A year or so ago a member suggested that we all put a candle in our windows on Christmas eve. This suggestion was welcomed by lots of members and seemed to bring so many grieving people together each year. May I suggest it again.
Christmas is only another day and will soom pass for those that dread it.
My family made me put up a Christmas tree on my first year alone and I was pleased that I did as the lights helped to give my muddled brain a lift. I also found I enjoyed walking at night and looking at all the lights and Christmas tree’s in peoples houses. It reminded me that there could be joy in the world if not for me at that time.
Pxxx
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Dreading it, it will be my first year. My son and I would go to the garden centre each year and choose a new ornament and have lunch together. He loved his food so we would have lovely meals, Christmas Eve to Boxing Day, then again New Years day. His brother still wants to put decorations up and I need to be conscious that he has Christmas memories too that he still wants to keep. I said Yes to the tree but not looking forward to opening the box and seeing his stocking, things he made. I will light a candle on the day as well.
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think the idea of a candle in the window is a lovely idea .
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Hey hi ! Fully agree with everything you have said. This Christmas will be my third one without my husband who died suddenly. The first was a blur with everyone smothering me and pulling me all different directions. Last year was better but still glad when it was over but this year I feel I am going backwards. I have no interest at all and honestly cannot be bothered. Alas, I have four grandchildren who will expect their nan to be around. If it weren’t for them I’d go away on my own and come back in the New Year. I went to Australia after Christmas last year so had that to look forward but I need to shake myself out of the stupor and get my head around what’s coming up. I’m going to stay with a friend on the coast shortly, just for a week. Hopefully after that I’ll feel more in the mood.
It’s just not fair is it being the one left behind when it’s the time of year we both loved, but on my own it means nothing.
Georgina xx
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You said it all. Alone it means nothing.
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I have lit a candle every night since my lovely Christine died.
I will light an extra candle on Christmas Eve and place it in my window. A really touching idea. Thank you.
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A candle in the window i can do…yes i can do that. Christmas day candle being lit.
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I think the candle in the window for a lost loved one at Christmas is a lovely idea, and one in which I will be partaking in.
Jaq used to love Christmas getting a huge real tree every year, one year she thought about getting a smaller one, which we bought took it home only to then having to back and exchange it for a larger one because she didn’t like the smaller one…
She also loved an advent candle
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Hi
The lighting of a candle was the suggestion of a previous member but it caught on and each year it has been suggested once again.
For those that dread Christmas I can remember feeling the same way but every year I see the same comments on the forum about Christmas and we get through it the best way we can. I have no real feelings about it now but consider it another day and if all goes well then that is a bonus. We all handle it in our own way. Some will want to be alone and spend the day in their PJ’s others will be among family. Do what makes you comfortable and not what others exoect of you.
Pxxx
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John died on 3rd January 2021, so I empathise. He’d been very ill all through Christmas and my birthday which is 6 days before Christmas. So even nearly 3 years later it’s a very difficult time for me and I don’t really do decorations. I usually spend Christmas with my parents but Mum died in July (same primary cancer as John). So this year it’ll me, Dad and my sister and family. It’ll be sad not having either Mum or John there.
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My husband Tony died 3rd January this year it’s so heartbreaking to think he’s never going to be here to be part of our family for Christmas, just thinking of him not being with us is unbearable,
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I lost my husband of 40 years in May and my world feels empty. I cant seem to get over the fact i will never see him again. He was my soulmate and best friend. I didnt need any more friends. Life is hard.
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Same here Hazel we were married 37 years on Christmas Eve 37 wonderful years and it’s gone in a second how do we carry on when the love of our lives are no longer here 
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Hi @Lin22 @Hazel.1966
Sorry for your losses
I know how you feel 35 years we were married. I celebrated our 36 year anniversary on my own.
I dont know how we get through this but it has been 157 days since he left this world and it is not getting any easier.
Lynne x
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If it helps I know exactly how you are feeling and there’s nothing anyone can say or do for us, because all we want is our husbands back it’s that huge hole in our hearts, that ache that won’t go away, sending love and hugs
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Just a thought but wouldn’t it be nice if we all put what part of the country we are from, I live in Lincolnshire near the coast x
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Hi
Morning everyone up early as usual broken sleep.
Yes it would be good to know where in tbe coutry we are.
I am about 10 miles outside of Edinburgh.
Today i am visiting my mum who stays in Edinburgh she has midfle stage alzheimers and has already forgotten my husband. Shame as cant even talk to her about my loss.
Take care
Lynne x
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Morning Lynne enjoy your day as best you can with your mum x
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I think the candle is a really lovely idea. I tend to stay away from naked flames - with my hand-eye co-ordination I am likely to set fire to my block of flats! I have memorial fundraising pages set up for both John and Mum and I light virtual candles on those.
I live in West Sussex - but currently house-sitting for my Dad in Suffolk.
Hope everyone is able to have as good a day as possible.
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I live near Grays in Thurrock and lost my beloved Philmmore suddenly on Valentine’s Day this year. It is nine months today and even Heaven sheds tears. I love you and miss you so much. I won’t put a candle on the window but the little battery-operated reindeer I always put up during December to cheer my husband up coming home.
Sending love and hugs to everyone.
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