Just a thought. How long is the care visit? Couldn’t the carer push her if she insists on not using the electric wheelchair though it would limit the time available.
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Liz thanks. I cried in the 1st session and I think teary in the 2nd this was my 4th. I next have it in 2 weeks because of bank holiday. I only have one l re after that. I wasn’t sure if it needed them but waiting for the day as i thought I didn’t need today’s!
Linda you can’t help how someone else thinks. Hope she shows up for you.
Jane it’s hard being in an empty house.
I am worn out from today. Sitting in the sun for a bit.
Siobhan 
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I think it’s between 20-30 minutes.
So it would have to be a very quick cuppa.
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Evening all
My apathy is so high right now! Just don’t feel like doing anything but feel like I should be doing life admin. My rationale is that counselling and working after doing practically nothing for 3 days is more than enough to deplete any energy I had.
How is everyone else tonight
Siobhan
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Evening Siobhan,
rather tired.
This afternoon I started tidying up the patio.
I didn’t do anything to it last year.
I only managed about half of it as it was just me.
We would do it together and get it done in an afternoon.
So another first.
Of course, memories came back.
Will probably finish it tomorrow.
I am sitting here thinking I will pour a small gin having watched a magpie sitting on an arch.
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You’re working, Siobhan. On top of coping with grief and a whole new life, that’s a lot; no wonder you’re tired. You’ve also been unwell. Be kind to yourself.
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Thanks Kathy. It means alot.
Linda sounds like you’ve done a lot too. Have a sip for me. I clearly am not well because the idea of alcohol is not appealing. 
Siobhan
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Hope you see another Magpie. But maybe it’s appropriate as the old rhyme goes one for sorrow.
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I hadn’t thought of that x
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What?? 
I occasionally feel like that x
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Siobhan hope you were all right for work after. Did the counselling help?
Don’t know how you manage grief and work. I’d be exhausted.
Ooh I don’t like the look of those at all Nigel.
I’ve had another strange day. Coping less well than a couple of months ago. I know I’ve not passed the one year yet but I’m wondering if up until now I’ve just been doing one day at a time thinking I’m coming to the end somehow and now I’ve realised it goes on. Sorry didn’t explain that well.
Linda my Ken wasn’t happy outside on His electric wheelchair either, he kept saying it felt like he was going to fall out as the pavements were so bad. Hope your friend does come it will do her good.
Hope being in your garden helps a bit.
Jane glad you had a nice time away. Really hard to come back to an empty house when you’ve been used to having company.
Sandra not surprised Sundays bring you down. It’s a long day without company. I do wish you could get out somewhere.
Liz. Hope you didn’t overdo the gardening. At least the painkillers are working. That’s something.
I’ve been on the phone to my pension company this afternoon to try and get my tax codes sorted out. Very helpful lady but between us I manage to confuse us both🤣
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Lucy thanks. Yes luckily the work I had didn’t involve talking with other people so it was ok. But I did chat with a colleague and she’s fed up with work so it was good to have a moan with her.
I think the counselling help in that I talked about the guilt I feel. So crying released some of that stress I have been holding in.
I relate to what you are feeling. That’s how I have been feeling a lot lately. The endless days of no more time with Drew. It’s tough to handle. Plus I also don’t like who I am without him. Sorry I’m not uplifting for you.
Siobhan
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Siobhan you may well be asleep now
I too carry guilt as do a lot of us.
I came across this, and it really helped me
I hope it helps. It made me look at it in a different way
Liz x x 
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Goodnight everyone
I was late up, now I’m late to bed
I hope you all sleep well
Love and hugs to everyone
Liz x x
Fell asleep at about 10 p.m.
Woke up 2.45 a.m.
Called for Mr F but he is either asleep outside or having an adventure.
Now listening to Canadian election results as I am on here.
Night, night
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Morning everyone. Another warm day. Hope everyone got a good night’s sleep. Wordle in 4.
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Morning Kathy.
It does look like another warm day. Didn’t sleep great. Never can figure out why. Awake every 2 hours.
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So sorry, Sandra. Hope you can have a daytime nap to catch up.
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I certainly intend to try. Wordle also 4. Waffle 5 stars.
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Siobhan you don’t need to be uplifting for me. We are all struggling together. I think around the one year mark reality sets in. I’ve heard others say it and didn’t understand quite what they meant till now.
I must try and go back to the one day at a time mode of thinking.
That’s lovely Liz. Thank you for posting it. Yes I feel guilty too.
Linda did the Canadian results send you back to sleep.
Morning Kathy and all
Sandra sorry your sleep is so interrupted. Must make you feel very tired during the day.
I’m off to sit fit later. Haven’t been for two weeks. I expect I will struggle.
Catch up later
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