Linda I remember you telling us about your friends. Is the coffee shop far from where your wheelchair friend lives?
Hope they both make it.
Liz you’re off to a good start stripping the bed. Hope you have a nice time in the garden.
I had a nice time with the oldies. Lovely stories.
Almost cried when I came home but am trying to be more positive in my attitude. I certainly think fear of the future being alone is playing on my mind.
2 Likes
Hi all,
Just had my counselling session and cried quite a few times in it. Drained but have a break for lunch now to try and recover before working again.
Siobhan 
2 Likes
Beautiful day here so took the chance to do a bit of gardening.
For those who are interested:
Gardening pests lesson no.1
Vine weevil grubs, often found in plant pots/ tubs particularly on patio, the weevil chomps on your plants, lays eggs which hatch into grubs that go into the compost and eat the roots, ultimately killing the plant, often first realised when you lift a plant and there’s no roots!
Best treated with natural nematodes available online or a chemical.
3 Likes
Lucy I think that and the loneliness are the biggest things we have to face.
I don’t mean lonliness because we’ve not got friends and family.
But that awful feeling of being alone and lonely when we are with friends and family.
Lonliness at home I try to cope with by distraction, I know its not always easy.
But this beautiful weather means I can be in the garden. Although I’m constantly talking to Roger. I think my neighbours think I’m mad S:upside_down_face:
X x
1 Like
I know Nigel, horrible little things, I usually sueve the soil and squash them!
X x
I feed them to the ducks! seem to have a bad infestation this year.
1 Like
Crying through your counselling is fine.
I did all the way through mine.
But it did get less, or I stopped quicker
I did feel it helped. A bit.
I hope you’re ok.
Hands here if you need them
X x 
1 Like
I haven’t really done much this year
I have a problem with my back and I’m supposed to stop before it hurts.
Touble is the pain killers I’m on are good so I’m probably ovetdoing it, when I think what I could do without them.
But I am making headway.
As I’m going to be moving sometime in the near future I only intend keeping it tidy. No more spending a fortune on plants
I will miss my garden but I can’t do it justice anymore
X x
1 Like
Big hug xxxx
2 Likes
The coffee shop is about 360 yards away.
So she doesn’t have to go very far in the electric wheelchair.
The thing is she doesn’t want to use it at all.
She wants to be pushed everywhere but it is difficult physically for many of her friends and family.
1 Like
What makes her feel so unsafe in the electric wheelchair? I must admit I hated my mobility scooter when I had it. Tricky to get off and never felt quite in control. Wondering if she has the same feeling in the electric wheelchair.
1 Like
I think she is a bit nervous in it but she is really good using it.
I think it is a small part of the problem.
I believe there are 2 main things.
Firstly, she has been in and out of hospital quite a bit and she seems to have got into
an ‘invalid’ mindset. She has convinced herself that she can’t do much for herself, when she actually can.
The other thing is, when people told her the benefits of an electric wheelchair one thing was she would be more independent. Some of us believe she doesn’t want to be independent as she equates independence with people not visiting as much if she can do things for herself.
So by sticking with an ordinary wheelchair, someone has to be there to push her.
The thing is, people are now limiting their visits as the visits have now turned into carers visits not a cuppa and laugh with friends and family. She has 4 carers everyday and they have little to do as others do the cleaning, shopping, etc.
It is very sad but when she has made up her mind about something that is it.
I thought someone have a frank conversation would work. So a good friend had that, not at all harsh, and said look your friends and family are not young and have health problems so it would be a great help to them as well as you. It didn’t work at all.
2 Likes
Perhaps the only thing to do is hard but stop visiting for a while and see if that then persuades her that her plan is not working but the opposite. Or make it a condition that she uses the electric wheelchair. If when you turn up she won’t then turn right round and leave but think you must all stop pushing the wheelchair. Perhaps even if you have to make up a reason why you aren’t able. Tough love.
2 Likes
Hello everyone, I am home from my lovely weekend away with my family but very sad coming home to an empty house. I have only been away overnight since I lost Ray and I don’t know why but coming into the empty house felt so much worse than before, I have had a good cry, blown my nose and pulled my big girl pants up.
4 Likes
I think part of the reason I hate Sundays so much is I only have the morning care visit at around 7 a.m. The house seems very empty for the rest of the day.
3 Likes
Totally get that, Sandra. I’m really lucky, as it’s one of the days I regularly have coffee with the neighbours, but it was always a day we’d be together after a week at work, so it seems worse than weekdays.
2 Likes
Hi Jane
I’m glad you had a good time with your family
The same thing happened to me when I came back from my sisters after Easter. I had got used to it but all of a sudden it was hard
It’s horrid isn’t it.
X x
3 Likes
I think it is going that way.
I discussed this Wednesday with F1.
She has bad knees which are worse at the moment. So she doesn’t feel up to pushing the wheelchair.
I will be waiting at the coffee shop. So we’ll see what happens.
I think you are absolutely right, tough love. Not easy as we all care but this is helping anyone.
How was the pork yesterday?
2 Likes
Should read is not helping
1 Like
For the first time not great. Supposed to be arriving at 12 but Nicola was having a bad day and packed the gravy but forgot the meal so agreed to have it in the late afternoon as evening meal. Arrived at 5 but this time the gravy had spilled. Of course by then I had been nibbling bad things all afternoon and didn’t really want it. Think I might take a break this Sunday. I have a lasagne ready meal in the freezer which I could pop in the air fryer. See what meat it is.
2 Likes