turned a corner, now I feel overwhelmed again.
Will this ever stop
Hope you have a good day Rose. Yes try and go out, I’m no good at decisions either but now we have to learn. I’m going to lunch with 2 friends today so that will be nice. I’d better pick myself up, I’m sure people don’t want me upset all the time
I’m struggling on with my garden but to a non gardener it looks good everyone tells me it’s beautiful but I can see below the surface.Peter died last May suddenly and he’d got his tomatoes and cucumbers planted in the greenhouse.I had never tended to them before but did very well with them and had good crops.I’m going to plant some young tomatoes today and hope for the best.
I’m sure you’ll do fine. Its all trial and eror to start with. I found reading books a pit off putting so try to only look something up when I’m desperate.
I’m not doing much in the way of veg this year but I will do tomatoes and a few beans, and carrotts and spring onions because I’d already got the seeds
Good luck but I’m sure youll do ok
Thank you I hope you do well too ,it’s nice to talk to someone about gardening.I have plumbers here at the moment installing a new bathroom for me which is a big step for me to have the motivation to get anything done.Anyway they are loving my garden and asking me lots of questions about it which is spurring me on to do my best.x
Hi Rose. I hope you have had a good day.
After getting over the tears this morning I did a bit more gardening. Then I went for lunch with my friends which was lovely.
So after a very shaky start, my day turned out ok. I’m in bed now, wide awake as usual, I think thats the only time I fully wake up, when I want to go to sleep
I’ll write to Roger now. I’ll try and do it without tears, but I doubt I’ll manage that.
I hope you have a peaceful night
Sending love and hugs
Liz x
