The additional stress of the sadmin alongside grief takes a terrible toll. I am hoping that’s what showed up on my ecg in December. I read that grief can cause temporary heart problems.
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Maria
How did you cope? Are you retired or like me still working. It’s so frustrating because I am doing all the right things but it doesn’t seem to be shifting this week.
Sandra I can’t believe grief can cause heart problems but I guess it’s not surprising.
Take care all
Xxx
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Hi Sandra
You are quite right the stress of grief along with
All the admin is just unbearable.
I Had no idea what I had to deal with Sam never
Mentioned it.
I don’t suppose he really knew it either or he would have gone over it with me.
He handled absolutely everything financial
Banking organising for work men etc.
I had to sell his almost new car and as I saw it drive off with his private plate I just about
Collapsed.
His plate actually said SAM and he had it 43 years.Taking his name off bank accounts etc
Was like brushing him out of my life.
Stupid people on the phone for hours no one
Ringing back and having to go over and over
Everything.
Stress and grief has a massive effect on health
Mood and the ability to cope
Only people like us know.
Love Doreen xx
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It’s called broken heart syndrome.
Norman and I were married 1 month shy of 50 years.
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Sandra so sorry to hear the time of his death. 
Doreen - you poor thing. If course that’s hard seeing his car and personal reg be driven off
Gosh we all have it tough but understand what we are feeling. Xx
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The car is a huge thing. John actually died in his - he’d apparently just got into it when he collapsed - but he left everything to his daughter, and she sold the car. The day it was driven away was one of the worst days ever.
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Aww Kathy ( hope I got your name right as I misplaced my list)
So sorry to hear about how John died but also his daughter selling the car.
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Thanks. Yes, I’d have kept it forever if I could. I used to sit inside it, try to feel his last moments and what he must have gone through; but it was an instant heart attack, over in a second.
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Norman told me to sell his car as soon as we were given the diagnosis and that he had very little time. It was on a PCP. He said to try the garage we bought it from. They were brilliant. They didn’t usually buy cars not in part exchange. They came to me for everything. They gave me a price that paid it off and with an extra £2500. It didn’t finalise until after his death. The salesman even tried to clear his schedule to come to the funeral as the sales room was around the corner from the crematorium. It was the third car we had bought from him.
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John’s car was an old wreck; his daughter only got £1000 for it.
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It’s difficult to decide what to change(if anything) or get rid of,I had ordered new bedding and debated with myself for ages whether to put it on as she wouldn’t have slept on or under it,I guess there must come a time when things have to change otherwise the house becomes a mausoleum.
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I have so much to get rid off. The decanters will be next. He loved them though none of them are worth much. He hadn’t drunk alcohol in about 20 years.
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Just heard from Jane she’s having problems getting on the website,could be crap hospital WiFi,she’s had an X-ray to make sure it’s all in the right position,had to change the dressings cos she’s allergic to the adhesive,she sends everyone her love.
RonXxx
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Ron
I hear you and it’s difficult but very much and individual decision. It’s whatever feels right for each person but no rush.
Sandra - I read or heard about nit wanting to get rid of things that reminded us of our loved ones. Getting rid of an item doesn’t remove the memory. Certain things you could make into a keepsake. Like putting cards into a scrap book.
I am not getting rid of anything til I am ready which probably won’t be til next year.
Xx oo
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Siobhan. I have already got rid of a lot of stuff. When I started you couldn’t see the bed or floor in our spare bedroom. Now it is a bedroom. I just ran out of steam but ready to start again now.
Got to sort through the CDs and DVDs. We have hundreds of each. Can’t reach everything so it is slow going.
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That’s very true,each persons choice,I guess it’s just a question of when not if,like you it will be the new year before I do anything.
Xx
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Hi, just got in from work, i needed a coffee and ciggy before doing anything.
I had to sell our car, it was too big just for everyday travelling back and forward to work plus it used to pull the caravan which i had to sell when my beautiful man was taken. I had to sell his motorbike also because our son wanted to learn to ride so he could keep his dads bike. The bike was a 1200cc he would have killed himself, i had to sell but it broke my heart to do it.
The changes are immense and they are none stop.
I don’t think my heart can take much more. Don’t they say that you are not given more than you can handle…well i am saying enough, enough now.
Sending my thoughts and hugs to all here.
Nicky
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Please let Jane know I’m still thinking of her.
I hope they find some suitable dressings for her.
It’s 8 months for me on Friday, I did get rid of a few bits at the beginning and immediately felt guilty.
I think it will be a long time before I can even open his wardrobe doors.
X x
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Ray asked me to promise that I wouldn’t turn our home into a shrine for him, I have changed a few things, but I haven’t got rid of any of his belongings other than things were bequeathed to family members. You are right Ron things can’t stay the same for ever.
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I gave Norman’s omega watch to our nephew. I have a lot of good jewellery I never wear. Some has already gone to my niece in France. The rest will go to my great nieces.
My gardener coming tomorrow to jet wash the patio and he is going to organise the garage for me. He is going to take pictures so I can decide what to get rid of. Almost everything in there I think.
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