Good morning everyone. Still windy in Edinburgh but mild. Awake most of the night because my bedroom is in the attic and can hear the wind there. Take care Sharon xxx
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I am in a very solid bungalow in a sheltered position. Have lost a fence in a previous storm so the new one was reinforced.
Xx sandra
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I do hope your sore throat is better soon. Grief really knocks the immune system.
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They moved Norman into a side room and offered me a fold out bed. I could not use it as there was no way I could get out of it. I tried to stay in the chair but by midnight I had to go home or I wouldn’t have been able to move. Had to find a taxi that could take my mobility scooter. Only saw him another couple of times then as difficulty with transport and mobility. Last time I saw him he didn’t know I was there due to the morphine.
My grief counsellor helped me with the guilt that I couldn’t stay with him but I don’t think I will ever fully get over it.
Xx
Sandra
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Sending a big hug xxx
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I have been up about an hour.
Tony was very hungry.
I have to mash up his food for him.
He gets a small portion each time.
So it takes a while, I don’t mind.
Our other cat, Felix, who had been out overnight, turned up at the back door.
They tolerate each other.
So, they feed with distance between them.
This morning, Felix dined Al fresco and Tony in the kitchen.
I then managed to make myself a mug of tea.
I think everything is ok, the weather was awful yesterday morning, better in the afternoon.
Two friends popped in for a chat yesterday, that was much appreciated and really helped. For one thing, I had to tidy up!
This morning I have been up and down and up and down and that’s in one hour!
I have the best day you can have today.
Love and hugs,
Linda 
xxx
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There is no way you could liquidise food for Tony? He might get more nourishment that way.
Xx
Sandra
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Yes, I have liquidised some of his food.
He liked that very much.
Just haven’t washed up the liquidiser bowl yet.
That is part of today’s housework.
Great minds think alike! Xx
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Norman had to have his jaw broken and his upper teeth move forward and his lower teeth moved back. He was on liquidised food which is what made me think of it. Said it all tasted the same.
Xx
Sandra
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Good morning it is a lovely bright morning here, we escaped the worst of the storm thankfully.
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Thank you thinking of that for Tony.
The first time I just gave him the liquidised food and there was an unfortunate accident afterwards.
So now , used as a sauce to his finely mashed up food 
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Dear Sandra, I’m so sorry I hope I didn’t make you feel guilty by saying I stayed with my Ken all the time. There is no need for you to feel guilty.
I am reasonably able bodied and I found sleeping (or not) in the hospital chair very hard I’m not surprised you needed to go home. I also had support from our sons and brother in law who gave me breaks during the day.
If Norman was on strong painkillers he was probably asleep much of the time.
I think we all carry guilt with us. Each of us with our own personal guilt. With me it’s that I should have done more to stop him being in hospital in the first place, I should have stopped them giving him the medication I wasn’t keen on him having. All sorts of things. I think we all have that in some form.
I’m sure you did all you could for Norman. Let the guilt go you did what you could as much as you could.
Love Lucy x
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Yes I suppose it would go through him rather quickly. I love cats. Would love to have one now if I was able to care for it.
My cats were diesel and shadow, pip, tramp, heather, laurel and hardy, amber and noble.
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Morning all. Glad to hear Tony is still eating.
I’m afraid I slept in the night so didn’t hear the storm at all.
One of my plant pots is leaning sideways that might be as a result of strong wind.
Mondays and Tuesdays are usually my worst but today I’m meeting up with a friend and this afternoon counselling. Tomorrow I’m meeting up with younger son so hoping I can cope a bit better.
Have a good day all x
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Wishing the best days possible xx
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Siobhan sorry to hear you’ve a sore throat. Have you taken paracetamol? I had a sore throat for a few days after having my flu and covid jabs, hope you feel better soon x
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It’s ok Lucy. I know I was there when I could be. It’s irrational I know but as you know it doesn’t help. He was lucid until the last couple of days and had lots of visitors. Friends, family and even our financial advisor who drove from ascot. I don’t think there was a day when someone didn’t visit. On his last day his Masonic brethren visited him.
The morphine meant he couldn’t use his phone but I got the ward to connect me.
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Good morning everyone, I’ve woken up at last
I wish I’d found those tablets a while ago when I couldn’t sleep
Trouble is now I can’t stay awake for long. I’m hoping to get used to them, because they do help with the pain
I dreamt of Roger last night and actually woke smiling.
I don’t think we had any really bad weather, its a bit gloomy but thats all
I’m glad Tonys still ok
Siobhan you’ve had that sore throat for a while, have you seen the doctor?
Sandra I’m sorry you’re carrying guilt, but I think we all do and we shouldn’t. Its just part of grieving. I feel guilty for having a go and calling him selfish just a week before he died. I was exhausted and everyone says don’t feel guilty but I do.
I hope everyone is out, or on the way out, of the swamp today.
If not my hands are here, as long as I’m awake of course 
Love and hugs to everyone
Liz x x
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Good morning Jane.
I hope you’re feeling a bit better today and aren’t in too much pain
And I hope you’re managing to get some rest
Will be thinking of you
Love and hugs
Liz x x
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You mustn’t blame yourself. Both my parents died when I wasn’t there. I was also asked to sign a DNR for my Dad, due to the lack of quality of life should he recover from his heart attack. For many years I thought I had killed him; the guilt was terrible. We do the very best we can for those we love, and they know that, and would never want us to go through that guilt. What matters is not whether we were there at the end, but how we loved and cared for them in life. xxx
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