My wife died 13th September 8.40pm in my arms
How do I cope with Christmas, I don’t want to see anyone , I want to reflect on the past 12 months and come to terms with my situation
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Hello Chiselabbs,
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your wife. It’s ok to not celebrate Christmas this year, and spend the time in reflection, or however you choose. This time of year can be especially difficult when we’re missing someone, but please know that it’s important to do what’s right for you.
If you’re struggling to cope with the sadness, anger or any other emotion brought up during this time, we’re here to help. To find out more information, visit our coping with grief at Christmas at Coping with grief at Christmas | Sue Ryder
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, you may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.
- Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
- Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
- Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
- Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care, Rhi
Hi @Chiselabbs , sounds like an excellent plan, because that’s what I always choose to do, but I make sure I get out for a good walk with the dogs as well.
This is my third Xmas on my own, it might be difficult to believe in the first year, but it becomes easier each time. Indeed, I’m even looking forward to this year’s Xmas Day.
I never liked the traditional dinner, so this year I’m having an Indian banquet.
Hang in there, talk to her as much as you can, remember those past happy Xmasses.
Good luck.
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Thank you for your kindness
Thank you for your kind words
I walk 10k average per day with my rescue greyhound Daisy
On Xmas Day walkies, all dogs must wear tinsel and/or Santa hats! Mine do!
Hi Chiselabbs, my wife passed away in my arms in February, so this is also my first xmas without her. I will be going through the motions with family but can understand why you would want it to pass quietly. I also have a new four legged friend, a 9 month old lab. She has been a great comfort though she doesn’t get to go on as long walks as yours. I will be pleased when xmas and new year is over but then will need to deal with more challenging anniversaries. I deal with each day as it comes and try not to think to far ahead.
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It was my wife’s idea to get daisy greyhound and as she was on end of life care , I’d grant her anything I could possibly do. 3 weeks before she died , she told me the reason she got daisy was she knew when she had gone , I would look after myself because I had to look after Daisy , she was a very clever amazing person
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Yes, a dog/puppy does give some purpose and you do meet some nice people when you’re out walking.
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So very true
Hello Chisleabbs, my husband died 12 Sept this year. I am doing exactly the same, I just want to spend the time on my own. I am struggling to come to terms with his passing.
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Hello Shelley, I tell everyone I’m in a good place, the truth is I’m struggling , I cry my eyes out at the silliest things and times , I’m finding it really hard , she was my everything, my reason to live, I wish I could offer you some wise words of comfort , all I can say is you are not alone , and I feel on this platform you can be open and honest about your feelings without judgement
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Chiselabbs, thank you for your reply. I am so pleased I have found this community site. Reading through messages has helped me to understand that what I am going through is part of the grieving process and I am not alone with the feeling and thoughts that are constantly spinning around in my head.
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Hello Chiselabbs
This will be my 6th Christmas without my lovely wife,I get through it by reflecting on all those wonderful years we had together,hang in there you’ll get through this take care
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Hi M50 , thank you for your kind words, I was blessed with so many wonderful memories to look back on , I constantly see her and hear her in my head , see her smile , sounds stupid but I can still smell her , ridiculous I know but it’s so real
