Of course nobody is fed up with you, just so sorry that you’re going through this. It’s so lonely without them.
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Yes, I’m so grateful now for covid. Almost a year of lockdown in Wales, and of being together for it. A gift.
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Blue7
Whatever you are feeling is normal for you. Everyone’s journey is different. I am so glad you shared. My husband died 5 months ago and I feel like the grief feels like it was yesterday. It’s even worse than when I watched him die in front of me
I was thinking today when do people start to dispose of their loved ones things? I haven’t even gotten rid of his comb, shaving cream etc.
I miss him loads & tired of people saying he’d want me to be happy, things will get better etc. I even had someone basically talk abtme meeting someone else!! He was (& still for me ) the love of my life. So I appropriate.
Thanks for letting me share. I feel safe doing it in this space.
Xx oo
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My husband was Diagnosed with cancer at the beginning of Covid. It terrible going to the hospital and we had to travel 100 miles to the hospital and a 100 miles back
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I think the dark nights and miserable weather have an effect. For the first time in 16 years I drove in the dark tonight, and I was scared. I have had a licence for 50 years, but my husband didn’t like being a passenger.
I walked into the house, the kitchen table was covered in half -resolved sadmin. There were forms to fill in for my daughter. Vaccinations and emails from the doctors that I have to attend to. And it just hit me that this is it, this is what I have to do on my own forever.
I have done what absolutely has to be done. Not to his standard, admittedly, but it will do. But I have not tackled anything big. And the future looks big and scary and bleak.
I miss him so much that I ache. Not a day passes without tears. I can’t look at photographs of him. I can’t listen to songs without getting upset. I hate getting into my big cold bed. I haven’t got rid of his clothes. His aftershave is still in the bathroom cabinet, but I have moved my stuff out so I don’t even open the cabinet and see his.
I have tried to be as busy as possible since he died but now I feel worn out. The trouble is, I can’t stop now because not much of what I started has reached a conclusion. I should have done one job at a time.
And now it’s bloody raining. Again.
Xx
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So sorry.
Sending hugs xx
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Good morning everyone,up early had a cup of coffee,picked up some bits in the garden,filled the log case by the burner,and then had a bit of a moment,clocks go back in a few weeks,dreary rainy days,cold dark lonely nights to look forward to,not something I relish,first winter without my wife it’s not gonna be pretty,just hope somehow we can all struggle through.
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Good morning I am dreading the winter nights with a passion, how the hell do we get through them.
Like you willow I cry everyday for Gra for the life we had , i watch other couples and I am jealous, I miss him beyond believe.
I send us all hugs Jo xxx
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Good morning Ron you have been busy, I am still sat here in my dressing gown thinking of all the things I should be doing. Its raining here again its so miserable.
Hugs jo xxx
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Morning Jo.
There was a break in the rain so I thought I would get it done,I do have to force myself to do things,well into shower and another lonely day to face.
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Good morning everyone
Yes winter is fast approaching. The long cold, dark days and nights.
None of us are looking forward to it so thank goodness we all have each other
Love and big hugs to everyone
X x
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Morning everyone, up since 5.30, thanks to my real life little alarm clock. Raining again and flood alert locally. Empty fridge means a dash up to Asda before the threatened deluge. Who knew that Bedfordshire was subject to monsoons.
The recent weather has resulted in all kinds of new waves of sadness. Getting warmer clothes out and all the memories of last time I wore them. Grappling with my mysterious heating system, autumn jobs in the garden, jobs we should be doing together.
X
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Thanks @Liro
I’m trying hard to find the advantages of Winter.
I had a new boiler last week, it’s great, and no more worries about the old one conking out like last year. S came to the rescue twice last year, as he knew plumbers, but I don’t.
No need to pretend to look fine for too many hours in the day now. I can close the curtains and shut the World out.
My dog is still alive when I thought she was on her way out last December.
I realise that when the sun does rise I will need to get up and out to make the most of the daylight hours. Not like today - I’m still in bed because it’s raining 
I will wear my big smart wool coat whenever it’s cold, no more keeping it for “best”, whatever that is!
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I’ve never really minded the winter, apart from the cold.
I always think you know where you are with the weather. Well you know what to wear anyway
I’ve always been happy to be at home and get on with my hobbies.
Roger was here or would be coming home if he’d gone out. Or I’d go out with him
My life was simple, but I loved my life.
Now I know I’m not going to like the long days on my own.
Roger won’t be coming home
Last year he said I needed a new winter coat. I don’t, the one I’ve got is perfectly adequate. I shan’t be going anywhere special. As you say no point in keeping things for best anymore.
Thats why I’ve got a wardrobe full of clothes I never wear.
Take care
X x
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Hello everyone,
I am also struggling.
I had a fall on Sunday evening, nothing broken.
Only a tiny bit bruised and concussed.
Being ill or hurt is so different and difficult without my husband.
He would always look after me.
I know so many of you understand this.
Anyway, I will try to keep busy today.
Just thought, do you think we all have swamp fever?
Feeble joke I know.
Wishing everyone the best Tuesday each of us can have!
Sending big hugs.
Love 
Rose xx
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Not feeble Rose probably true are you ok,don’t try too much especially with concussion.
Many hugs Ron.
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I totally understand.
I had started to think that things should not be kept for best just a few months
before my husband died. I had started in a small way to do this.
I have looked at clothes in shops, I have bought some everyday things that I needed. However, if I see something ‘nice’ I don’t get it as, of course, I think what’s the point?
Our life was simple as well. We planned to do a bit more when the better came.
I shall stop now.
As always,
love and hugs xx
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Yes, I am ok.
Thank you asking and the hugs.
Only a very slightly swollen eye and a tiny bit of a headache.
Down but not out 
Rose xx
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I’m a jeans and top kind of person. On special occasions I would wear trousers.
I had decided last year that I was going to start wearing dresses and skirts.
But then I lost Roger, my reason for being.
I’m not going to change now. He’s not here to see it.
So it’s jeans and trousers until I die.
Love and big hugs
Liz x x
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Since my wife passed 95% of my life has been spent in joggers and Ts,I guess it will continue but in warmer joggers and jumpers.
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