Good mrning, or should I say afternoon Rose , sorry I didnt answer earlier but I went out about 9 and only just got back.
Yes I did sleep but still woke up exhausted.
I think I’m having a good day, I did my friends garden, at last the sun is out. I spoke to 2 different people who asked how I was, without crying. I have had a few tears but not as many as usual.
I keep hoping I’m at a turning point, but I also know tomorrow could be very different.
I hope you are having a reasonable day too.
Hi Rose
Today has probably been the best day since I lost Roger. But I’ve just come home, and he’s still not here. I’m in bits again, but I will hang on to the good day I’ve had, and hope, if I dare, that I may get some more good days. Its what Roger would have wanted, and what I promised, “I’ll be ok” I said and nearly was today. Fingers crossed I’m at a turning point and am learning to cope, at last.
Hi I just can’t get my head around what has happened. I still don’t believe that I will never see, hear or touch my lovely man again. I hate the life I have now. Miss him so much. I don’t think the walk helped. Will have to try harder.x
it really is incredible how similar our experiences are!
I think I said I was going out today. with 2 friends to find somewhere to have a celebration of my husband’s life in a couple of months.
We went to a location I was considering. It was somewhere that we would go on sunny days, which is was today. They had not been there before and absolutely loved it!
We went for a walk, had lunch at somewhere new to all of us.
Like you I think it is the best day I’ve had since he died.
Again, like you, when I got home my husband was not there and the house felt empty. I also felt really sad that he was not able to enjoy the lovely sunny day I had today. Maybe, even guilty.
Another rollercoaster day but we must hold on to the positives to keep us going and build on them in the time to come.
Hi Rose, we certainly seem to be on a parallel.
I’m glad you’ve found the place for your special celebration and you’ve had a good day.
I had a really good and positive day today too, and thought that maybe I had turned a corner. I saw friends and we talked and laughed and had a lovely time, we talked about Roger and we talked about, things. It was nice, and for a few hours my life was good.
Then I came home. The same empty lonely house. No Roger, nothing. I’ve been a bit tearful this evening, but I have realised that I’ve had my first good day and maybe, just maybe there will be more.
I’m glad too that we’ve both had a better day. Lets hope we have more.
Good morning Rose
I hope you had a good night.
After that good day yesterday I had a terrible night. Tears kept coming but sleep wouldn’t. But this morning the sun is trying to shine and I’m going to try and have another positive day like yesterday.
I’m going to the nursery today to get some plants. If I can start to sort the garden that will be a positive and maybe I will have another good day.
What a roller coaster this journey is.
I hope you have another good day today
Hi Lito,
I have bought some new stuff for the garden and intend to do something out there today but feeling sad and overwhelmed yet fed up derby ny small garden looking so untidy.
My partner had his own bigger garden his was very nice but he encouraged me with my little garden but I am now lacking the urge to maintain it, without his enthusiasm and encouragement.
That in term gets me down and that relentless cycle of sadness and loss continues.
Feeling teary yet again now.
I do want to feel positive but it is so hard, as you all know.
Sending love to all.
I wrote a little bit of my journal last night but it brought tears.
I felt sad that he wasn’t still here to enjoy the better weather.
We had talked about really wishing for better weather so that we could go to places
we loved.
I also felt guilty that that I could go out and he couldn’t experience what we had so looked forward to doing. He would have loved it.
Of course, there was also coming home after my afternoon out.
That is still very difficult .
I think that’s something you and I will have to get used to over time.
I was quite tired after being out and then doing some shopping.
So I did get some sleep until 5:45 am when one of the cats needed to go out
to go to the loo . Still in bed, but I will get up soon.
I think probably today I will just put around the house and garden.
Although the garden centre does sound tempting!
It certainly is a rollercoaster, but I’m so glad that we seem to be able to look for
positive things to do. I think that is a great step forward for both of us.
Looking forward to hearing about what you got at the nursery.
Hope it’s a positive day, Liz.
Lets hope we can both find a bit of positivity today.
I allowed myself to think I’d turned a corner yesterday but I think I’d better start realising its only a step, but thats better than I have been and I mustn’t try to run before I can walk. I think the nights are going to be bad for some time to come. Too much time to think.
I’m glad you’re doing your journal, I cry every time I write to Roger, but I still feel it helps
I know what you mean about feeling guilty, we can still do things, they can’t
Hi @Elite.
It is sad with what we’re having to cope with. But now I’m trying to find positives wherever I can.
I thought I’d made strides yesterday, but now I realise it was just a step. But a positive step.
This relentless grief is awful and I’m just trying to find a way to cope. Thats all we can do now.
Take care
Love and hugs
Hi Rose, how’s your day been?
I’ve had another not too bad day, got some plants this morning, begonias, gazanias and a variety of plants for my ornamental wall and some tomato plants. I used to grow these from seed but I’ve not felt up to it this year.
I got some of them planted, then my friend came for a cup of tea and a chat so that was nice and passed the afternoon. Mostly talking about Roger. I hope people don’t get fed up with me constantly keeping on.
Now of course I’m home alone, I’m finding that harder and harder, going to bed on my own makes me cry now. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it.
So I’ve had a goodish day which is another step forward, and a bad evening. I suppose I’ll get there eventually, when the pain and loneliness get easier to bear.
I’m going to write to Roger now, so thatll be more tears .
Hope you’ve had a better day
I think this lovely weather helps
I managed to do some gardening and stayed in the garden longer than before without crying.
Did the garden in phases. So was able to have a few breaks.
This afternoon I was gardening and suddenly I remembered how he would come to where I was with two mugs of tea so we could stop and have a break. in my mind I could see this so very clearly. That was it and I cried so much. I also was thinking how unfair it was .
So. mixed day.
I am pleased that I was able to do so much gardening. Still so much to do but our front and back gardens are very natural and wild in places… So I can always say that’s how they are meant to be .
I think the memory coming back is not surprising as he did that so often.
It was very upsetting as we would just sit and relax together. They were lovely moments.
I have spent the day by myself at home today unlike yesterday. Which I think made a difference.
I did think about going out but decided that being home and feeling the emotions that memories bring is also a part of grieving and hopefully moving forward.
I will soon start writing as well(after looking up gazanias!).
I have tomato seedlings that my husband had sown. They are rather leggy so must transplant them.
Glad you have had a good day.
Hoping for good weather tomorrow’s here and with you.
They’re lovely and with deadheading they just keep going, they sometimes make it though the winter if its mild. Plus they don’t mind a bit of neglect so thats always handy. X
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